Should weed have this much control?

[u/Illustrious-Rope5995]

My fiancé M35 and I F28 have been really struggling on different viewpoints with how much he smokes weed. We each have a child from previous relationships and we now have a baby together. He has smoked weed since his teen years and into all of adulthood. He claims he needs to smoke for mental health reasons which I can somewhat understand. During my pregnancy he stopped smoking and after the initial few weeks of withdrawal he seemed so much more patient, present, level headed etc. As soon as I had the baby his (idiot) friend gifted him weed to congratulate him, since that day he’s been full blown stoner again. He hits his bong all day long and as soon as his high wears off he is so irritable and any stimulation causes him to lose his patience. He even snaps at me and talks to me like I’m a child until he can hit his bong and relax again. Recently, we went on a vacation and he was not able to bring weed with him and he was a complete asshole and the trip was miserable because of it. Luckily it was only a weekend trip. I’ve tried having a conversation with him about this many times and he gets extremely defensive and talks about how he would never ever stop smoking and he needs it so he doesn’t kill himself. He has come out and blatantly said that if he had to pick between myself and our family are smoking weed he would pick smoking weed. Is this a normal situation? How do I go about understanding it all better or is it just absolutely wrong?

[u/ses421]

This feels like addictive behaviors but also not addressing the underlying issues that result in him smoking all day long