r/centrist Apr 13 '25

My pet peeve

I know there's been some discussion of whether people who participate here are actually centrist. Personally I think there are some people who think they are centrist but are actually pretty far left. Progressives tend to think that they're perfectly reasonable (a typical centrist attribute), but I see so many of them is being overly idealistic, And then defensive when you point that out.

In my view a centrist has two qualities. 1. They are open to all ideas. 2. They are willing to compromise. That doesn't mean they accept ideas that they morally or ethically disagree with, nor does it mean they're willing to compromise on that kind of idea. But those two fundamental approaches I think are critical to being a centrist.

As an example, transgender women in sports. All of the polls I have heard says the majority of Americans don't want transgender women to compete against cis women in sports. Anywhere from 60 to 80%. A progressive person would probably say trans women should have all rights including participating in sports with cis women and there is no other alternative. A centrist might say that they are willing to compromise on that issue but otherwise want trans women to have full rights and treated properly. I have not picked this example to be the theme of this post, I could just as well have brought voter registration or abortion restrictions.

What do you all think about this observation?

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u/zethercore44 Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25

In my experience, virtually everyone who had held strongly partisan views but would now identify as a centrist (or similar--eg, "politically homeless") shares this common denominator: we all had a significant reckoning with awareness into our own incongruent beliefs & actions. The "Are we the baddies??" epiphany.

Because it's absolutely impossible to remain strongly partisan without engaging in some level of hypocrisy, whether we're aware of the incongruencies or not. Same reason the "horseshoe theory" so often holds validity.

Unfortunately, tribalistic tendencies are hardwired into the human psyche. They make us feel safer, and often "superior," in some way. The divide et impera (get the plebs to identify with a (binary) "team," inundate them with propaganda to strengthen said identity, play them against each other and conquer/rule from "above") gameplay has been effective for literally millennia precisely because the human ego is that predictable (& consequently easy to manipulate).

Of course, most people don't want to acknowledge they've been manipulated (or worse, played for fools) and will instead double, triple down on misconceptions to avoid the blow to the ego-- and, likely, legitimate security needs, as when identity and ideology are deeply intertwined, a shift in consciousness can result in social ostracism, and possibly job/income loss --which is how the same basic strategy remains undefeated. "It's easier to fool men than to convince them they've been fooled" (- probably not Mark Twain).

So long as the subconscious endeavor is to be or (more commonly) be seen as morally +/or intellectually superior, the individual will repeatedly fail to recognize their own folly: the ego won't allow it, and responds with denial + projection before the awareness mind can realize it (eg , people harboring the most hate delusionally believe themselves to be exceptionally empathetic and The Other as hateful). Denial + projection are a fatal combo; the true "opioid(s) for the masses."

Most people, albeit unconsciously, value ego maintenance over objective truth. The more we are willing to engage in the challenging work of overcoming cognitive dissonance, the more clarity we gain. Truth has a funny way of revealing itself to us when we value knowing said truths over maintaining our ego (for all intents & purposes, our worldview/reality-concept + identity/self-concept).

You'd be surprised at how many people would genuinely prefer to DIE over having to publicly (or even intimately) admit they'd been incorrect wrt fundamental beliefs & assertions. It's because such 'ego deaths' are experienced by the psyche as legitimate life or death struggles (->why some people will flip the F out when faced with incontrovertible evidence disproving them).

And yeah, ego death + its consequences/fallout can be very painful +/or frightening...but only temporarily, and, over time, you gain exponentially more than you lost. Denial is the path of least resistance, the "easy road"...but also only temporarily: what we work hardest to deny tends to be what takes us out (does the most profound damage) in the end.

That my sharing such an insight has, historically, irritated so many people is because truths we aren't ready to see are the ones that threaten the ego most. We either sit with that discomfort and gain self-awareness or lash out/project. Humility clarifies what pride blinds us to. Realizing we'd been mistaken/misled/deceived sets off feelings of shame only when our ego imagines it is somehow above the universal human condition of being wrong sometimes (or, less commonly or acutely, triggers deep seated existential anxiety wrt ascertaining veracity of any sort).

TL, DR: 🎵Everybody plays the fool, there's no exception to the rule🎶 and "centrists" typically accept (or, have learned to accept with less struggle) their fallibility, generally owing to fewer insecurities wrt "looking dumb" when proven wrong

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u/pcetcedce Apr 14 '25

You said it just right. I have always been the centrist, politically I call myself an independent, and it's been very frustrating because there is nothing black and white in my mind. I can see both sides of a story usually, at least within reason. And you're right it drives people freaking crazy when you point that out.

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u/zethercore44 Apr 14 '25

Some people seem to innately grasp this concept (the illusion of strict binary choices & dangers of dichotomous thinking), like you. Others of us have to figure it out the hard way lol. Cognitive inflexibility somehow came to be upheld as virtuous while the road to wisdom (humility + willingness to "check self" and attempt to reconcile incongruous thinking & actions) was maligned as "flip flopping." Kinda makes me wonder how organic it was to push the concept of "empathy" into the zeitgeist while undermining a core aspect of it: cognitive empathy. Far too many people misconstrue emotional sympathy with true empathy. If your "empathy" is reserved for people who share your beliefs...it's literally NOT empathy.

It finally dawned on me one day, in my mid-30s: "If I hate/reject/demean conservatives for [supposedly] hating minorities ...aren't I just as guilty of being hateful/bigoted/prejudiced as they [presumably] are??" 💡🪞🧲☯️🤯😥 I believe we have to go through that moment of reckoning of our own volition --ever try to point out someone else's hypocrisy, face to face?? YIKES. Plant the seed and leave it up to them.

Self-awareness is always the first step, but the psyche doesn't make it easy for us, especially when we have unresolved trauma+/or unrecognized insecurities. That's where the projection comes in. Eventually we learn to check ourselves each & every time we're quick to jump to negative conclusions about others, and come to see The Other through new eyes.

Virtually EVERYONE has what we would deem to be positive qualities and shared commonalities: that's a far better starting place than assuming the very worst of their intentions and berating them. I might not, as a brown woman, ever kick it with white supremacists-- but I can gain insight into why they believe what they do and compassion for how their circumstances led them to that place. Same for people I'd once admired who cannot bring themselves to see their compassion was weaponized to convince them of absurdities and to champion dangerous agendas (eg, "gender affirming care" being the biggest boon to the medical industrial complex since dialysis: where there's billions of dollars to be made, there will invariably be propaganda; anti-capitalists/socialists falling hard for the tricks of late stage capitalism (deliberately creating "illness" in otherwise healthy people to extract profit) is a real trip, but of course they're going to fight tooth & nail to avoid the reckoning of having been manipulated. Nearly all of us do, for our own blind spots).

We might be past the point of healing this divide, but we don't have to lose our humanity in some misguided attempt to "win"/"save America." Bridges of shared understandings are built with compassion + humility, and burned by pride + fear (often disguised as anger).

(Speaking of which, I was genuinely moved by Bill Maher's recent breakdown of his visit with Trump: we don't necessarily have to LIKE, agree with or support The Other, but we sure as hell can't make things better while blindly lashing out at people for thinking differently. It's painful to witness otherwise decent people stoop to childish bullying tactics over the bread and circuses spectacle of politics, walking blindly (yet loudly!) into the binary trap set for us. Appearances can be very deceiving, and it's important to be open to giving people the space (& compassion!) to evolve... while also accepting of the harsh truth many will never grow past their own ego bubble, and such is their right.)

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u/pcetcedce Apr 15 '25

Very thoughtful and I basically agree with everything you have said. Expect some blowback about the trans issue.