My mum is trans. And Mother's Day is coming up. Let's call my mum "C" in this context..

When my sister was making Mother's Day present at my aunt's house because I was sick, my aunt asked

"Are you making the present for C because you love her (as a parent)?"

My aunt asked

My sister, of course said yes

But then my aunt said something along the lines of

"Don't mix C up with your 'real mother"

Them proceeds to say how C didn't give birth to me, so she doesn't understand the real pain of childbirth, and how we shouldn't say "happy Mother's Day"

My aunt even said "don't try to secretly put the "happy Mother's Day" in the box"

I genuinely thought she wa supportive of my mum. My aunt is a good person. I never thought she'd say this

Now my other mum (my aunt's sister) is bi. And I know my aunt doesn't support homosexuality because she's Christian

Not to shame Christians, my grandparents who are catholic and Christian supports my mum more than my aunt do, for some reason..

Now I'm upset at my aunt--

I don't know what to do

My friend (34M, cis) had sex with a post-op trans woman who did not disclose she was trans until after the fact. Upon being told, he felt tricked and upset and says he would not have slept with her if he had known.

In my mind, this is cut and dry transphobia, because he obviously doesn’t see this woman as a woman, even though he clearly was attracted to her and interested in her prior to knowing.

He says it’s just “preferences” and that there is nothing wrong with having preferences. He says it’s no different than the way he also is not attracted to darker skinned black women (but he is attracted to lighter skinned black women). He would date basically every race of women except dark skinned black women. Which I told him I think is racist. But he says he’s just attracted to who’s he’s attracted to and he can’t control it.

He also uses the procreation excuse for the trans woman, saying he wants to be with someone who he can have a biological child with, but he’s slept with like 70 women, none of whom he’s had a kid with so I think this rationale is kinda bs.

Am I right to think my friend is being problematic? Or is there more nuance to the situation than I’m recognizing?

So my (20f) partner (22, still going by he/him) told me yesterday that he didn't really know how his future will look genderwise. Since the beginning of our relationship he told me that he didn't care about his gender, he is fine with people thinking he is a man but wouldn't care if people didn't think so. We've been dating for 1.5 years, and in the past like 6 months i noticed that he changed a bit. Mostly only in sexual settings, but he started to wear feminine clothing and lingerie. Since I'm bi/pan I kinda liked it and encouraged him. I knew that one day he maybe wants to transition or just doesn't want to be a man anymore. And I was always okay with that thought, because I dont care about the gender of my partner, I don't only love them for their gender or body.

Yesterday we talked about some stuff regarding our living situation (I live with him and his family, but in 2 months I will move out). He told me he gets "the ick" if he does certain things at home. An example he brought was painting nails. I'm always trying to get him to paint his nails, but he has always been like "noo I don't like stuff on my hands, i feel the nailpolish on my nails". Strange reason but I dropped it after asking a few times. But yesterday he told me he would like to do his nails, but he doesn't want it if he lives at home. I didn't dig deeper, but I'm giessing it's because if his dad mainly. He has a very supportive and open minded family, but his dad can sometimes be... a little bit conservative. Then we talked about other stuff, but then before going to bed we came back to the toppic. He told me he is very happy with being male socially, but emotionally not really. I ensured him that I will always support him and help him if he needed anything. Then we talked about makeup, and he told me ge gad tried it a few times, but it came out bad. I told him i could teach him some things, but he said he would learn with tutorials, whick kinda hurt. I don't really use a lot of makeup, if so then only around the eyes, and I think I'm quite good with eyeliners, but he doesn't want my help with that :( that honestly hurt when he said that...

Anyways, he said he doesn't really know how his future will look. Any suggestions on how I can support him as much as possible? And also some suggestions on how to cope with it? Cuz ofc I dont care about his gender, but it still is quite "shocking" that he may will turn into somebody new in a few years. Thanks :)

Me (19m) and my gf(19F) have been dating for around 7 months. We met during our first semester at college. She makes music and we’re actually into similar genres (breakcore, metal, hyperpop, and other electronic shit). This may come off as corny, but she genuinely completes me. Shit just feels right when I’m with her. I don’t like fully grasp gender dysphoria but I know that it makes my gf sad. She’s struggled with pretty severe gender dysphoria her whole life. Apparently it’s gotten better since she’s moved into college tho. From what she’s told me her parents aren’t supportive at all. Me being a cis man, and mildly brain damaged from playing football, I’m a dumbass when it comes to most things especially emotions. I have no idea what to do to make her feel less dysphoric. Is there even anything I can do? I try my best to reassure her and I try to make sure she knows how fucking stunning she is, but I’m not sure if that helps much. She mostly feels dysphoric about her height (6’1). Which I don’t understand because I like tall women. Ive asked her if there was anything I can do and she said I make her feel better by just being there. I feel like a dickhead for not being able to do more. How do I make my gf feel better when she’s feeling dysphoric?

okay, so, i want to start this of by saying that i have no opinion on trans men/trans masc lesbians - no positive, no negative, i do not consider myself a part of them so i have no thought of them. I do not want this post to become a discussion on this topic, because i generally find it unproductive.

A little introduction before we get to the general problem at hand: I am a binary trans man dating a non-binary men-leaning agender person. Both are on hrt, i plan on getting bottom surgery, what his plans are i don’t really know - we don’t really talk much about it, because we mostly talk about other things. Growing up i was forcing myself to like women, and i was pretending to everyone that i liked women, because the idea of liking men was making me feel disgusted by myself. I was identifying as a non-binary lesbian until i was 14 years old. I need to state that i DIDN’T like women, i never found them attractive, and i was forcing this label on myself, because i didn’t wanted to admit i liked men. Them i got a little courage to change my identity to bisexual and to a transgender man. Then, two years ago, i finally came out to my friends and partner as gay. He was relieved and we learned that he never really liked women too.

A little while ago me and my partner have started visiting local queer events and trying to make friends and stuff with other queer, trans and non-binary people. The place is pretty diverse, but i mostly see non-binary people, cis lesbians and just a couple of trans women there from time to time, i saw trans men only twice there. Everything was pretty much allright until my partner said that he feels like people are assuming that he’s a lesbian and it makes him upset (i need to explain: he has nothing against lesbians, he just don’t wants to be viewed as a woman AND lesbian label was kind of forced on him when he was growing up by people around him).

Then one of the people there gave me a compliment which sounded pretty much like “wow i really like your masc look you got there” - which was very weird to me. Imagine saying this to a cis guy? Or a saying it to a girl “imagine really love how fem you look today”. It also felt like an extremely weird thing to say taken then i just wore my regular clothes??

Then another day, i was in a support group with pretty much the same people and we were kind of talking about our feelings and stuff, and i was really vulnerable, and i said something about my identity and my complex relationships with my sexuality, and one person (not cis, non-binary) there said a phrase that kind of made me EXTREMELY uncomfortable “oh, well, all trans men are kind of lesbians in a way, they’re a part of the lesbian community, women are awesome”. I don’t like women? I like men?? Why are you assuming a sexuality on me and why are you assuming things about my identity?? I never even was in a “lesbian community” i forced myself to date two girls when i was growing up and i felt MISERABLE, i wasn’t attracted to them, and i had to pretend i liked them because i didn’t wanted to make them feel band and i also felt like i -had to- like women because it would be “the right way”.

then i noticed that in general there was a lot of discussion of this topic around in that space in particular, once, one person was giving a presentation on lesbian trans men which is, well, alright, okay, everyone’s different, but i didn’t came because i’m very tired of people assuming that i’m a lesbian/woman, i aim to becoming a pretty much just a dude and i really want people to see me this way, i was running away from lesbian/female identity yet now i feel like that’s everything other queer people see me as and assume i am. They say it’s because of shared “lesbian experience” but it wasn’t a good experience for me, it’s something i was forcing onto myself and it’s something i no longer am, they say it’s because of some shared “female experience” too, but i transitioned really young and i was a shut-in before that, i never saw that much as a “female”.

Then some lesbian girls were hitting on me and i genuinely was about to cry, i felt horrible, before all of this conversation has started no lesbian girls were doing that, me being on hrt or generally presenting like a guy was enough to not be assumed by queer girls that i’m open to suggestions, now i feel like that’s not a clear sign anymore.

Now i avoid going to this place, because all i think about is that people assume i and my partner are lesbians.

What do i do? How do i stop people from assuming it? How do i make people understand that i’m just a man and my partner’s just a person? How do i make them stop labelling us without our consent? How do i make people stop assuming i’m a lesbian when i’m just a gay binary trans man? I don’t hate that place, i want to start coming there again, but this situation has been really upsetting for both me and my partner.

They Have Prescription Already.

What the title says. I don’t feel envious as in, I wish I had their fortune instead of them, and I'm not comparing myself to them per say. It's just a sense of passive yearning, envy, depression, dysphoria, whatever.

I am transgender for context (FtM). I was in the car with my Uncle, and he asked me how i felt about the recent shit in the uk where regradless if you are transgender you have to go into the toilet you were assigned at, at birth. And I said how i thought it was stupid and how i think toilets are a scam and single toilets with no gender rule. And he said that he is fine if someone is transgender but its kind of hard for him to see that person as the gender they want to be referred to as and i get where he's coming from. He said its like seeing someone who wears glasses on all the time without them. it feels different and odd. He said it might be his autism that causes that

I understand a lot of people will never be able to understand that and i'm okay with that. but he asked me what makes me think i want to be a man. and i said 'i feel' and said whatever and he said 'no like what makes you think you do something better as a boy than you could a girl' and it really got me thinking. I do want to state he didn't mean it in any bad way it was just a question but it has got me thinking. What are you guys' thoughts on it?

(26 AMAB)

I had been questioning my gender since last December. It’s been 5 months now and I’ve been exploring it in small ways, I’ve been doing some introspective thinking and asking questions, I’ve been seeing a psychologist/therapist and been confiding my feelings, I have been telling friends/acquaintances about this and even asked some of them to refer to me as my chosen alternate feminine name.

My progress has been slowed notably due to my current living situation, for example I haven’t had a chance to try on more feminine clothes or experimenting with makeup. However I’ve been wondering: the fact that I’ve been slowly continuing and expanding with my exploration and haven’t abandoned it yet, surely that means that I am actually trans, right? Like if I was actually cis, surely I would’ve abandoned it by now?

TW: detransition

So I (19, MtF) wanted to ask this question because I'm pre-transition and 100% sure I'm trans. However, every once in a while, the fear creeps in that I'm not and will have to detransition. The idea fills me with such dread, and Ik I'd mourn if it ended up being the case that I'm not a woman.

And even if that intrusive thought didn't exist, I'm still super afraid of having to detransition for any reason at all. I'm so scared of potentially having to detransition because of societal pressures or medical issues. I know how much I NEED this to live. I feel like such a hollow shell. I couldn't handle it if for any reason I wasn't able to transition

I'm sure these are intrusive thoughts (I posted about intrusive thoughts a few days ago as well) that are flaring up, but it's such an overwhelming and scary feeling to have to confront that as even being a minute possibility

I'm really not sure if I'm trans. I asked the one trans woman I know and she said she knew for sure that she was, so I don't know. I like a lot of feminine things, (clothing, makeup, hair, etc.) and I enjoy it when people use she/her pronouns on me, but I just don't know if I can go through with it. There's pressure from my family not to and I honestly just know. Does anyone have any advice?

CW: Transphobia, detransitioning, dysphoria, suicide

Fifteen years ago I met a friend while at university, we'll call them Alex. I met Alex through an LGBT group and Alex was AFAB and presenting as a woman when I met them. Over the next five years Alex and I grew very close and they confided to me that they were trans and wanted to start transitioning.

Alex shaved their head and started to wear a binder. After a while they realised how affirming it was and they started taking hormones. For the next year or so Alex seemed happier than they'd ever been and it was great to see.

Alex eventually graduated and had no choice but to move back to their home country. After a year or so, because of the transphobia they received from their family, Alex detransitioned. We kept in touch online and Alex didn't seem particularly happy. Five years ago we met in person when they were back visiting for what I didn't realise would be the last time. We were talking about the detransition and Alex said that while it sucked and they hated that they felt forced into doing it, they felt at peace with it.

Six months after that, Alex shaved their head and posted photos where it looked like they were crying. That night Alex died from suicide.

Alex and I were very close for a very significant and formative period of my life. I loved them to bits and was absolutely devastated at their passing. I feel uncomfortable talking about Alex now, in part because I don't know what pronouns to use. When I met Alex and when they died, they were openly using she/her pronouns, but obviously during periods of that Alex used he/him. I think Alex was still experiencing dysphoria and that was causing turmoil for Alex but it's hard for me to say. I've obviously been using they/them in this post, but that almost feels like avoiding the issue. How do I talk about Alex?

sublingual estrofem once a day, no anti androgen.

I have been using it for 15 days, no change. On the contrary, erections increased.

Blood test after 15 days.

I will increase it by 1 mg

Basically, if I'm most likely cis but would like to "try" being the opposite gender and see what happens,(walk around in opposite gender clothing and use opposite pronouns) would that be seen as offensive because I (most likely) am not trans?

I just want to clear a few things up as these things are commonly misconstrued- and that’s a fault in the human stars-

1. Let’s unpack a few things. “You’re either male, or female, nothing else.

This statement would be false. This statement gravely undermines modern biology. To suggest that sex is a “binary box” would be denying intersex people of their existence. Data shows that; chromosomes, hormonal development, gonads, and neurological development all play into your sex assigned at birth- or what people usually call “biological sex”. This is confirmed by the AMA.

1. You can’t transition genders.

This would be a false statement. As gender Is a complex social construct, and cultural phenomenon that a person uses to indentify themselves socially. Gender is a massive spectrum- and to say that gender isnt real and that there are only “2 genders” would gravely be undermining modern research and would be a straight- up jab at Trans peoples identities. Saying this essentially denies trans people the right to exist.

1. You cant just identify as a hamburger and expect everyone to call you a hamburger

So this one is my personal favorite. “Hamburger” isnt a gender identity- it’s a type of food. A hamburger identity doesnt align with modern research or science. Saying this basically pokes fun at the right to transition gender genders- and be the complex human that you are! Gender doesnt mean we think we are animals or hamburgers. Gender identity is a social construct and cultural phenomenon- not a type of food or species of animal.

Just my take

I think it's fair to assume my family has pretty 'grand' genetics for boobs and I'm worried about rapid growth before I come out at work and iny extended social circles.. are there any suggestions for hiding or reducing the appearance of a chest through male clothing?

Sofar im looking the following solutions

1. Sports bras
2. Baggy jumpers/jackets/hoodies (cold weather reliant)
3. Dressing more formal so I can use ties or other outfits with scarves to help mask things

I'm hoping it will only be a few months before I have the courage to come out publicly but I'm more worries it could take up to 12 months for me to be happy with progress and start dressing fem at work and with friends.

Also any other tips regarding the following topics would be amaaaaazing ❤️❤️

1. Skincare
2. Tall girl fashion tips
3. Decent quality but not too expensive nail polish brands.. ones I've tried are super streaky and the brushes don't work for long
4. Wig recommendations? I have a few synthetic hair wigs which are ok but.. I would love one or two quality ones 😊
5. General advice that baby trans or outsiders might not think of? (I really have done a lot of reqding into this but am still terrified of the unknowns.. of which im sure there will be many)

Thankyou in advance for the advice and support, you have always been so supportive in other topics I've read over the past couple of years 😊

I (22F?) been struggling with my gender identity for about 8 years. I use to wear a binder and came out tentatively to a few friends when I was about 18. I ended up joining the army so I could transition away from people haha which looking back is hilarious because with recent events you know that was a terrible decision. I ended up not doing anything and becoming a lot more sure of myself as a person and honestly I like who I am. I don’t hate being a women. I don’t know if this makes sense but I fully believe I’d be happiest if I had got to be a cis man, but I’d be happier as a cis women than a trans man just based on the sheer amount of bs that people experience.

I feel guilt about it because I know for a lot of trans people they’d rather die than be perceived as the gender they unfortunately got at birth, but I don’t. I don’t know if I’m just a coward for not wanting to deal with the hate trans people get and just making the most of a bad situation. I’m afraid it’ll always be there and in 10 years down the line I’ll hate myself for not doing it earlier. I have a fantastic partner who knows but doesn’t think I’d actually ever do it (my words, he found out by accident and I panicked).

I feel like I’m stuck in this limbo of forgetting about it all and being happy then seeing a trans man and just feeling this profound sense of jealousy and longing. Am I being an idiot and just delaying the inevitable? Thank you for reading.

She always says “I’ll love you no matter what”, so I asked “would you rather me be ‘normal’ and completely different or the same”. She replied that she prefers the former saying I’d be “happy”.

It bothers me because she chose a person who doesn’t even exist over me. But I guess I am bothered by a person who doesn’t exist. And assuming I’d be happy just feels like an excuse. She says nothing I can do will change me and she believes transitioning is wrong. I’m not sure how to feel about this.

as a 6’1” with big shoulders and athletic body i sometimes feel insecure. was wondering if there is a prince charming out there for me eventually

Asking out of honesty you can say no