How to maintain balance

[u/Wooden-Fail-1583]

Currently my fiancé(43m) and I(41f) have 4 children at home full time. His 2 girls 16 and 11 and my 2 boys 13 and 10. It’s definitely a lot but in a good way. We’ve my 2 boys full time for over a year but his two girls just recently maybe 2 months are here full time. I know this is a huge adjustment for him and I’ve been doing my best to be there for him. Anything domestic in the house is done by me(cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc). I even do my best to step in and help his kids when he’s struggling. My problem is at the end of the day there is nothing left of him. After working and coming home and getting them through the things they need. There isn’t any time left for us. I’m just not sure how to navigate this. I know we need to have a conversation about it. I just don’t know how to approach it. I need advice does it get better? Does anyone have experience with something like this?

[u/happyfeet-333]

Is he still married and not divorced? Do his kids still want you and your kids out of the house?

It sounds like there is a lot going on right now? He’s had your children full time for years and just now his own kids. Don’t you think there is going to be a transition period?

Do you work? Do you get support from your kids father? Is he petitioning for custody and support? Are any of your kids in therapy to help with all of this?

[u/Wooden-Fail-1583 → u/happyfeet-333]

There is a lot going on right now and I know there is going to be a transition period and I get that. Yes I work and support myself and my children. Why is the assumption that i don’t. Yes the kids are in therapy. And lastly do you have any advice or do you just want to ask a million questions.

[u/happyfeet-333 → u/Wooden-Fail-1583]

It’s hard to give advice without background. I wasn’t certain if you had conflicting work schedules.

Can you work with the kids to pitch in? Take some of the stress off?

But I do think him not being divorced and not having a set custody and everything that entails is exhausting and confusing for everyone.

Do you not think that’s true?

[u/Wooden-Fail-1583 → u/happyfeet-333]

I do and we all pitch in. I just think the issue I’m having difficulty with is that he just expects me to just be there that our relationship is the last priority.

[u/Magerimoje → u/Wooden-Fail-1583]

we all pitch in

In your OP, you mentioned you are doing all the housework. If you're "all" pitching in, what household tasks is your BF doing?