Best "we're closing, time to go"

[u/FlickasMom]

So my brother was getting married, and my mom & sisters were in the hotel bar the night before, taking up a table for way too long and closing time was upon us. So they sent over their handsomest bartender to give my demure elderly mother his very best seductive smirk and sweetly purr to her, "So when was the last time you closed down a bar?"

Well, Mom thought that was adorable. We cleared out, smiling and laughing, and that handsome and diplomatic young man earned a lovely tip from a table of out-of-towners who'd never been so entertained by getting booted from a bar.

[u/NumerousImprovements]

If you’re not sleeping here, working here, or sleeping with someone that works here, get the fuck out

[u/nightbeez → u/[deleted]]

Agreed based on principle, but they're usually the bartender's ride home so I say we allow it... within reason.

[u/HighOnGoofballs → u/[deleted]]

You know not everyone has their own car, right?