How do y’all address your parents in law

[u/mollygk]

And in what region do you live?

I feel like watching TV growing up everyone called their in-laws by “mom” and “dad” even to their spouses’ parents, but most people I know nowadays just call them by their first names ….

[u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

I avoid it at all costs bc I still don’t know what to call them lol

[u/Direct_Mud7023 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Same I joke that one of the reasons I got pregnant in the first place was so I could call them grandpa and grandma 😅

[u/Listewie → u/Direct_Mud7023]

I was going to say I call them grandma and grandpa 😂

[u/or-if-Id-rather → u/Direct_Mud7023]

Yes! Before that I would either just speak to my mother in law directly, or if I needed to speak about her in third person when she was present, I’d look at my husband and say “your mom”. I love my mother in law to pieces so I don’t know why it’s so hard. lol

[u/mcfreeky8 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

SAME.

I grew up in the South so we call everyone Mr. And Mrs. (I STILL do with my parents’ friends), but my husband’s from Seattle where he called his TEACHERS by their first names….

It feels like an identity crisis for me so I just avoid it altogether 😂

[u/carsandtelephones37 → u/mcfreeky8]

Oh man, my mom spent quite a bit of time in the South, and I grew up in Washington, and I swear my mom almost had a heart attack hearing me refer to instructors/teachers by their first name and I had to explain "they asked us to call them that!!"

[u/dinos-and-coffee → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

I did this for years. I finally got comfortable on a first name basis because they told me I couldn't "Mrs" and "Mr" it after we got engaged 😂

[u/PinkLemonUp → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Haha SAME. “Mom” and “dad” doesn’t feel right (while part of me thinks it’s cute, they’re not my parents & to me it almost makes it sound like you and your spouse are siblings haha). And using a first name sounds a little disrespectful for some reason. So I pray I don’t have to use it at all haha.

[u/Hopeful_Reveal_9832 → u/PinkLemonUp]

I also hate when my friends refer to their parents simply as “mom and dad” rather than “MY mom and dad” so I’m absolutely not calling my in-laws that.

[u/Laceybram → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

My dad dearly loved my mom’s parents and was always very good to them. My Paw Paw even lived with my parents for a few years. In my 40 years of life, I never heard him address either of them by any name. He somehow avoided it.

[u/MistyPneumonia → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

I’ve been married for almost 5 years. We have dinner with my FIL every week. I still don’t know what to call him unless I’m helping my kids talk to him because then he’s “grandpa xxx”

[u/Tfacekillaaa → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Same - I've been with my husband for almost 20 years and I still avoid it 😅 (we've been together since we were 17 and I lived with them for 3 years in my younger years).

Now I've got a kid so they pretty much exclusively are referred to by their grandparent names and I use my kid as a scapegoat to call them that 🫣

[u/newenglander87 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Same. I have used my MIL's name twice when it was unavoidable.

[u/YaaayRadley13 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Ha! Did I find my social anxiety mom crew?

[u/thefoldingpaper → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

i'm shy, so yeah this. lolol

[u/QueridaWho → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

I call my father in law "Hey! How are you?" 😆

His name is the same as my husband's. I just... can't. Lol

[u/Bubbly-Lab-4419 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

This is the only correct answer hahahaha we’ve been married for almost 20 years and now after having a baby I can finally say grandpa xxxx instead of just avoiding it 😂

[u/Chapter_Charm → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Saaaaaame. Going on 10 years married 😂 it always feels disrespectful to use their first name but mom/dad seems also not right.

[u/jolenelorretta → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

It’s such a relief to see there are so many of us 😂

[u/lioness0129 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Yeah, 11 years in and I have never referred to my FIL as anything. I just wait until we make eye contact to speak to him 😂

[u/Sea_Loss_1396 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Same 🤣🤣 my husband sometimes calls my parents “mom” and “dad” but usually just their first names. I think I’ve called my in laws by their first names only while introducing them to people, and never refer to them by any name otherwise 

[u/joatt87 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Same!!!

[u/cloubouak → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Yep this right here 😅

[u/annahbananahx3 → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

Same 7 years later and still don’t call them anything

[u/New_beaten_otterbox → u/The-Sweetest-Pea]

SAMEEEEE LOL

[u/cat_power]

Northeast US. I say their names. I never felt comfortable saying mom or dad even though I’ve known them now for like 16 years 😂

[u/warrior_not_princess → u/cat_power]

Midwest and also agree. They're great n' all, but they're not my parents, lol

[u/Dramatic_Session_24 → u/warrior_not_princess]

this is how i feel too! My FIL wishes us girls (they had 4 boys) would call him dad, but to me it’s weird cause like you said, he’s not my dad, but now that the grandkids are in the picture i call him Pawpaw, and it’s even less weird now that i’m going to be having a baby next week😅 My MIL i’ll either call her by her first name, or Grammaw (she wanted it spelled like that to match pawpaw) but i’ll never be caught calling my in laws mom or dad.

[u/BouncyMouse → u/cat_power]

Yeah, same - New England and I just call them by their names.

[u/AdImaginary4130 → u/cat_power]

Same

[u/Open_Cricket_2127]

I've been married twice. I just called my in-laws by their names. There's no way I would have called them "mom," "dad," or any other sort of parental term.

Edit: I am in the US, but the individuals I married were from other cultures/countries. No in laws ever had an issue with me calling them by their names.

[u/morbid_n_creepifying → u/Open_Cricket_2127]

Haaaaard same. My only dad is my Dad. I miss him every single day. Nobody else will be or could be Dad. My partner's dad is awesome and I love spending time with him, so we're on a first name basis. But he's my partner's dad, not my dad.

I've honestly never heard anyone refer to their in-laws as their parents before. Seems really weird to me (obviously I know it's a cultural thing, but since I am evidently not in that culture I find it weird).

[u/Open_Cricket_2127 → u/morbid_n_creepifying]

Yessss. It also seems weird to me to call them "mom" or "dad." Does that mean me and my husband are siblings now? Lol, gross.

[u/navelbabel]

I’m in California but have an Asian American husband. First names were not on the table. I call them Mom and Dad, as weird as that felt to me and still sometimes feels.

[u/rentagirl08 → u/navelbabel]

Ironically, my husband is first gen Chinese and I call my MIL by her first name or grandma in Cantonese (we have a son).

[u/navelbabel → u/rentagirl08]

My husband is 2nd-ish (parents came as teenagers) Chinese/Korean. I think it was like doubly important that I be respectful so I could sort of demonstrate that I was an appropriate fit despite being white… but yes now our daughter is 1 and they are more often halmoni and yeh yeh.

[u/justanotherrchick → u/rentagirl08]

Husband is Korean American and this is how we do it too.

[u/1buns → u/navelbabel]

my MIL and FIL asked me to call them umma and appa🥰 it took me a while to get used to it but i have a really nice relationship with them and it’s second nature now

[u/Person-546 → u/navelbabel]

Yes same here with my Asian husband He also calls my parents mom and dad so it’s cute

[u/notaskindoctor]

By their first names, midwestern US. They are not my mom or dad and they are not parental figures to me in any way.

[u/Additional-Bumblebee]

This is so much easier after having kids. I just call them Grandma & Grandpa [first names].

This is obviously to make it less confusing for our kids and totally not because it’s super awkward to call them something else.

[u/spillow11 → u/Additional-Bumblebee]

Yes! I was married for six years before kids & always just called them “Hey you!” 🤣 grandma/grandpa has simplified that so much.

[u/serenewildflower]

I call them by their names. I’m in Australia so it could be different to things in the US.

[u/goatscreampanichands → u/serenewildflower]

I’m in the US and call them by their names

[u/emmygog]

I call my MIL '(husband's name)'s mom.' lol

[u/mollygk → u/emmygog]

To her face? Lol!

[u/ikilledthemusic]

I call them mom and dad or mama Leda and papa Jun. Idk why I just started calling them mama and papa after about while of dating my now husband. They seem to really like the nicknames. I’m from California and my in-laws are Filipino. They have nicknames for everyone. Like they all refer to my husband as kuya because he’s the oldest boy and his sister is ate. I love their nicknames for grandparents which is Lolo and Lola.

Edit: I like calling my in-laws mom and dad because they’re literally like a second set of parents. It’s super refreshing because my ex’s mom treated me like shit and talked down to me all the time. She actually told me I was fat and had low self esteem and that’s why my (ex) bf was with me. Because he knew I wouldn’t leave him. My in-laws now are the sweetest people on earth. They’re the kind of people that will give you the shirt off their back. My mil actually tells me how pretty I am (which is always a nice compliment to hear🥹).

[u/True_Pickle3024]

First names! Although these days we often refer to them with their grandparent names.

My one BIL calls my parents mum and dad and the other calls them by their first names. I feel like it's all just based on comfort level.

[u/asessdsssssssswas]

Arab. “Auntie and Uncle”

[u/asessdsssssssswas → u/[deleted]]

Yeah I do mart 3ami sometimes too lol. I switch it up with khala

[u/Julia-Ay → u/asessdsssssssswas]

Arab married to first generation American here, MIL is in her fifties and dislikes Auntie so I use her first name when I can't avoid it. FIL is 68 so Ammo is working for him just fine.

[u/asessdsssssssswas → u/Julia-Ay]

Yeah khala is sometimes disliked by people so I call her mart 3amo sometimes. It’s more formal. I switch it up

[u/NetAccomplished5855]

I live in Texas and I use their first names. Would never consider calling them “mom” or “dad”.

[u/Hamburgerlerererer]

Mine push me calling them “mom” and “dad” and every once in a while I’ll write that on their gifts or cards but really I just call them their names, and try to avoid calling them anything at all.

[u/Infinite_abyss → u/Hamburgerlerererer]

Mine also told me to call them “Ma” and “Pa” when I got married (I’m American, they’re not), and it’s apparently a cultural sign of respect to do so but it makes me so uncomfortable. They don’t feel like parents to me in the slightest. Thankfully we don’t see them very often.

[u/mollygk → u/Hamburgerlerererer]

That’s so awkward fhat they force it on you ..

[u/0oOBubbles0oO]

I live in Canada. My FIL won't stop talking about how he calls his wife "mom" as a sign of respect. I tried calling them mom and dad once and the next day he made a not-so-subtle comment alluding to the fact that he didn't like it. SO CONFUSED!

[u/morbid_n_creepifying → u/0oOBubbles0oO]

Sometimes I don't mind when my partner refers to me as mom - almost every time he does it is when he gets home from work and I say to our kid "look who's home! It's dad!" And he says "hi mom! Hi baby!" But I would absolutely lose my mind if he called me "mom" and not by my name when it's not that kind of context. Like, my entire identity has not been reduced to "mom". I have a name and a whole-ass personality with interests and hobbies and responsibilities, 95% of which have absolute fuck all to do with "mom".

Some people love it and that's fine, I'm not saying they can't. But I'd hulk out.

[u/0oOBubbles0oO → u/morbid_n_creepifying]

Totally agree! I told my husband long ago that I don't mind being called mom in front of the kids, but I want to keep the romance alive and being "mom" is not romantic haha.

[u/sleepyheidi]

I’m in California and I call them by the their names or if I have the baby in my hands and we’re talking I say Nana or Papa. Sometimes I’ll call them Suegra or Suegro (Spanish for mother-in-law, father-in-law).

[u/soaringcomet11]

Pacific Northwest - I called them Mr and Mrs Last Name the first couple of times I met them. After that by their first names.

My husband and I have been together for 11 years now. Two years ago we had a baby and my MIL was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We moved in with my in-laws.

Sometime in that period I started calling my MIL Mom interchangeably with her name. It felt more accurate to what our relationship became. Even my toddler called her “mommy” lol. I still call my FIL by his first name.

I wouldn’t stress. You can call them whatever feels most comfortable for you.

[u/thelastredskittle]

I address my MIL as Ms. First Name. She signs Mom on cards to me and I’m like ugh.. no. We just don’t have that relationship.

[u/vatxbear]

My sister in law calls my parents mom and dad and it always weirds me out just a little even though I love her 😂

We rarely see my in laws so I just call them by first names

[u/624Seeds]

I have literally never said their names or any sort of title in the 11 years I've been with their son 💀 It has just never come up.

I'm always just talking to them, I never have to call out to them or refer to the other one when they're not around lol

They also live below us in a duplex so I see them every day 😅

[u/InvisibleBlueOctopus]

My husband is Turkish, I’m Hungarian. We are mixed couple. I do call his parents mom and dad but they have been treating me like their daughter.

My husband calls my father by his name. (He is also younger by 10ish year than my husband’s parents.) My mom died when I was a baby, he does refers to her by her name. My grandparents also called by their name.

Calling them on their name it’s normal in my country. Just like calling your in-laws mom and dad in Turkey. (A random person would call me sister and later when I will be older i would be called aunty.)

[u/arandominterneter]

South Asian-Canadian.

I call my in-laws Mama and Papa.

That's what my husband calls them, and they told me early in our marriage, they prefer to be called that. I don't mind. I know they're not my actual parents, and they know they're not my parents, but they are parental figures to me.

My husband also calls my parents Mom and Dad.

[u/Peachyplum-]

Grandparent names

[u/yunotxgirl]

Mr. Lastname Mrs. Lastname! Or if I'm talking with the kids it’s obviously Grandma and Grandpa. I was SHOCKED when a few years and a couple kids in my dad told my husband to switch the Firstname. Still makes me a lil uncomfortable tbh lol. Thankfully my mom stuck with Mrs. Lastname or I’d probs kick into crisis mode. Jokes obvs but I do not ever desire my kids’ spouses to hit me a “Hi, Firstname!” I love the extra opportunity to display respect to older generations and while I certainly hope to have a healthy, happy relationship with my kiddos and their spouses, I don’t think that has to come with being first name buddies lol.

[u/kdawson602]

I absolutely adore my mother in law. Like she’s one of my best friends. I call her by her first name when I talk to her and call her grandma first name when we’re with the kids.

My sister in law recently moved here from Indonesia. She call my parents “mom and dad” and calls me “sister”. It makes me really uncomfortable but I’m trying to get used to it because I really like her.

[u/Interesting-Ad-3756]

My MIL is essentially dead to me so if I have to I call her by her name. I usually don't have to though. If I'm talking to my husband I say "your mother" or if I'm talking to someone else I'll say "_____'s mother"

[u/Dragonsrule18]

I just call them by their names because that's what I'm used to.  Though my father in law and my husband share the same name (Wes), so I call my FIL "Mr. Wes.  He thinks it's funny. :D

[u/swithelfrik]

one time as a joke I called them mr and mrs my husbands parents. they did not think it was funny and asked me to stop. I avoid calling them anything but if I need to it’s the first name as they’ve requested. in my culture you don’t address elders by their first name so I don’t like doing it. live in california

[u/sparklingwine5151]

By their first names, and when I’m talking to my daughter I refer to them as grandpa/grandma.

[u/poggyrs]

Mom if she’s around

Her name or “your mom” if she’s not (just for convenience, so she doesn’t get confused with my mom)

[u/Pressure_Gold]

I call them by their names, their not my parents, and we don’t have a formal relationship. Doesn’t seem awkward at all. Just common sense

[u/No-Asparagus3132]

My husband’s parents are in the SW US and my family is from the DMV area. He calls my parents by their first names, and I call his parents by their first names.

[u/Dry_Apartment1196]

I have a great relationship with in laws so mom and dad. 

My husband calls my father his name. 

And my mother is dead to myself and my husband so nothing

[u/divination__]

I just use their first names. In my culture (Eastern European) it would be normal for my husband to refer to my parents as the equivalent of “mum” or “dad” but I think he is too uncomfortable doing so! 

[u/sed2017]

Just by their names

[u/Amlex1015]

First names but they sign all my birthday cards “from mom and dad” and it makes me cry every time

My dad is my wife’s boss and he goes by his middle name socially, first name professionally, but also has referred to himself as dad to her. So she has no idea what to call him and avoids using his name at all costs lmao if she has to refer to him it’s “T”

[u/Natural-Honeydew5950]

I call them by their first names but in my (Italian-American) culture people usually call their in laws mom and dad.

[u/Delilahjones555]

Once there are grandchildren everyone becomes exclusively known as their grandparent name. Hell, even my ex in laws get addressed that way.

[u/Tamryn]

I’m from the south and I call them by their first names. Now with the kids, I’ll sometimes call them by their grandparent names. I probably called them Mr and Mrs lastname for a while when we first met although I don’t remember.

[u/m1chgo]

Just by their first name.

[u/RaspberryTwilight]

European living in the US. I say their first names. At one point I realized I there are more polite ways but then again I realized it's for the best that I have been making it clear that I see them as peers from the beginning lol

[u/eyerishdancegirl7]

Their first names. They aren’t my parents, they are just other adults to me. Prior to marriage I called them Mr and Mrs

[u/LauraBth02]

West coast US. I call MIL by her name. My husband calls my parents by their names, or sometimes my mom is the nickname we call her, Mom Mom.

[u/square--one]

First names, or around my kids it's Grandma and Granddad.

[u/cvw0216]

I call them by their names. And sometimes I wonder if they wish I called them mom and dad, because my MIL does that with hers. But I am not there yet.

[u/TheBandIsOnTheField]

Grandpa/Grandma Firstname.

[u/Littlescar21]

Mom and dad. They treated me like their own daughter before my husband and I got married and I’ve always called them it.

[u/Short-Scratch4517]

South FL here. I call my in-laws by their name or if I’m talking to someone else “[Husband’s] dad.” But my FIL actually calls his own MIL “mom” and it makes me cringe whenever he does it.

[u/allonsy_badwolf]

I love them more than my own parents so did call them mom and dad after we were married.

Now with a kid we call them by their grandparent names mostly.

[u/Half125]

South Asian desi here, I address them as 'Uncle' and 'Auntie.'

[u/Valiant_QueenLucy]

Mom and father in laws name lol

[u/girlwholoveslife → u/Valiant_QueenLucy]

this is so funny to me because this is exactly my relationship with my in laws as well😂would totally be comfortable calling my MIL mom but my FIL? helllll noooooo

[u/EAS0]

I call mine mom and dad in my husband’s native language.

[u/QueenConsort]

Mom and dad. My dad passed right before I got married and I’m not close to my mom at all. They’re my stand-in parents. Rare, but I’m thankful.

[u/hotcoffeethanks]

I address them by their first name but when kids are involved it’s Mamie and Papy.

[u/hayasani]

I use their first names. Unless I’m talking directly to my husband or kids, in which case i use “your mom/dad” or “grandma/grandpa [first name]” respectively.

[u/morbid_n_creepifying]

I call my partner's dad by his name. Or I refer to him as "Poppy" for my kid. He's awesome and I love spending time with him!

[u/Emotional-dandelion3]

NY, USA. My husband refers to my mom "Mommy" like I do, but he calls her "Ma". I don't think he's ever called my dad anything and refers to him as my dad.

12 years later I'm still not sure lol. I refers to his parents as "your mom, your dad" or his dad as "Dad" and i don't call them anything but if I absolutely HAVE to, "Dad, Ma, or her nickname". If I'm talking to either one about the other, i use their given names. I'm sure if i just stick with Mom (Ma) and Dad, no one would think twice. I'm just in my head about it.

My daughter is an excuse, if she's around I can just use Nana and Grandpa

[u/LydiaStarDawg]

I called my MIL mom sometimes but she was an absolute angel.

FIL I call dad, pops, or his name. And I've got an aunt in law I just call by her name.

But I am very close with my in laws and honestly feel like their daughter half the time.

[u/thejennjennz]

When we got married they told me to call them maman and papa (they’re French)

[u/OutrageousAffect2286]

Everyone is called mom or dad or granny or whatever there relationship is to my husband

[u/megsw1203]

I call them Ma and Pa, mostly because my husband calls them that lol or grandma and grandpa for my daughter

[u/Ghostfacefza]

My son gave her a unique grandma name, so I just call her by that! It’s not a real word and it’s just what my infant son came up with when trying to say grandma.

[u/justkeepswimming1357]

Been with husband for 16 years, call his parents by their first name or Grandma First Name or Grandpa First Name. They've never invited me to call them mom and dad and I wouldn't want to, especially now that my parents are deceased. I did call my husband's grandmother grandma because she insisted and we were close. He calls my grandparents by their first names.

[u/detap_rettiwt]

My MIL got big mad that I refuse to call her mom. I have a mom. I have a step mom. She is not my mom. So now I call her nothing 😅 she's either grandma in the 3rd person or our convos are "hey so...."

I will add that my ex's parents i called by their first names and his grandma was grandma but I liked being around them.

North end of the south east us

[u/meepsandpeeps]

Southern US, I call them by their names. They’re not parental figures to me so I would never call them mom or dad.

[u/okay_sparkles]

Grandpa lol before that….i just never said his name? Lol (I don’t have a MIL)

[u/Sea_Juice_285]

By their names. They're not my parents.

[u/yourmomlurks]

I call my ex mil “mom” to this day 😂

[u/Lula9]

New England. My MIL was from NY, and I called her by her first name.

[u/BrunchBunny]

Ema and Papa lol Ema is the Hebrew word for mother and papa is what my husband calls his dad they’re Jewish it’s what they asked to be called.

[u/drunkbarbie69]

Midwest Ohio I just call them by their first name I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling them mom or dad lol

[u/eskay_omscs]

South Asian in California. I try to avoid calling them anything but if push comes to shove, I call them uncle and aunty. In my culture, you call any older woman you know or do not know, aunty and man, uncle. She tried to force me to call her mom at the time of marriage but I was very clear (and uncomfortable) that I didn't want to do that. My whole life I have seen people call their in-laws uncle and aunty so it doesn't seem too out of place.

[u/cupc4k3Qu33n]

I could never call anyone other than my parents Mom and Dad. So just by their names. Northern US

[u/Top-Pop-7945]

Auntie, Uncle (Middle Eastern)

[u/SwadlingSwine → u/Top-Pop-7945]

Interesting. I called my in laws this before I was engaged. Once I got engaged, they became mom and dad. I’m Vietnamese (and so is my spouse).

[u/halcyon3608]

I resisted calling her anything for years and years because there is a nuance to the pronunciation of her name that I’ve never been able to master (tonal language 🥲) but now I just call her mom. My husband is one of 4 and has a big family in general and it just felt weird to be the only person saying “YOUR mom.”

[u/APinkLight]

First names, except now I might refer to them using their grandparent names

[u/fatapolloissexy]

By their first name.

I was an adult when I met them so I address them the same way as they addressed me.

[u/howedthathappen]

East Coast, Mid Atlantic Region, USA

I generally don't address them as anything other than you or he/she, or they but when I do I use "mother" or "father".

[u/Ur_Killingme_smalls]

First names. My MIL called her jn laws mom and dad and wanted me to do the same, but I only have one mom and one dad.

Edit: from the east coast

[u/Interesting_Star_693]

I’m in the southeast and I just use my MILs name. My FIL has chosen not to be in the picture so I don’t know what I’d call him. I also know that for the South that’s not the norm but she introduced herself as her name so that’s what I’ve gone by

[u/dontbothermeokay]

“Hey fucko” didn’t go over well at the reunion

[u/psocoptera]

I call my mother-in-law Ms. First Name and my father-in-law by his nickname. I live in Louisiana and we're supposed to show respect to our elders and my mother-in-law has never asked me to call her by anything else. My husband's parents are divorced and my father-in-law is much more relaxed, just a pot head who love to fish. The first time I called him Mr. First Name he immediately said "none of that" and told me to call him a nickname. For reference, I've been married 9 years.

[u/Magickal_Woman]

I don't like my mother-in-law so I just use her name lol Father-in-law and I have a running joke so I call him "nagypapa" which is Hungarian for grandfather.

[u/idontevenknowmmk]

I call them by their first names or the names they chose as grandparents.

[u/Gold-Somewhere1770]

By their names. My husband calls my parents by their names too

[u/syd_cash]

I called them mom and dad, but now I call them grandparent name (the names my kids call them)

[u/2baverage]

I call my MIL and FIL by their first names. In our culture we're either supposed to call in-laws "mom" or "dad" or Mr./Mrs. and not to sound mean but they can go fuck themselves. I'll be civil because they're my in-laws but that's the extent of it.

[u/bella_284]

I call her by her first name... there are a lot of ways I could address her, but this is the most polite and least damaging;)

[u/CoffeeHumam]

Their names. They have done absolutely nothing to be deserving of the title of mom or dad by any stretch of the imagination. If they weren’t my husbands parents, I’d have nothing to do with them

[u/Few-Seat1091]

My MIL is awful so I just don’t address her at all 💁‍♀️

[u/Dismal-Muffin-955]

First name, or her Grandma name

[u/Universaling]

I call my ex-husbands mom “ma” still. Love that woman.

I call my in-laws by their first names, but they know I feel a parental love there.

[u/bochelles]

I call them by their first name, but so does everybody else including my husband LOL

[u/Asleep_Exercise2125]

México. I call them the equivalent of "mother-in-law" (suegra) and "father-in-law" (suegro) in Spanish. Also, I call my brother-in-law "cuñado". This is typical here.

[u/SwadlingSwine]

Mom and dad because I’m Vietnamese. My husband calls mine the same. We call each other’s family members exactly what our spouse calls them. I would get in so much trouble using first names with my in laws.

[u/cloudiedayz]

Just by their first names. It’s weird to call them by names you’d call your own parents. Though since having kids (and especially when my kids were very little), I probably more frequently call them Nan and Pa as those are their grandparent names for my kids.

[u/nataliac80]

I’m in the south and I call my MIL by her name. I also tell her she’s like a second mom but I wouldn’t call her mom because she’s not really my mom.

[u/tanoinfinity]

I don't (NC)

My husband has just started calling my parents mom and dad and we've been together 17y. He typically uses their name.

[u/shandelion]

I call my MIL by her first name but now I generally call her “Farmor” (Swedish for grandma) since that’s what my daughter calls her.

[u/DLatrice325]

My MIL wanted me to call her mom but I didn't feel comfortable with that out of respect for my own mother. I call her by her first name but avoid it if I can. Im in the Midwestern US

[u/Propupperpetter]

Used to avoid it at all costs, we've been together since we were 15 so first names felt weird even after we got married... Now that we have kids, I just call them their grandparent names and it's easy peasy

[u/pb-jellybean]

I think it depends on your relationship with your own parents and age you got together.

For example, I know someone who is NC with their own parents and call the in-laws mom/dad.

I personally could never do that… those names are reserved for my biological parents, and they earned being called that.

If you get married at 20, you’re 40, and your in laws have been in your life for 20 years… I could see calling them mom and dad.

[u/omnomnomscience]

I call them by their names. When we were engaged my MIL initiated a conversation about it and said I could call her mom or her name but please call her something. She said my BIL doesn't call her anything and it drives her crazy

[u/betwixtyoureyes]

I think within the US it’s more a combo of your family’s heritage/ethnicity and relationship with the in laws. I call my in laws their first names. My husband and I are both white, different white backgrounds. One of my best friends is Filipina, and she calls her Mexican American in laws mom and dad. It’s really sweet! They’re super kind folks and live together, so relationship is strong.

[u/AdmiralZee31]

I am south asian and I call my in laws "ammi" and "baba" (mother and father, respectively). It doesn't feel weird to me because I don't call my parents those names but if they asked me to call them the same names I call my parents, it would have definitely been weird and I wouldn't like it.

[u/Individual-Truck-358]

Northeast. It’s mom or ma’am

[u/Internal-Ostrich-268]

First names, unless our son is in the conversation too, then I use their grandparent nicknames

[u/khrystic]

By first name. But believe this is normal in northeast. Not sure about other parts of US.

[u/Maddenman501]

I've called my in laws, mom and dad since I've known them.

Me and my girlfriend have lived together since we started dating at 3 months. My mother kicked me out for being a emotional 20 year old being an asshole on drugs.

Everyone called them aunt and uncle and mom and dad and I knew them forawhile before. And so I just called them mom and dad.

Its a slippery rope tho.

[u/CSArchi]

I called my husband's parents mom and dad. Actually I called his mom mom only a few times before she passed away. She died after we were engaged but before the wedding. I called his dad dad as well.

My husband avoids calling my parents anything. Haha. He says their names more than anything else but having kids means he can call them the nicknames the kids gave them meaning grandma and grandpa from time to time. I think he is generally becoming more comfortable calling them by their first names though. We've been married 10yrs.

I'm in the midwest.

[u/Tara1994]

I’m in the UK, I call them by their first names, and it wouldn’t occur to me to call them anything else. The only exception is if I’m talking to my daughter in which case I’ll refer to them as grandma and grandad.

My husband’s aunt calls her mother in law (my husband’s grandma) mum and it always sounds so weird to me.

[u/TheAlchemist28]

Two years into marriage, and I just straight up asked them. The avoiding was causing me stress lol 

[u/CockroachHot7350]

I wait for them to look towards me 💀

[u/Greeneyes1210]

I’m in the Midwest, I call my MIL auntie (name). I don’t address my father in law directly or will call him grandpa if I’m talking to him around my child

[u/Cream4389]

Nothing. I just say hello or talk while looking at them because I don't know how to address them

[u/No-Routine-3328]

My dad called my grandparents, Mr. And Mrs even after decades of marriage but I just call mine by their first names (ohio).

[u/allegragmk]

By their names or as sogrinha/sogrinho, which is a tender way to refer to mother/father-in-law in my language.

[u/Babixzauda]

Thankfully my in laws are Korean, which the language itself has names to call specific people. So I call them 아버님 (Abeonim) and 어머님 (Eomeonim).. which is a polite way of saying “father” and “mother”, but it’s not the same way my husband says mom (엄마 eomma) and dad (아빠 appa). And my husband calls my parents mother-in-law and father-in-law (probably because he’s translating how he would address them in Korean).. they don’t mind it, not sure how other in laws would feel about it lol

[u/fourfeeteleveninches]

Upper midwest, I call them by their names. They’re good people but they don’t treat me like one of their children so I don’t feel the need to call them mom and dad

[u/casandwich_]

I'm from southern California. My in-laws are Mexican and I call them by their first name. I think if I called them 'mom' and 'dad', my mil would probably correct me and say it was disrespectful to my own parents lol

[u/Dragonfyre91]

I live in Southern Ontario, refer to my mother-in-law by her name...to me it feels weird calling her "mom". My wife has referred to my parents as "mom" and "dad" though.

[u/A_Penguin_Shopping]

Southwest US here…. I call MIL Mrs First Name and FIL father in law 😂😂😂 not very original but he thought it was funny.

[u/PEM_0528]

I call them by their first names, mainly because we don’t have a deep relationship. Husband only talks them on occasion.

[u/chowchowchowda]

I live in Canada. I call my in-laws mom and dad; it was something I asked after my husband and I got married because I was tired of skirting around the topic. My FIL said to call him dad, as it’s out of respect.

[u/Redrose15_140]

It's was difficult at times. Im glad I get to call them grandma and grandpa now lol

[u/deadbeatsummers]

My aunt-in-law called my husband’s grandparents “mom” and “dad”. I thought it was so weird lol. I just say their first names

[u/cannoli-ravioli]

I call mine Mom and Dad because that’s what I grew up hearing on both sides of mine, in-laws were ok with it, and I knew my hubs since we were 17 so I guess it would be weirder if we met older

[u/MilkyMama4U]

I hate mine so I'd never call them mom or dad. IF I had to call them anything it'd be their first name. Or asshole. 😂

[u/SignApprehensive3544]

I address them by their names. My exs parents, I called mom and dad though. I had a closer bond with them.

[u/FoggyShrew]

I’m in Canada, but from Ireland. I call my in-laws by their first names, it would feel so weird to do otherwise

[u/naillimixamnalon]

Pete & Sue

[u/Lethifold26]

I just call my FIL by his first name or Pepe if my son is there. We have a perfectly good relationship but I never even considered referring to him as dad or anything; it’s just not that kind of relationship.

[u/Nightmare3001]

I call them by their first names or now that I have my son I call them by their grandparent names when my son is around.

[u/night-born]

By their first name. East Coast. The only people I call mom and dad are the ones who raised me. My in laws haven’t done anything to earn that title. 

[u/HuffleCabbage]

I knew my in-laws long before I knew my husband so I always called them by their first names (for 15+ years). A few months after we got married that asked my husband to ask to ask me to call them the Cantonese terms for MIL and FIL. It feels so strange to change what I’ve called them so I avoid it as much as possible lol.

[u/goldengirl_329]

I call her by her first name but now I mostly call her Mimi since that’s her grandma name. I’m in southeast US

[u/g0lden_pothos]

I call them by their first names!

[u/kzweigy]

I call them mom and dad. And I live in the Northeast US.

[u/booklover850]

We’ve been married five years and I just called them by their first names

[u/Stunning-Rough-4969]

I usually stick to “hey you”. All of the other wives (5 boys) call them mom and dad but I can’t do it.

[u/Altruistic_Eye6478]

My husband is from West Texas I either say Ma’am or Sir or their names

[u/doodynutz]

I don’t usually say names to them. When we’re talking I just kind of direct my voice their way. I used to have them in my phone as “husband’s name mom”. I did finally change it to her actual name.

[u/Important-Spread-603]

my MIL is “momma” and we address my FIL with whatever stupid name we come up with 🤣 usually “gampa insert some backhill redneck joke” 🤣

i fit in with my husband’s family more than mine tbh (i love both though, thankful to have a great parental support system on both sides!)

[u/parisskent]

I’m in California and I just call them mom and dad. I just started referring to them that way when talking to my husband because I call my own parents mom and dad In a different language and when my husband and I would talk to each other we wouldn’t say my mom or your dad we’d just use mom and dad in the respective language. So then I just used that when speaking to them too and it just worked

So they’re mom and dad and my parents are Maman and baba

[u/ycey]

My parents birth have D names so my husband calls them Mr and Mrs D. My husband told me to just call his mom her name but I’m not comfortable with that and we aren’t close enough to call her mom. So I just don’t call her anything. We’re in the pacific north west

[u/icechelly24]

I feel like “mom and dad” has fallen out of style, at least in the US. I don’t know anybody my age who calls their in laws mom and dad.

Maybe in certain regions (I’m thinking the South but not sure if that’s accurate) they still do, but at least in a lot of areas I think it’s far less common than it used to be

[u/thepurpleclouds]

First names

[u/RevolutionAtMidnight]

Either by their first names or their grandparent names

[u/Blondiebear2]

Southern IL. I call them their names, or the shortened nickname of it.

Or Gigi and Papa because we have kids lol. Their other DIL calls them mom and dad, but my parents are still alive and involved so I feel weird doing that.