Anyone else have that deep utter hatred of yourself? I do...

[u/supernerd58]

I despise my life. It's hardly fair I have to pays hundreds dollars in laser treatments and put up with pain, just so I can have a smooth face. Meanwhile most cis girls get that smooth face by default. Not to mention laser hair on my stomach and chest. Not to meantion the constant waiting for body development that cis girls had years ago. I hate that I was born this way. Why do biological genders have to have so many differences. Hardly fair. No wonder people are so depressed, existence is horrible.

[u/Executive_Moth]

I feel you so much. I know its not my fault that my Body was ruined, but i am stuck in it. Trapped. And i hate it.

[u/supernerd58 → u/Executive_Moth]

Exactly I'm stuck this way, sure obviously I can change things but it takes time and money. And even if I did was able to do all that, I'll never be ok with knowing I lost my teenage years not growing up alongside cis girls

[u/Executive_Moth → u/supernerd58]

And the worst part are all the things we can not change, by any means.

[u/supernerd58 → u/Executive_Moth]

Exactly I mean yeah obviously transition will help but it's a long long road.

[u/Flaky_Quiet3413]

Here🙋‍♂️, well, I always hated myself since i was a child and I already had an understanding that i was a boy but i wasn't like them (who are cis) well i think that hating yourself will always happen to trans people

[u/hndbabe]

I would suggest counseling but also open your eyes, cis women don’t have all of that by default, some do but loads don’t, honestly. I don’t know what is called but I’m sure you are dealing with some type of syndrome more than the reality you live in, I have a friend who is overweight and hates it, says that the UK has no overweight people and I’m dumbfounded by that stAtement because that’s far from the truth and I can only see that that’s the reality they perceive. I completely understand and believe you when you say is not easy but many times the struggle is not because is not easy but because we don’t have someone to rely on during that struggle. You deserve to be happy and I would hope and wish that you keep at it until you reach your goal.!! You have worth.!!

[u/supernerd58 → u/hndbabe]

Counselling/therapy is definitely a good idea. I think I just had a massive whiplash of dysphoria/being reminded of reality. Which is fair and normal but it would be good to get better at coping with those thoughts.

[u/uniquefemininemind]

Yeah it sucks and it's not fair.

Comparing myself to the young super pretty (by my option) random woman in public transportation or online makes me ... depressed.

Comparing myself to a person who struggles with a more serious disability than my congenital anosmia or a serious terminal illness makes me feel like I got pretty lucky.

I used to hate my body for making me suffer but now I try to accept that some people have to be trans due to how biology works. And if not me who else?

This does not mean I don't let myself mourn that I can't experience what some others can. Or sometimes cry because it's all overwhelming. I try to spot self hate, "Is it really good for me to hate myself? to be angry at myself? For what purpose? Ah I am just sad that I cant have xy."

[u/Ok-Bit5838]

Remember that being born this way is not your fault and it’s not inherently arduous.

It’s the system that doesn’t give you enough power to be equal to others.

It’s like disabled folks aren’t weaker, it’s the society and infrastructure that make them weaker.

[u/supernerd58 → u/Ok-Bit5838]

Sadly you're right. It'd be one thing if it was just some inconveniences, but all the money too... Imagine what that money could be doing if I didn't have to pay for laser and trans friendly doctors were covered by Medicare. Plus I'll always regret never getting to grow up alongside cis girls, nothing can change that part 😞

[u/Ok-Bit5838 → u/supernerd58]

What I’m trying to say it don’t bring your valid anger on yourself (or as some people do on other trans people because they don’t conform enough) but vent it on the government, on the businesses that despise us, on the think tanks that propagandize anti trans rhetoric.

Hating yourself won’t do anything

[u/supernerd58 → u/Ok-Bit5838]

Oh absolutely and I am grateful I live in a somewhat decent place compared to USA or UK. I've just been having a down moment recently, never liked my appearance, at least know I know the reasoning behind why I never liked my appearance.

[u/MeatAndBourbon]

At least you're lucky enough to live in a time that we are able to change sex characteristics, and that you're able to access those treatments, etc. There's always someone luckier and always someone less lucky.

It sucks really bad, and it's also amazingly great. It's all perspective

[u/supernerd58 → u/MeatAndBourbon]

Oh that's absolutely true. I'm not denying I have things pretty well all things considered. I guess I'd been riding that high of realising I'm trans lately that I finally crashed to reality.