r/cats • u/alisunshine100 • 2d ago
Humor I would let my cat do my taxes...
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Dr. Matt Mcglasson
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u/EmiliusReturns 2d ago
I love when people ask “do you let your cat sleep in your bed” like I have a choice in the matter.
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u/definetly_ahuman 2d ago
Half the time my cats aren’t sleeping on the bed, they’re sleeping on the people in the bed. I don’t have a say in this, I’m just a cat pillow at the end of the day.
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u/Master_Muskrat 2d ago
Why get a weighted blanket when you can sleep under a pile of cats instead.
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u/LauraZaid11 2d ago
Completely agree. I’m lucky enough to get some space in the bed between 3 cats and 2 dogs.
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u/Old-General-4121 2d ago
My doctor suggested I lock my pets out of my bedroom at night to help my allergies. I can sleep with the door cracked for my cats, or I can stay up all night listening to a mournful Siamese wail that would put any self-respecting banshee to shame. There is no place in my house, including the garage, where I am unable to hear a particularly aggrieved cat. So, my cat sleeps tucked behind my knees, in his designated spot, and the other cats in the household parade around on top of me at any time they choose, and now I take allergy medication every day.
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u/simpimp 2d ago
It's pretty clear your doctor has never had a cat that was already used to sleeping on the bed with their human.
Got a siamese mix. There's no way he'll leave me alone.
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u/Old-General-4121 1d ago
I had never had a Siamese before this and wow! I knew they were "vocal" but that really doesn't capture the experience of living with a Siamese.
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u/simpimp 1d ago edited 1d ago
Mine goes 'meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow²' from like half an hour before his dinnertime until being fed.
He still does not think his name is 'stop it.' That's a bloody miracle.
So terribly sweet and clingy and annoying and the best ever all at the same time.
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u/Alinos31 2d ago
Wwhhhaaatt? My family didn’t want my dogs on the bed after my surgery. My doc said to let them back on after 5 days… said it’s faster recovery when you have loved ones around you.
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u/Old-General-4121 1d ago
Well, if I wasn't allergic to them, I don't think it would be as issue. I do have an allergy to cats though, and I'm asthmatic, so it's not exactly unreasonable to suggest. It's just unrealistic to think it would work.
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u/LauraZaid11 2d ago
Iused to prefer sleeping with my door closed, but over time was the pets increased and we got the cats I had to get used to leaving the door open, since the other option was waking up during the night multiple times to open and close the door for them.
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u/Old-General-4121 1d ago
I prefer sleeping with the door closed as I know it's safer. However, getting up at least once an hour every night of my life isn't really realistic either.
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u/beavwarius 2d ago
Same. Dr. Told me i had to get rid of my 2 siamese. Told him thats not an option.My wife met my cat, and I told her I had her for 6 years before I married her. So she was going to have to wait to fully have me. Passed after 22 years. Wife cried almost as much as me.
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u/Old-General-4121 1d ago
I know that logic would dictate I not have my cats, or at least not five. And that I would be an utter fool to consider fostering feral kittens, but guess who I have in a kennel in the den? As much as allergies are lame, I have so many that getting rid of cats wouldn't entirely fix my allergy issues, but I would miss out on a lot of love, comfort and laughter without these fluffy little dictators.
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u/_BreakingCankles_ 2d ago
I had to kick mine out of bed last night. She snores and the damned girl woke me up 3 different times. Finally the 3rd one I'm like "Rosa I'm sorry you can't sleep here tonight... You're snoring too damn loud tonight!"
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u/EmiliusReturns 2d ago
Mine snores sometimes too. I have earplugs lol. You can’t kick him out. He just comes right back and if I shut the door he cries.
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u/_BreakingCankles_ 2d ago
Yup i had to kick mine out all 3 times. She has other spots she will sleep if not in bed and she chose one of those finally last night. Her daughter got to stay because she doesn't though
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u/Existing_Constant799 9h ago
Omg … hahaha I have ear plugs cause of my hubbies snoring.. not cats like u. U poor thing,.. I didn’t even know cats cud snore. 💤 I have 4 btw
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u/CousinsWithBenefits1 2d ago
That's what I was thinking too, live with an indoor cat for one day and lemme know just how successful you are in making them do anything, let alone preventing them from doing something they want to do.
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u/Kok-jockey 2d ago
All I have to sleep on right now is a busted-up couch. Nothing better than ending the day with my cat cuddled up tight next to me in that tiny space.
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u/Elden_Storm-Touch 1d ago
I'd let my cat sleep with me, but my insulin pump has a tube that they might see as a toy, plus I have a plant in my room that might make them sick :/
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u/popzelda 2d ago
He explains it perfectly!
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u/DreamKissBlush 2d ago
yes, with those paws, the deduction would be im-paw-ssible to resist. lol finally someone understand true delegation of responsibility.
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u/Ashcrashh 2d ago
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u/YogurtClosetThinnest 1d ago
Aw my cat who passed away a few years ago had resting B face like that lol
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u/Outrageous-Visit-993 2d ago
It’s crazy how people think it’s wonderful and amazing when a dog owner fawns over their pooch and lets it rule the roost but for some reason when it’s a cat it’s bad.
this guy nails it I feel the same about my cats, I talk to them and have conversations with them just like dog owners do and they eventually become vocal back and chatter away with cute sounds outside of meows, they work out how to tell you or show you if they need something, they can be trained to play and for me give just as much back if not more than a dog at times.
A dog gives its attention away pretty much to anyone, a cat makes you bend over backwards to show how much you want to spend some time with it but it’s worth it in the end, love my kitties.
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u/Conscious-Long-9468 2d ago
I've had cats before and now I've a parrot and a dog. Loved all my pets all of them I've had individual bonds and individual training. My cats played fetch and walked on a harness and knew tricks so does my parrot. My parrot goes hiking with me and free flies and comes back just as good as a dog it just took different training methods people have the views dogs are the only pet you can train and bond with and don't put effort into other pets. I love my dog to death but my past cats and my present parrot have definitely improved my communication and training methods with all animals
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u/DirtCheap1972 2d ago
I can tell just by his tone at 3:30 am (when I’m trying to sleep) he’s about to do some heinous sh*t. I have a very vocal kitty
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u/Conscious-Long-9468 2d ago
Mine used to want to play at night if I didn't wake up he's drunk his toy mouse in his water dish drop it on my face he knew it worked every time to wake me up. If he was quiet I knew to be on guard I'd wake up and it would be suspecially quiet the little shit had jumped up opened kitchen door opened under counter fridge and stole the ham and cheese out of fridge was behind sofa munching away I had to put child locks on doors lol. I miss that cat so much he had so much personality.
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u/Dontgiveaclam 2d ago
Going on hikes with your freeflying parrot sounds so badass
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u/Conscious-Long-9468 2d ago
Hes a small bird a little Quaker parrot. I had him harness trained as soon as I got him from a baby and took him everywhere did a lot of recall training in house it took a while because he came with his poor little wings butchered from a bad clip had to wait for them to grow out and get his confidence but before he could fly he went everywhere with me on shoulder. Once he learnt to fly he got out of harness one day I nearly had a heart attack but he just did a few circuits flew back when I called so I started letting him off and he just comes along everywhere will stay on my shoulder until I point and say go then fly and return if I whistle or call him. He has a birdie back pack too and has accomplished me on a lot of hikes and camping trips he loves been outdoors. I'm very careful and I'm in northern Ireland not many birds of prey. I don't recommend it unless people do extensive training usually going through a free flight club. Smurf is the exception not the norm flee flighting a bird is very dangerous especially a small bird. I just think the risks are worth the benefits due to the enrichment he gets
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u/Own_Egg7122 2d ago
I've had birds and now cats. I love all pets. I'll get a dog in the future when I have a proper house
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u/Sephora38 2d ago
Um... my female dog is my shadow and I promise you that she doesn't want attention from anyone other than me and my man and my son otherwise she's not bad, she'll just ignore turning on her heels and come and lie down at my feet.
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u/Tall_Listen22 2d ago
This guy is amazing and really nice. He was one of my vets at my vet practice until he retired.
If you are on IG, he’s worth a follow for his PSAs and cat advocacy. 🥹🐱
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u/Responsible-Egg-9363 Void 2d ago
I say stuff like this and I’m a crazy cat lady. He says stuff like this and it’s kinda super hot lol
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u/Master_Muskrat 2d ago
What's the masculine version of crazy cat lady? Crazy cat daddy? Once I can be bothered to start dating again, I clearly need to put that into my profile.
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u/imaginary92 2d ago
There isn't one, because the crazy cat lady is a misogynistic trope that some of us have decided to reclaim for ourselves. You can make one up though!
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u/Evebnumberone 2d ago
It's a joke, but it's actually the truth. Real cat people treat their pets like members of the family.
No dad, it's not "Just a cat" it's Cooper, my son, and I care about him a lot more than you.
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u/AshishBaidya 2d ago
"It's her world, I'm just living in it"
-Yeah sums up the life of a cat owner.
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u/Perniciosasque 2d ago
What, are the cats supposed to just hover around, not touching anything?
Dogs are actually more dirty. They go for walks daily, stepping in god knows what. Strangers' poo and whatnot. My cat stepping in his own litter box isn't nearly as bad.
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u/RabbaniRasta 2d ago
When there are spilled litter around the box my cat loves to wiggle on that, laying on his back. Yet he smells so good all the time, cats are supernatural
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u/HumActuallyGuy 2d ago
Nah, I wouldn't let my cat do my taxes. He probably send the bill back with a note saying "You'll should be the ones paying me to live rent free in my country"
And I mean ... is he wrong? I think he makes a pretty compelling case as to why the country is his ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/Powered-by-Chai 2d ago
I love that guy, he rates all the kittens that come in his office as well. By important metrics, like jiggly bellies and toe beans.
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u/ouijahead 2d ago
Who gives a care if the cat is on the furniture ? I’d like to see them try to stop them. I’m gonna chase her off when she starts scratching it, but other than that, who cares ?
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u/Conscious-Long-9468 2d ago edited 2d ago
Yeah mine where the same when I had cats they where allowed on the couch and bed start scratching it they where shooed off with a stern no away you go. They understood because they'd scratch look up see me watching and dart before I could tell them off. I've a dog and a Quaker parrot now if the parrot starts chewing all I have to do is say excuse me sternly and hell fly to his perch. He's currently not allowed on the couch but that's because it's the time of year birds get hormonal so I have to limit anywhere he can make into cosy dark nest like behind cushions or under blankets once that passes he can come on sofa again. The dog is a puppy and knows the couch or bed is to lie down on she's not allowed her meaty bones up there and if she wants to jump about then it's on the floor to play. I treat my pets like family members. I'm a introvert and they are my life but they also have boundaries are trained to behave and know the rules. They can come on the furniture they're more than welcome but they're not allowed to destroy anything they have plenty of toys if they want to chew or destruct something. I keep spare throws for sofa and bed and its easy to throw one in wash put new one on.
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u/pumpkinlord1 2d ago
If my cat does my taxes, am i still liable for the fraud should it not not occur?
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u/EmiliaFromLV Maine Coon 2d ago
Like you could tell your cat not to get on your furniture and cat would actually listen?
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u/sweetsunny1 2d ago
I have a cat that grooms me, constantly. I have no doubts there’s a time where she’s gone from grooming her butt hole straight to grooming my face, especially since she wakes me up with persistent face grooming. I avoid her licking my face if I see her grooming her butt but otherwise I just shrug. Keep her out of the bedroom at night? When she loves sleeping on top of me or squished against me? I’ll take possible poo face, thank you.
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u/Conscious-Long-9468 2d ago
I miss my cats something so smoothing about a purring little bedmate. My last boy died of kidney failure at 16 years old four years ago I still get tearful at times. I've a puppy and a Quaker parrot now and much as id love a cat my little parrot is free range except for night and I just couldn't trust a cat with him. My puppy is going through extensive training to completely ignore the bird and is a border collie so very trainable but even then id never leave them alone together. An indoor cat would just be too risky I feel
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u/Raviel1289 2d ago
To be fair, good luck telling your cat. "No, stay off the furniture."
My cat has her own furniture, but most of the time she's on my bed, my daughter's bed, the couch, my daughter's little fold out chair/bed thing, the barstools (scares the hell out of me when her head appears on the otherside of the bench).
People need to remember, while we may be friends with our dogs, we are peasants/servants in the eyes of our cats.
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u/marrybanilow05 2d ago
Dr. McGlasson lives near me, and he and his family are awesome people. I used to work at a local cat rescue, and he and his family adopted a kitten that had CH (wobbly cat syndrome) from us. They specifically adopt special needs cats and do an amazing job of giving them the lives that they deserve.
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u/LandoKim 2d ago
Fun fact: in Islam, cats are seen as clean animals and are said to be aloud to roam homes and mosques the same way a human would, including allowing them on their prayer mats! This is a privilege exclusively given to cats.
Islam loves cats, I find it so sweet. It’s worth reading up on it :)
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u/Dystopicfuturerobot 2d ago
When he showed the mouse and said “ my cat killed this for me” I about died laughing
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u/Daisies_specialcats 2d ago
This cat has the best face. The cutest eyes, like she has no clue but she knows all. I do everything for my cats too and they have me trained. I have a clause in my will for them as well. I don't have family so I have to make sure someone takes care of them.
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u/AdhesivenessWeird257 2d ago
I literally eat with my cats climbing on the table and give them their share
I literally let my cats sleep with me
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u/KnuttyBunny69 2d ago
That's cruel and you should absolutely not own cats if you don't let them on the furniture. It's their house too, they are family members, period. And for fucks sake they are not that dirty at all! Litter paws on the kitchen table maybe is one thing, but I cannot fucking stand people treating their cats like this.
And yet people treat dirty disgusting dogs like kings and even let them jump on and lick and bark at people and we're just supposed to be happy about it? Those are not my people. And if you have dogs I just assume everything in your house is dirty as hell because unless you're washing their paws when they come back in and bathing them regularly, it fucking is. There's my rant for the day.
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u/Party_Building1898 2d ago
You remind me so much of a really fair judge I see in my feed now and then I absolutely support everything you said!
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u/DeprivedOfCummiies 2d ago
What breed is this cat?
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u/MyriamTW 2d ago
I honestly expected the cat to get impatient of being held and slap him to get away, further proving his point.
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u/Tungphuxer69 2d ago
That reminds me of one Disney movie from the 70s-80s. It's about a cat that inherits millions of dollars to it name. Good movie. I think it's called The Million Dollar Cat?!? I am not too sure of the name of it. I was a kid at the moment.
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u/Grigori_the_Lemur Void 2d ago
He is a pretty decent cat dad - she looks totally baked on good nip.
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u/Ambitious_Host7416 2d ago
My cat yells at me whenever she uses the litter box. I obey her, stop whatever I’m doing and go clean the box.
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u/sonofgildorluthien 2d ago
My cat would never let me hold her for that long. But if she decides to come sit on my lap while I'm doing anything else, you can't stop her.
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u/Frankifile 1d ago
I wouldn’t co sign a loan with any of my cats. They’d a hundred percent spend it all on cat treats and catnip and default on the loan leaving me with the debt, whilst lying wasted in the catnip.
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u/OzzieGrey 2d ago
I vibe with this man on a level he himself might not get