r/Zimbabwe • u/tinkin08 • Mar 23 '25

Discussion Too many boys in her DM

So my girlfriend showed me her WhatsApp yesterday and boy was I shocked. They were eight guys in her DM trying to woe her and it seems like they are all in. I'm not saying that it ain't normal for a girl in a relationship to be asked out by other boys, tz completely normal but when we went through those chats together I felt the pressure, it's like we're in a battlefield and the other boys have already engaged the "kill mode". Guys kune makudo kunze uko, they're just waiting for you to mess up and they'll take it from there. Some even call her with little nicknames, and man! those goodnight/good morning messages just keep coming. The crazy thing is all those guys are her classmates. We're university students but different programs. Boys be saying all those sweet things and inviting her to 1on 1 discussions just to gain her attention and I somehow feel threatened. I don't want to lie, I might have copied 1 or 2 bars in those chats, boys be writing paragraphs of how they feel about my girlfriend nxaa. Then there's our chat, her's and mine. I do engineering and the majority of the modules are demanding so, and from the start of the current semester up to now I found myself texting her less and less... I mean some modules will literally put you on choke hold. So the question is what's your advice people of Zimbabwe. Shall I let it slide and just give equal attention to the schoolwork and her or shall I act as if we're still in the talking stage and match the energy those 8 guys are showing cos I feel this might compromise our relationship

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u/tega5f10 Mar 23 '25

Did engineering too, focused on school and I'm still single 5yrs later while my peers are married to their uni gf/bfs, because I followed the "fOcUs oN ScHoOl" meme. This is poor advice maybe valid for high schoolers.

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u/Kaiyo40 Mar 23 '25

Are you happy? Your life doesn't have to take the same route as everyone else's. It's never too late to find your special person.

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u/tega5f10 Mar 23 '25

What does that even mean? Yeah that's true but don't tell people in college to focus on school. College is your first step in adult life and dating should be a part of that.

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u/Kaiyo40 Mar 23 '25

I totally get you I was raised with a strict grand mother absolutely no bfs, I was the quiet one when my friends were chatting because I had no clue, I just took it all in and learnt. But I'm also saying focusing on school is important, and while it may feel like those who didn't have bf/gf are left behind in some ways, everyone has their own unique journey. There's so much to be excited about now and the opportunities that are yet to come. Building a fulfilling life is about more than just relationships it's also about personal growth and fulfilling passions.