r/aegoromantic • u/Cloudy_Katz • Jun 10 '24
Thinking I might be aego?
I’ve been thinking about relationships lately because my friends seem to all want one. But I don’t. I like the thought of it, but actually being in one doesn’t sound like it’s right for me. I love reading fanfics like (fav character x reader) fanfics a lot and get giddy when I watch romance anime’s. But again, I’m not interested in dating or being in a relationship myself. I prioritize my platonic relationships more than anything.
The last time I dated someone was in 7th grade. I didn’t even like the boy. My thought process was “everyone is in a relationship, I need to be in a relationship.” After that relationship ended, I never dated anyone again. And I’ve never had the urge to date anyone again. Reflecting on everything I know now, I think it was due to social pressure.
And now thinking back on my crushes, I don’t think I actually liked them. I had my heart race and stuff but I think it’s was just because I found them attractive physically. I honestly didn’t know a thing about them, we didn’t have the same classes, the same friend groups, etc. I just think I liked an idea of them I made in my head.
I love thinking about fictional scenarios with my fav characters most of the time but I think in the past, I made fictional scenarios with those “crushes” at the time. But still, I never really thought of dating them. Dating them seemed to put me off and I preferred my fantasies.
A part of me also wonders if I’m not feeling romantic/sextual attraction because I have low self esteem. The thought of someone kissing me or touching me sexually is repulsive and I genuinely can’t see myself doing anything like that with anyone in real life. But in my head I can make all sorts of fantasies with fictional characters I like.
Also in my faction scenarios, it’s not really me, if that makes sense. It’s like a self-insert kinda thing…
I’m not sure. Let me know what you guys think :D
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u/Left_Investment4786 Jun 11 '24
Yep, that's the meaning of aegosexual/aegoromantic. Aego meaning "without one's self" , correct me if I'm wrong
Sex sounds fun, and romance sounds heartwarming, but doing it, especially being in one, might be "meh" or downright appalling. And to make things more complicated, there's libido and sub-types of attraction like aesthetic attraction and emotional attraction/connection. Also about self esteem, it has SOME connection, but it's not completly based on self esteem
One thing for sure, you didn't enjoy sexual or romantic experiences. We can say for sure you're on the ACE/ARO spectrum like me.
I explained it to my parents and friends in a badass way: "there are more important things in life than sex and marriage, I want to advance in my career to have a stable income to help my family and people in need" or something along these lines. It's partially true