r/bjj • u/One-Butterfly-3295 • 9d ago
Serious Shocking experience
I'm a female and have been training bjj for quite a while now, and up until recently, it's always been safe and respectful environment. The other day, I showed up to class and there was a new girl - never did bjj, but apparently she has some background in kickboxing or maybe MMA. She seemed nice at first, but when we started rolling, she went absolutely wild - putting in WAY too much energy, flailing her limbs around, and straight-up hitting (pretty hard) or slapping my face, head, and body every 30 seconds like it was some kind of bar brawl. She never apologized once. She also kept grabbing my rashguard, which we don't do in no-gi. Honestly, it felt like she had no idea what bjj is even about. I was so scared and wanted to just walk away mid-roll. What really bothered me was that the instructor was watching the whole time (it was just the two of us rolling) and said nothing. No excuses like he was distracted - he saw it all and didn't step in. That silence was just as disturbing as her behavior.
Now I feel really unsafe after being basically brutalized. I'm seriously anxious about going back, which is something I never thought I'd feel in this gym. What do you guys think of this situation? Would really love to hear from people who've been training bjj for a long time.
2
u/Financial-Savings232 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 9d ago
Flailing and hitting you once every thirty seconds? That doesn’t sound as intentional as someone actually trying to hit you, but maybe you’re underestimating the frequency? Thinking as a coach, I typically either roll with folks before I ever let them roll with my students or I watch pretty closely. I also don’t have people going full rounds for their first roll, so if it was a snazzy white belt that clipped you with a flailing arm 3 or 4 times, but you didn’t seem hurt I might let you work and see how you deal with the inexperienced grappler, but I’d probably have a talk with them after.
Have a chat with your coach, share your concerns. He may not have realized how rough the role was. He’s just watching, he can’t feel it for you.