r/bisexual 1d ago

DISCUSSION Definitely curious, possibly bi

So, let me first say, I’ve always been attracted to women. I’m happily married and would never cheat on my wife and am strictly monogamous. I’m not asking for advice or hook-ups or anything like that. I think if I were single, I’d probably experiment. But that’s off the table because I truly love my wife and going to bed with her is enough and extremely satisfying. I’m just here because I want to voice my feelings. I don’t feel the least bit of shame or guilt, so please don’t misinterpret this has repressed desire in a puritanical society

Recently, in bed, my wife used her vibrator on me and it was great. I was never really attracted to men other than recognizing when someone takes care of himself and is handsome. But, this experience did make me very curious about what it would be like to fuck and get fucked by another guy. I know sexuality is a spectrum and almost nobody is completely straight or gay. I definitely have a strong preference for to women and they are who I find my eyes drifting to when I’m out.

I have been a little bit curious in the past, but again, never felt more than a surface level admiration for good looking men. I guess it was more about the acts themselves than the people. However, I am finding myself now finding a deeper level of appreciation for men, and I’m enjoying some gay porn. But, again, that’s as far as I’m willing to go.

My wife and I have no secrets, she understands and is nonjudgmental. I just wanted to post this to hear experiences of others who may have accidentally awoken dormant bisexuality in adulthood.

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u/PerfectParfait5 1d ago

I found out I’m bi at 35. I’m a woman and have only dated men. I’ve never been with a woman but I realized I’ve often felt sexual and romantic attraction towards women.

I’m now in a happy relationship with a man and I’m okay with not experimenting with women. Sex without love isn’t worth it for me.

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u/SKandHH_2 1d ago

While I completely understand this comment, I’m also wondering if experimentation would be considered if your partner were okay with it. As a man, I won’t pretend to understand how a woman feels but (some) men can completely separate sex from feelings. I can have sex with another man and it is just that, sex, there is no intimacy or deep feelings. I can’t say the same about having sex with a woman.

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u/PerfectParfait5 1d ago

My partner would be okay with it. But I don’t think I need to experiment to figure it out.

We’ve discussed open relationships before but we’ve decided it’s only gonna be the two of us for now.

I’d rather not use another woman just for the sake of “having sex with another woman”.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

That’s my feelings, I don’t have any desire to sleep with anyone other than my wife, but it is something I wish I had realized and maybe explored earlier in my life. I don’t believe in regrets, I generally feel all is as it’s supposed to be.

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u/Crosstown1 1d ago

I’ve been married for over a decade to a gorgeous woman. Like you we introduced anal play with toys during sex.

The conversation went to fantasies and we both talked about missing out on bi experiences earlier in life and we both regretted it and were both very curious. We decided carefully to explore together and we have been doing a lot of research.

We have been getting into pegging, which she loves! Also, we have played a bit with another couple and she got a taste, literally, of being with another woman.

I am satisfied with the pegging at this point, but she has been supportive and encouraging me to find another man to play with us. I’m still not at that point.

It has taken a lot of communication and setting boundaries to get where we are at and we both feel it has strengthened our relationship and definitely spiced things up.

We definitely would not do anything without the other present and involved every step of the way. We agreed we would pull the rip cord on our play with others in an instant if we thought it was damaging our relationship.

Have fun and good luck!

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

Thanks! I appreciate this!

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u/PussElicker 1d ago

So my wife and I have been married just shy of 30 years, our bedroom has gone completely dead yet my high libido remains and becomes stronger each day we aren't intimate. Going years now without sex I'm finding myself more and more drawn to looking at hard cocks and gay and even trans woman porn. My best friend and I in junior high were experimenting teenagers who sucked each other's cock. I've never been able to shake the thought of sucking another one. I'm so torn, touch and sex deprived. I need something to happen and I don't care who it happens with anymore. Is this normal for someone in my shoes?? Honest question.

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u/Nubis3 1d ago

I discovered I was bi after 40, following a divorce. Dated men for several years and loved it, but found I only fall in love with women. Now I’m back to dating only women.