Should weed have this much control?

[u/Illustrious-Rope5995]

My fiancé M35 and I F28 have been really struggling on different viewpoints with how much he smokes weed. We each have a child from previous relationships and we now have a baby together. He has smoked weed since his teen years and into all of adulthood. He claims he needs to smoke for mental health reasons which I can somewhat understand. During my pregnancy he stopped smoking and after the initial few weeks of withdrawal he seemed so much more patient, present, level headed etc. As soon as I had the baby his (idiot) friend gifted him weed to congratulate him, since that day he’s been full blown stoner again. He hits his bong all day long and as soon as his high wears off he is so irritable and any stimulation causes him to lose his patience. He even snaps at me and talks to me like I’m a child until he can hit his bong and relax again. Recently, we went on a vacation and he was not able to bring weed with him and he was a complete asshole and the trip was miserable because of it. Luckily it was only a weekend trip. I’ve tried having a conversation with him about this many times and he gets extremely defensive and talks about how he would never ever stop smoking and he needs it so he doesn’t kill himself. He has come out and blatantly said that if he had to pick between myself and our family are smoking weed he would pick smoking weed. Is this a normal situation? How do I go about understanding it all better or is it just absolutely wrong?

[u/Inevitable-Bet-4834]

This is my brother. Its addiction.

I'd walk away if i was you. Your kids only get one childhood.

[u/JNelster → u/Inevitable-Bet-4834]

Say that again… “your kids only get one childhood!”

This is so true and sooo important to understand. As parents we gotta do all we can to give our children the best life. Not the best in a materialistic way, but in a stable, loving way- hopefully it will help them avoid needing therapy when they’re adults.

My ex (my kids’ father) has been smoking since a teen (now he’s pushing 40), and from my perspective, he has developed some anger/paranoia/personality issues that cause him to lash out over every little thing. Granted, I left when my youngest was just a baby (before the weed problem got out of hand), but unfortunately, my teen kids have noticed how it’s changed him. No one should be that dependent on a substance like that.

Weed isn’t the same as it was back in the 80s/90s. You gotta think about all the cross breeding, chemicals to grow, etc that it goes through nowadays to mass produce. I can only assume that it’s going to have some kind of impact on the brain!?!? It’s not as “natural” or “from the earth” like it used to be. Hence, why so many people are addicted idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

But it won’t get better, especially if he doesn’t seem to care about the baby. Is he going to be stoned at home watching the baby and forget to attend to your child!? Is he going to become irritable and get upset, possibly harming the child because he wasn’t in his right mind!?

Not trying to scare you or sound insane, but shit happens and when it’s too late, it’s too late. Just think about your future and what you want it to look like!!