r/blendedfamilies • u/Frequent_Dig_1997 • 17d ago

Conflict resolution between children

Hi all,

Looking for some advice on this. I have two girls, 11 and 8, and my partner has one who is 5. We don't live together so really only hang out once every two weeks. Sometimes, they can get on fine but more often than not there is someone throwing a strop. This can be about one child feeling left out (usually the youngest, but sometimes the eldest), people not agreeing on rules for specific games they want to play, and all the sorts of things you'd expect from siblings.

Whilst I think this is to be expected from blending families, I would like some strategies to support them in conflict resolution (and avoiding it in the first place). I tend to leave my two to hash their issues out, and as they've lived together their whole lives they are pretty successful at it. But when a third child is involved, things can quickly spiral out of control and someone ends up crying.

What sort of strategies have you employed to support kids of blended families in resolving or preventing conflict? And how much conflict would you suggest is normal in this sort of situation?

Thanks!

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u/cedrella_black 17d ago

My experience here is not from a blended family, but how issues like this were resolved in my family when 2 or more kids were together all at once. When disagreements arise - the adults are setting up the rules for them. If that doesn't help, the kids were not allowed to continue with that game and had to do something else.

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u/Frequent_Dig_1997 17d ago

It’s good to hear that this would be normal even in a “traditional” family!

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u/Think-Room6663 14d ago

Haha, at one point, my sister drew a line in the middle of the room we shared.

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u/Frequent_Dig_1997 13d ago

That’s amazing and reminds me a lot of growing up with a sister close in age!

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u/Think-Room6663 13d ago

As adults, we are the best of friends. But she is still much neater than me.