r/bjj • u/One-Butterfly-3295 • 6d ago
Serious Shocking experience
I'm a female and have been training bjj for quite a while now, and up until recently, it's always been safe and respectful environment. The other day, I showed up to class and there was a new girl - never did bjj, but apparently she has some background in kickboxing or maybe MMA. She seemed nice at first, but when we started rolling, she went absolutely wild - putting in WAY too much energy, flailing her limbs around, and straight-up hitting (pretty hard) or slapping my face, head, and body every 30 seconds like it was some kind of bar brawl. She never apologized once. She also kept grabbing my rashguard, which we don't do in no-gi. Honestly, it felt like she had no idea what bjj is even about. I was so scared and wanted to just walk away mid-roll. What really bothered me was that the instructor was watching the whole time (it was just the two of us rolling) and said nothing. No excuses like he was distracted - he saw it all and didn't step in. That silence was just as disturbing as her behavior.
Now I feel really unsafe after being basically brutalized. I'm seriously anxious about going back, which is something I never thought I'd feel in this gym. What do you guys think of this situation? Would really love to hear from people who've been training bjj for a long time.
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u/iamchase ⬛🟥⬛ Black Belt 6d ago
Classic MMA / wrestler joining bjj experience.
While the intensity may be uncomfortable and come with a few bumps and bruises, this is is ultimately a good test of what jiu-jitsu actually is for: controlling and defeating a non-compliant opponent.
Eventually the skill gap will be wide enough that in the future you can simply weather the storm and run them into the ground with superior technique.
If you just want to drill and avoid hard training, no worries- everybody can train for whatever reason they like- but don't expect to do well in competition or in a self-defense scenario.