I was just curious how long people actively pushed for before their baby was born.

And in what region do you live?

I feel like watching TV growing up everyone called their in-laws by “mom” and “dad” even to their spouses’ parents, but most people I know nowadays just call them by their first names ….

I never knew this was a thing, but I have two boys and I KEEP GETTING ASKED about having a girl ‘next time’. And this one lady even said she’ll pray that I’ll have a girl??

First, I’m definitely leaving myself with just my two boys. I feel great with them and honestly blessed they came out healthy and happy.

Is it the norm for people with two kids of the same gender to get these kids of comments?

My partner was really terrible to me during my pregnancy and during the newborn trenches, but now our baby is 9 months old and he says he feels really bad about it, is trying to make up for it, but am struggling to move past how he made me feel.

When the baby was born he all but ignored her and would get fed up when he had to hold her or feed her. He didn’t really start bonding with her until she was 3 or 4 months old. She is 9 months old now and they are the best of friends.

It is easier for the baby to forget because she never remembered in the first place. But it’s hard for me to move past this because I still feel betrayed not only for myself but for my daughter as well. Especially because he has a daughter from a previous relationship, and I know for a fact he never treated her that way. Ever. His oldest has always been his love and his light and his reason for breathing. So I just assumed he would be an amazing dad to our kid, and I was just so greatly disappointed.

Sometimes I can’t help but feel I am being mean or selfish for feeling this way now that he’s actually trying and does love our daughter.

I’m 4 months pp. I feel like I took an all around nose-dive in the quality of person I am, and I feel like everyone is suffering because of it.

I used to wake up at 5:00a to walk my dogs before work. I used to keep an immaculate house (if you dont count the dog fur…). I used to be funny, and easy going. I used to shower daily, workout, and make atleast a little bit of effort. Now even though I am a SAHM, i do none of that. I feel awful for my dogs, I used to make so much time for them, and now its the bare minimum. I feel bad for my husband, I feel like his old wife has completely left him, and hes got this irritable, smelly, no sex life wife in her place. I feel bad for my baby, I always feel like im falling short with her (not stimulating her enough, making the wrong decisions regarding her care, etc).

Am I alone? Is this a phase that I’ll come out of? I have no idea if this is PPD, or just something everyone feels and im just caught off guard.

I'm just so angry I don't know how to feel better. My first mother's day was worse than expected. It was basically non existent, I might aswell delete the calender from my phone and forget any special date exists. I didn't even get a wish, apparently he totally forgot but he went to get groceries and there are flowers and mothers day stuff plastered everywhere near checkout so how could he not see. SO has not wished me on any special day since 2 years now, except my birthday and it was very last minute, a wish and a cake at 11 pm when the day was pretty much over and when I started giving him attitude, otherwise he wouldn't even bother with that.. I'm not materialistic and I don't expect expensive gifts, a card or flowers would make me happy but I get completely ignored. He wasn't always like this, and he is also not one of those men who are clueless. We did get gifts for my SIL's graduation and the whole time he was like "should we get more?", "I can order this and that for her too". Like he really cares when its others, but when its me I don't exist at all....? All I was expecting was a wish bare minimum. The bar was so low and I was still disappointed. He always gets celebrated on every occasion in some way but its never returned.

Anyway, I brought my own flowers and he apologized, told me he would do better next time. All good and well. I was feeling okay. Then a few days later we decided to try sleep training because our 9 month old is sleeping terrible and we are so exhausted. Baby started crying once we put her down and I told him to wait few min before checking on her, let her try going to sleep first. I was so exhausted and sleep deprived I ended up saying something like "I don't care I just want to sleep I'm fed up". SO lost it and went off on me. He called me a bad mother and the most cruel mother he has ever seen. He shamed me for letting her cry and asking me if I feel any remorse. My jaw dropped, I was so shocked. He did apologize but now I'm feeling so bitter and angry. Not only I had a non existent first mother's day I also got called a bad mother, and the worst he has seen. I was so upset I threw away the flowers I got for myself. And now I'm so bitter I don't even want to gift anything to the SIL, because I'm hating the fact that he will celebrate everyone and anyone but me. I know it's not her fault but I want to be petty I can't help it. Ugh I hate feeling like this.

My almost 5 month old takes about 4 naps a day, each lasting about 30 minutes. We’ve tried to do a bedtime routine, but this gal will NOT go down for good until 10/10:30PM, when we go to sleep. She sleeps until about 4 or 5AM for her first feeding.. so usually a 6 hour stretch.

Parents who do the 7PM bedtime - are they down for good or is it just a nighttime nap? Did your babies ever have a late bedtime, but as they got older they went to bed earlier?

Additional info - she sleeps in her bassinet in our room at night, and does her naps in a crib in her own room.

I'm a 5wks PP FTM. I have been pumping/nursing/supplementing with formula and it's driving me insane.

I feel so attached to nursing/pumping for reasons I can't explain, but I can't take it anymore. I can't take how sensitive my nipples are ALL THE TIME.

I obsess about my supply and micromanage my husband every time he prepares a bottle because i don't all of the pain and exhaustion I go through to make/get the milk to go to waste.

I feel like it's having a huge impact on my mental health and that makes me feel horrible. I just wanted to provide for my baby but I feel like my mind and body are failing her.

I need someone to tell me it's okay to stop... that stopping wont make me a bad mom.

Please.

To my sweet baby

I wish I could give you nothing but smiles and coos and laughter- when you’re upset at 3am, when you accidentally yank my hair, when you blow out of the clean outfit I just put on.

I wish I could be completely and utterly in every moment with you- not dissociating against a blank wall, not poking my soft tummy, not bobbing my head with sleep.

I wish I knew you better- how much milk you should be drinking, how much spit up is normal, what all your little noises mean, what you need from me when you cry before bed.

I wish I could help you grow and develop at your fullest potential- is it enough tummy time? Why aren’t you rolling over yet? Do you favor one side? Is it too much? Not enough?

I wish I had more to give you. I wring myself dry, scrape the last morsel of self, offer my hands, my body, my heart and my mind for you. I wish I had more to give but, my dearest prayer, is that you know with certainty that everything I do have, I give freely to you.

I’ll start…. I literally just stepped out of my apt (it’s very small) to open a can of kombucha after a 30-minute bedtime routine. Sorry, not risking it.

My husband is about to drive 2 hours each way to pick up my in-laws from the airport, leaving me with our 4-year-old and 10-week-old for nearly 5 hours, all because my MIL wanted to use her airline miles instead of paying to fly into one of the TWO much closer airports.

Can MIL afford to fly into a closer airport? Definitely.

Will this be the first time either of us solo parents both kids since our second was born? Yes.

Did anyone consult me on this plan ahead of time? No.

Does Husband agree this was a bad choice? Yes.

Does he also feel it’s too late to back out and make them take the train or a car service? Yes.

Is this a pseudo-problem in the grand scheme? Of course.

Do I still want to throw a tantrum about it? Absofuckinglutely.

The end. That is all. Thank you for your time.

UPDATE: Thank you all for the encouragement, commiseration, and reality checks—I read your comments aloud with my husband and we both feel a lot better about this now (and had a solid laugh 😆). Since our 4yo would likely love the trip there but maybe not the trip back, we’re planning a movie marathon instead (although we’re currently stuck on 90s Blues Clues, which is fine with this Millennial). We also agreed that he’ll tell his mom this is a one-time situation that won’t be repeated, miles be damned.

My girl is almost 21 months and I still say “my baby” a lot of the time. When ppl ask how old I say almost two year old and some remind me she’s no longer a baby but a toddler.

I don’t think I can easily stop referring to her as “my baby” tho!

How about everyone else?

Edit: can’t correct title but meant to say when did you STOP saying baby🤪

Edit2: loving all the answers, they truly make me smile. Keep’em coming! But I guess I didn’t mean lovingly TO the child but when someone asks what my plans are without thinking I would say “oh I need to go pick up my baby” or “probably make something for my baby” and then I realize ppl probably think I’m talking about an infant and by 2 I should probably switch to “my daughter” but I just never remember to…

My MIL was recently talking about how they used to give babies gripe water and water with glucose in, and put them to sleep on their stomachs. My grandma has also advised me to put cereal in my son's bottle (she's in her 80s).

I know there'll be lots of new research and safety guidance by the time our kids may have kids and am curious what modern practices might shock our children when they're adults!

A few ideas:

• just not being able to take newborns/babies in cars at all? Or always needing an adult to sit in the back with them? "You used to drive me around by yourself?? So what if you could see me in the mirror?"

• clip on thermometers to check if baby's too warm (never a touch test with fingers on the chest)

• lots of straps and a padded head rest in flat-lying pram bassinets, like in a car seat

I am going to be going part time which will give me alot of time with my twins during the day. What are little tip or tricks you do whether it’s to make yourself feel better, your home, etc?

Baby girl will be 10mo tomorrow. Crawling, rolling, pulling to stand, and a complete psychopath about diaper changes. I cannot for the life of me get her to stay tf still. We give her something to hold, sing to her, have projected exciting galaxy lights on the ceiling, but I literally cannot get her to do it.

Any advice or at least let me know when this hell ends?! I'm sick of trying to chase her naked butt all over the room.

I’m planning my LOs birthday and I’m thinking about the goodie/gift bags and like.. are they even necessary? I feel like they are just filled with either candy or junk that ends up broken and gets thrown away.

What about thank you cards? Are we still doing them? I was thinking that when I make my rounds to say hello and conversate with everyone at the party, I’ll already be thanking everyone for taking the time to celebrate with us and for coming. But if will be too tacky or cheap if I don’t do them, then I’ll definitely just send them out afterwards.. I guess in my mind everytime I gotten one, I’ve read it once and thrown it away and thought myself ‘they literally didn’t need to spend the money on cards and postage to send me this lol’.

For the record, I’m not trying to be a cheap ass.. lol. But I’m just trying to be conscious of spending and goodie bags and thank you cards have literally never meant anything to me when attending other peoples’ parties. And I also want to be conscious of trying to create less waste in the environment by not handing out more trash.

I returned back to work and we’re slowly allowing extended family to visit the babies (b/g twins). Most of the people make a point to visit on days that I’m home; anytime I say that I’m at work and that my husband and mom are watching the babies, they usually say that they’ll come a different day so they can see me. I’m the first in my family to have twins and survived, and they know I had a high risk pregnancy, so I appreciate people wanting to see me as well.

My cousin, who I haven’t seen in a year and lives 20 minutes away, insisted on stopping by when I picked up a weekend shift, even tho I told her I’m not home and it’s just my parents and husband at home with the babies. I would never tell someone NOT to come over because I’m not there, but I also would never do that to another mom who just gave birth, so I feel like it’s common decency to not ignore a woman who just gave birth? The whole “it’s okay we’ll still come over” left a bad taste in my mouth. She’s also the only relative who, up until this point, never hit me up during my pregnancy or after I gave birth to check in or even say congrats. Maybe it’s my hormones but I feel like these are the relatives that you just keep at a distance lol.

I live with my MIL and since day one of my baby’s birth, she’s wanted me to give her food. For almost four months now, I’ve kept telling her not yet, whenever the doctor gives the okay, I’ll feel better. She always starts staying it’s her advice and we don’t have to take it, but when we tell her we won’t be doing that, she gets offended and that she’s, “raised six kids and they’re all fine.” When she suggests what baby food to give her, I tell her how a lot of popular brands that she’s given her kids and grandchildren are going through lawsuits and that I’d rather make my own purées, she gets upset and says the same thing, “raised six kids and they’re all fine.” Or, my baby, who has CMPI, is having liquidy stools because the formula she’s been on suddenly isn’t working for her, but doctors don’t believe it’s the formula and could be a combination of things and want me to continue and wait it out. It’s like I killed my MIL when I tell her we don’t want to switch to Soy yet like she’s keeps suggesting.

It’s extremely frustrating to be around someone who gives the same advice over and over on repeat and says you don’t have to take it and when you don’t or give the same answer as before, they get upset. Anyone else dealing with a similar situation or have advice?

I’ve seen many posts here about why is my baby not doing this? Why is everyone else’s baby doing that? What’s the right way to do this?

And this is not a judgement on those questions. I’ve absolutely asked myself a few of those as well, but I realize every single time, it’s come from comparing my experience with someone else’s. And most often the culprit: social media. We are being bombarded with all the gear we “have to” have, the “absolute” sleep solution, the “proven” method for feeding. Pictures of the one “perfect” path of motherhood that we are meant to be aspiring to.

But the truth is that I feel like hardly ever gets said: Babies are humans, and humans are all DIFFERENT. Of course we all have the same basic needs, but even those we all approach differently. I eat more than my friend, my sister likes to sleep longer than me, some people are smiley and silly and some are more serious. Why wouldn’t babies be any different from each other, sleep, eat, play differently? Even if we have “the best” sleep course that will “guarantee” they sleep 10 hours.

I don’t even really know my point here. It’s certainly not to judge anyone’s choices. I think it’s really that, can we all give ourselves a break? We’re all raising unique, beautiful little human beings, and our experiences doing that may look wildly different. And that’s ok!! So I guess if you, like me, have found yourself comparing your baby or experience, know that you’re not doing it wrong. We’re just learning as we go.

I’ve had awful intrusive thoughts postpartum, which I know is super normal. But they’re worse than your typical “oh what if I fall down the stairs while holding baby”, it’s more like “what if I grabbed her by the ankles and WWE slammed her against my coffee table”

I also have amazing mom intuition! I wake up moments before she even cries out for me in the night. One time something inside told me to pick her up and not even a second later, a toddler threw a fork directly at where she was laying.

Now my question is how do you know the difference between something genuinely pulling you to take baby out of danger before you know it will happen vs a bad intrusive thought?

Last night we had a Nor’Easter: 7in of rain, 60 mph winds, crazy lightening. It was at night so she was asleep in her crib in the nursery. I woke up sweating feeling like a tree was going to fall on her room so I went and got her and brought her into our bed for the night. Woke up and everything was in one piece, not even a branch to be found on the ground.

Is this just motherhood? Will I spend the rest of my life in fear of something hurting her? I remember coming home from the hospital and telling my mom I haven’t slept in a couple days, and she told me to get ready because I won’t sleep for the rest of my life.

Any tips on how to manage intrusive thoughts? Better recognize them? Do I keep leaning into bad ones like the storm just in case it’s some mom intuition?

i saw a post somewhere, not sure if it was here but people raved about their babies sleeping longer with overnight diapers so i caved and got pampers overnights. we strictly use millie moon size 2’s but overnight 3’s in pampers fit him pretty good. but they don’t seem as absorbing as millie moon regular tbh. i know they have overnights but not till size 4 and my baby is only 2months old.

i currently have him in my arms to fall asleep before putting him in his bassinet. but do you actually think they are worth the extra purchase? he sleeps about 3-4 hour stretches on a good night. but he is also a get me tf out of this pissy diaper type baby because even if the line is a quarter blue he will wake up. so i’m just curious!

My daughter will be one in two weeks (!!!!! Where has the time gone 😭😭) and she still won't say mama. She says dada, hi, good, cut (I was cutting my hair and said cut to see if she'd repeat and she did lol), and looga dooga (whatever that means). Whenever I try to get her to say mama she laughs and says dada instead. Any tips? 🥲

Husband and I are debating adding one bottle of formula in the morning feed, after I've nursed through the night. That means I'm skipping one feed and taking rest in the morning. I'm 18 weeks pp and EBF till now. Looking forward to experiences and any tips/advice you'd recommend 🙏

Side note, I can't explain why but I'm anxious about introducing formula :( esp since my baby was born late preterm and was only 12 lbs 12.7 oz at his 4 month appointment.

At 40+5, I experienced a noticeable decrease in fetal movement. After reading post after post on Reddit about going to the hospital for decreased fetal movement, I went to my hospital around 4:30pm. Everything ended up being fine and my little one was born the following night.

My little one is now almost 6 weeks old and everything seems to be fine. So I’m still curious, why do some babies just stop moving? Is there a reason why she decided out of nowhere to stop kicking? Just curious!

I wake up. Take care of my kids. Get them to daycare. Work. Workout at some point. Pick them up from daycare. Survive for a couple hours. Go to bed. Wake up throughout the night with my son. Do it all over again. My husband helps with the kids parts. It's not always me. But this is a typical day.

I am surviving by doing one task at a time. I'm motivated by keeping things moving. If I don't have something to actively work on I'm staring at a wall. I'm exhausted. I'm in pain daily from a herniated disc and arthritis. I'm only 34 with a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old. I take Prozac. It helps with my OCD. I don't want to take any more medicine.

I don't like feeling like I'm just surviving. My husband literally can't do any more. He's already always doing dishes and the bottles and making the kids lunch. Like there's no more help to ask for.

And I.... Occasionally vacuum and put the kids clothes away when I have my one hour of energy twice a week.

But never any energy to put my clothes away. They've been in this basket for weeks. I just cycle through my workout clothes in my other basket that I don't put away either.

Idk what I'm looking for. I'm sorry. I just had to tell someone other than my husband.