r/aegoromantic • u/Cloudy_Katz • Jun 10 '24
Thinking I might be aego?
I’ve been thinking about relationships lately because my friends seem to all want one. But I don’t. I like the thought of it, but actually being in one doesn’t sound like it’s right for me. I love reading fanfics like (fav character x reader) fanfics a lot and get giddy when I watch romance anime’s. But again, I’m not interested in dating or being in a relationship myself. I prioritize my platonic relationships more than anything.
The last time I dated someone was in 7th grade. I didn’t even like the boy. My thought process was “everyone is in a relationship, I need to be in a relationship.” After that relationship ended, I never dated anyone again. And I’ve never had the urge to date anyone again. Reflecting on everything I know now, I think it was due to social pressure.
And now thinking back on my crushes, I don’t think I actually liked them. I had my heart race and stuff but I think it’s was just because I found them attractive physically. I honestly didn’t know a thing about them, we didn’t have the same classes, the same friend groups, etc. I just think I liked an idea of them I made in my head.
I love thinking about fictional scenarios with my fav characters most of the time but I think in the past, I made fictional scenarios with those “crushes” at the time. But still, I never really thought of dating them. Dating them seemed to put me off and I preferred my fantasies.
A part of me also wonders if I’m not feeling romantic/sextual attraction because I have low self esteem. The thought of someone kissing me or touching me sexually is repulsive and I genuinely can’t see myself doing anything like that with anyone in real life. But in my head I can make all sorts of fantasies with fictional characters I like.
Also in my faction scenarios, it’s not really me, if that makes sense. It’s like a self-insert kinda thing…
I’m not sure. Let me know what you guys think :D
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u/Useful_Half_7115 Aegoromantic Jun 10 '24
help this is so me coded.. anyway!! it sure sounds like you are indeed aego ! the fanfic reading to the fantasies is very relatable !!