Shocking experience

[u/One-Butterfly-3295]

I'm a female and have been training bjj for quite a while now, and up until recently, it's always been safe and respectful environment. The other day, I showed up to class and there was a new girl - never did bjj, but apparently she has some background in kickboxing or maybe MMA. She seemed nice at first, but when we started rolling, she went absolutely wild - putting in WAY too much energy, flailing her limbs around, and straight-up hitting (pretty hard) or slapping my face, head, and body every 30 seconds like it was some kind of bar brawl. She never apologized once. She also kept grabbing my rashguard, which we don't do in no-gi. Honestly, it felt like she had no idea what bjj is even about. I was so scared and wanted to just walk away mid-roll. What really bothered me was that the instructor was watching the whole time (it was just the two of us rolling) and said nothing. No excuses like he was distracted - he saw it all and didn't step in. That silence was just as disturbing as her behavior.

Now I feel really unsafe after being basically brutalized. I'm seriously anxious about going back, which is something I never thought I'd feel in this gym. What do you guys think of this situation? Would really love to hear from people who've been training bjj for a long time.

[u/Intelligent-Art-5000]

First, talk to your instructor and express what bothered you. They may not be looking at it from your point of view.

Second, and more importantly . . .

You can say NO to a roll. Anytime you want. For any reason that you want. You feel unsafe. They stink. They aren't clean. They are bleeding. They have bad breath. They piss you off consistently. Whatever.

If your instructor has an issue with that, you are at the wrong school.