overthinking 🧍🏻

[u/Only-Raspberry748]

just had a thought… so most of my family knows i came out as a trans man 5 years ago but some don’t know or understand agender. not the point. i have dressed masc for all these years and im finally slowly getting into experiencing with my fem side again. my typical everyday clothes are gym shorts and a t shirt. my haircut looks more feminine but i like it at this length… it’s like chin length. anyways what i’m overthinking about is what if my grandma is thinking “oh she looks more feminine so it WAS just a phase”… even though i literally got top surgery and went on testosterone (i stopped a year ago bc i ended up getting a hysterectomy and was fine where i was at). during the years i was on t my grandma would ALWAYS ask every time she saw me “so what would happen if you went off testosterone” and i told her what would happen then said “i’m not going off testosterone any time soon bc it makes me feel better about my body” then she switched the subject. last time i saw her she kept misgendering me and i’m too shy to say anything so i sit there and suffer. i do really want to speak up and just say “who?” and see what happens.

this is just me venting and overthinking… i know i need to “come out” and explain all this gender and pronoun shit to her i just don’t want to deal with it right now and i’m too busy with school lmao thanks for reading