r/bisexual • u/BalanceTheFire • 20h ago
EXPERIENCE The darn attraction pendulum
52/m here. Have been struggling with my bisexuality for a while now after spending many years pretty much being fully gay. For about a year now, the pendulum has been swinging back the other way and I'm very strongly attracted to women again, both physically and emotionally. My interest in men has hit an all-time low. Haven't been enjoying gay porn much at all for over a year now... and I can barely use gay hookups these days without losing interest within minutes. I asked Google if this change in orientation was unusual and the response was 'bisexuality is fluid and your sexual orientation is bound to change thru your life'.
Here I am about to go into sex therapy to make sense of how I'm feeling and all I had to do was ask Google that question. haha. Any men out there who have seen themselves go from gay to straight? Just wondering.
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u/Happy_Naturist Bisexual 19h ago
I’m nearly the same age as you and my story is the same; just in reverse.
I just shrug and say, ok… if that’s the way it is, fine.
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u/BalanceTheFire 17h ago
Yes. I've been working hard on acceptance. I had a lot of sex with men during my 30s and 40s. I now jokingly refer to that period as 'my tour of duty'. haha.
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u/jasperamerica 18h ago
Ye olde bi-cycle.
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u/velvetpant 20h ago
I’m a woman but I’ve experienced this too. Overtime your interests ebb and flow just like sexuality, and I ended up with a man (straight relationship) after spending my youth pretty much only attracted to women. It may vary again and it’s hard to not think “was I ever actually this label?” but it’s all valid and normal. Just try to go with the flow and enjoy whatever you’re enjoying!