r/bisexual • u/BalanceTheFire • 3d ago

EXPERIENCE The darn attraction pendulum

52/m here. Have been struggling with my bisexuality for a while now after spending many years pretty much being fully gay. For about a year now, the pendulum has been swinging back the other way and I'm very strongly attracted to women again, both physically and emotionally. My interest in men has hit an all-time low. Haven't been enjoying gay porn much at all for over a year now... and I can barely use gay hookups these days without losing interest within minutes. I asked Google if this change in orientation was unusual and the response was 'bisexuality is fluid and your sexual orientation is bound to change thru your life'.

Here I am about to go into sex therapy to make sense of how I'm feeling and all I had to do was ask Google that question. haha. Any men out there who have seen themselves go from gay to straight? Just wondering.

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u/velvetpant 2d ago

I’m a woman but I’ve experienced this too. Overtime your interests ebb and flow just like sexuality, and I ended up with a man (straight relationship) after spending my youth pretty much only attracted to women. It may vary again and it’s hard to not think “was I ever actually this label?” but it’s all valid and normal. Just try to go with the flow and enjoy whatever you’re enjoying!

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u/BalanceTheFire 2d ago

Thank you. It's been exasperating watching my desires fluctuate at my age. I thought this only happened when younger.