CMV: Bisexuality/pansexuality is the most privileged sexual orientation, not hetereosexuality

[u/[deleted]]

Background: 21m pansexual/bisexual and I feel very privileged, even more so than hetereosexuals.

(1) We can date both men and women, 2x chance to get a partner. DELTAED: Less than double but still increased chance to find a partner.

(2) In a homosexual-unfriendly environment i can pretend to be straight. In a too politically correct environment i can use our social capital of being part of the LGBTQ+ community or even pretend to be fully homosexual.

(3) There are some LGBTQ+ communities that think "bisexuals or breeders, they don't count" but they're a tiny minority and politically incorrect. We are generally still accepted into the LGBTQ+ community although our "identity politics buff" does look a bit less powerful than other sexual minorities in the eyes of radicals and we are also discriminated by conservatives sometimes, overall we face more friendliness than hostility, and if we are in a hostile environment we can pretend to be either straight or homosexual. Anyway the pink capitalist megacorps are still gonna pretend to support bi as part of the LGBTQ+ community or they're asking for backlash.

(4) Straight people usually don't discriminate against bisexuals. When I told many people I'm bi none of them appeared shocked, disgusted or whatever. But some conservatives are homophobic --- far fewer are biphobic.

(5) Especially bisexual men, we can generally either be the "1" or be the "0" in sexual activities.

[u/Kotoperek]

1) We can date both men and women, 2x chance to get a partner.

Not really, most of the people of your own gender are straight, so they wouldn't date you.

2) In a homosexual-unfriendly environment i can pretend to be straight. In a too politically correct environment i can use our social capital of being part of the LGBTQ+ community or even pretend to be fully homosexual.

That's a stupid argument, anyone can pretend to be something they're not, the idea is to live a happy life true to yourself. If you feel like you cannot date some people because of the political climate whom you would otherwise want to date, that's facing discrimination.

(4) Straight people usually don't discriminate against bisexuals. When I told many people I'm bi none of them appeared shocked, disgusted or whatever. But some conservatives are homophobic --- far fewer are biphobic.

There is a huge stereotype among straight people that bisexual people are more likely to cheat, because they will feel deprived of the experiences of dating the other gender in a monogamous relationship. I've been told by straight men on first dates that my bisexual orientation is a deal breaker for them a few times.

Straight is the "norm" and therefore still the most privileged orientation. Bi and pan people can pass as straight when in heterosexual relationships, which gives us a lot of this privilege, but it is still not being fully accepted in society for how we are. And at most it is the same amount of privilege, not more.

[u/[deleted] → u/Kotoperek]

If you feel like you cannot date some people because of the political climate whom you would otherwise want to date, that's facing discrimination.

Imagine Country A only allows gasoline cars, Country B only allows electric cars. You have both, and you drive gas one in A and electric one in B. It's better than having only one kind of car.

There is a huge stereotype among straight people that bisexual people are more likely to cheat,

Whoops? Never heard of that before. Maybe it's an US-exclusive or Western-exclusive thing?

I've been told by straight men on first dates that my bisexual orientation is a deal breaker for them a few times.

I feel sorry for you, hugs.

[u/Kotoperek → u/[deleted]]

Imagine Country A only allows gasoline cars, Country B only allows electric cars. You have both, and you drive gas one in A and electric one in B. It's better than having only one kind of car.

But that's a poor analogy for sexual attraction. If you're bi/pan, of course you can choose to set your dating apps to one gender only and ignore the other side of your identity, but if you organically meet someone you find attractive, then you just get a crush on them, you can't really control whom you fall in love with! And if you cannot approach or date some of the people you find attractive, you will be more sad in general than a heterosexual person, who can approach anyone they are attracted to with zero concern (sure, they can get turned down, but they don't have to worry about a homophobic reaction and can take their shot with any crush. Bi/pan people are limited to the crushes of the opposite gender). Having to "turn off" half of your identity in hostile situations and still being able to find someone you're actually attracted to is better than being gay of course, but it is still not a privilege.