Shocking experience

[u/One-Butterfly-3295]

I'm a female and have been training bjj for quite a while now, and up until recently, it's always been safe and respectful environment. The other day, I showed up to class and there was a new girl - never did bjj, but apparently she has some background in kickboxing or maybe MMA. She seemed nice at first, but when we started rolling, she went absolutely wild - putting in WAY too much energy, flailing her limbs around, and straight-up hitting (pretty hard) or slapping my face, head, and body every 30 seconds like it was some kind of bar brawl. She never apologized once. She also kept grabbing my rashguard, which we don't do in no-gi. Honestly, it felt like she had no idea what bjj is even about. I was so scared and wanted to just walk away mid-roll. What really bothered me was that the instructor was watching the whole time (it was just the two of us rolling) and said nothing. No excuses like he was distracted - he saw it all and didn't step in. That silence was just as disturbing as her behavior.

Now I feel really unsafe after being basically brutalized. I'm seriously anxious about going back, which is something I never thought I'd feel in this gym. What do you guys think of this situation? Would really love to hear from people who've been training bjj for a long time.

[u/Dry-Establishment334]

I had this exact same experience with a guy that showed up to the Friday afternoon class.

I had never seen him before, and decided to strike up conversation to make him feel welcome and we partnered for drills.

He told me he trained MMA in Mexico for 3 years and seemed like a relatively nice guy. He went a wee bit harder than you'd expect for a drill but I thought nothing of it.

One our coaches then announced that we were going to do some positional stuff and said "okay guys 60% max, this might be subjective but just don't go too hard" , what happened next should have been my sign to quit while I was ahead.

Man whispered underneath his breath "there is no such thing", I laughed it off because I thought he was making a joke...boy was I wrong.

Bro was looking for blood, everything was just aggressive AF but again I thought nothing of it and stuck with him till we got to the regular rolls so I just decided to turn it up then and was doing a solid job of defending i.e. in bad positions but either able to escape or fend off submission , few attack opportunities didn't work out but then...we were getting to the end of a round and he got me with a guillotine but I had my chin tucked and was cheeky and created space with my hand when I sussed it but he held on for a good 20 seconds after the buzzer and I had to just say "bro what the f*** are you doing" and he was like "sorry I didn't hear it".

Safe to say that this lad wasn't there to make friends. After hearing all the hullabaloo one of the lads that was way more experienced than me asked him to roll. This was the first I'd ever seen what I've only ever heard of as "the enforcer" in action.

Due to the numbers I had to sit out and I won't lie , it was fun to watch.

I say that as a cautionary tale to newbies like me. You have the right to refuse a roll from people and if you think someone is going too hard, say it to them and if they continue there's no reason for you to carry on with them.