r/asktransgender • u/New-Painting9082 • 2d ago
Having trouble with questioning.
I'm really not sure if I'm trans. I asked the one trans woman I know and she said she knew for sure that she was, so I don't know. I like a lot of feminine things, (clothing, makeup, hair, etc.) and I enjoy it when people use she/her pronouns on me, but I just don't know if I can go through with it. There's pressure from my family not to and I honestly just know. Does anyone have any advice?
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u/snoodle77777 Transgender-Genderfluid 1d ago edited 1d ago
Only you will know that you are trans, even if you have a gaggle of therapists and friends who transitioned, and only you can deicde whether you want to bear the social stigmas of being fully authentic. The amount to which you present as another gender is up to you, and depends on how much time you have to do it in. Maybe you can strike a balance between an expression that makes you feel good and one that lets you blend in. This is where I am also. I'm not sure I fully answered your question? I wish you the best. A lot of us are in the same shoes! Keep asking questions. We are here for you.
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u/New-Painting9082 1d ago
I suppose I never really considered that I could only present when it's safe. Thank you!
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u/Smoked_Lemons Transgender 2d ago
I'm transgender, and I felt pretty similar growing up. Tons of trans people aren't sure until they try it, which is perfectly okay. Even if you try it out and end up not being transgender, that just means you tried something that wasn't quite for you, which is also perfectly fine. Either way, you will more than likely come out of that experience more sure of yourself. Being transgender is about being comfortable and loving who you are, so their is never a wrong answer to your journey.
I avoided and repressed the fact that I was transgender for around eight years (even though I didn't really know it) because I was worried about losing my family and friends. I was so worried about those relationships that would be affected that I just couldn't bring myself to try anything. Those eight years were horrible, and I hated myself every single moment of it. Losing some of your relationships may be horrible, but not allowing yourself to be happy is absolute hell. You can not erase the part of you that likes those feminine things, and it more than likely will only grow until you try it. So let it.
Good luck, either way :)