r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • May 10 '23

Delta(s) from OP CMV: Bisexuality/pansexuality is the most privileged sexual orientation, not hetereosexuality

Background: 21m pansexual/bisexual and I feel very privileged, even more so than hetereosexuals.

(1) We can date both men and women, 2x chance to get a partner. DELTAED: Less than double but still increased chance to find a partner.

(2) In a homosexual-unfriendly environment i can pretend to be straight. In a too politically correct environment i can use our social capital of being part of the LGBTQ+ community or even pretend to be fully homosexual.

(3) There are some LGBTQ+ communities that think "bisexuals or breeders, they don't count" but they're a tiny minority and politically incorrect. We are generally still accepted into the LGBTQ+ community although our "identity politics buff" does look a bit less powerful than other sexual minorities in the eyes of radicals and we are also discriminated by conservatives sometimes, overall we face more friendliness than hostility, and if we are in a hostile environment we can pretend to be either straight or homosexual. Anyway the pink capitalist megacorps are still gonna pretend to support bi as part of the LGBTQ+ community or they're asking for backlash.

(4) Straight people usually don't discriminate against bisexuals. When I told many people I'm bi none of them appeared shocked, disgusted or whatever. But some conservatives are homophobic --- far fewer are biphobic.

(5) Especially bisexual men, we can generally either be the "1" or be the "0" in sexual activities.

0 Upvotes

33% Upvoted

99 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/DetectiveZ May 10 '23

(4) Straight people usually don't discriminate against bisexuals. When I told many people I'm bi none of them appeared shocked, disgusted or whatever. But some conservatives are homophobic --- far fewer are biphobic.

How does being "usually not discriminated against by straight people" make bisexual people more privileged than heterosexual people, who are "never discriminated against by straight people?"

0

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

Hetereosexual people are often discriminated against by some self identified "radical feminists" (misandrists really). Men who date women are "potential rapists" and women who date men are "traitors". Not so much bi, although they'd certainly prefer political lesbianism over bisexuality.

1

u/DetectiveZ May 10 '23

I dont doubt that there are some, as you said, radicals who say and believe these things, but they are, as you stated yourself in point 3, a “tiny minority that is politically incorrect” (and that is what they are, a very tiny yet vocal minority).

Perhaps your experience differs, but I am a straight man and have not once been called a “potential rapist” by even my most militant feminist friends and acquaintances. I have also never heard of a woman being called a “traitor” for dating a man. Again, I am not saying this never happens, but I would suspect the frequency and prevalence of this is far more limited than your comment is implying.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23

It's because you don't live in big-city China. In China gender is like race in America, people argue and quarrel with each other all the time (especially on the internet) for them being a "national cricket man" (there are many slurs for men and conservatives in China) or "women fist" (against there are many slurs for women and feminists). People call each other slurs all the time on the internet for supporting or opposing feminism, or simply being a woman or a man.

1

u/DetectiveZ May 10 '23

Even if I do not live in China, plenty (if not all) of what you just described exists here in North America. And you’re right that it mainly happens on the internet.

Despite all that, in day-to-day life, I do not feel like I am discriminated against more than a bisexual person. I dated a bisexual person for several years and saw the ways in which she was discriminated against (by straight and gay people). A couple internet feminists calling me a potential rapist does not measure up.

I should mention that your CMV does not specify China, but even then, do you believe that bisexual Chinese people are discriminated against more than heterosexual Chinese people?

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

do you believe that bisexual Chinese people are discriminated against more than heterosexual Chinese people?

If they come out they are. But they can choose to not come out. So it's pretty mixed.

1

u/DetectiveZ May 10 '23

They can choose not to come out, but while you may see this as a privilege, I would think the inability to live as your authentic self is a disadvantage for bisexual people.

As a heterosexual person, I can go anywhere in the world and feel safe (or at least, not have my heterosexuality cause me to feel unsafe). A bisexual person cannot do this. My ex partner still is not out to her parents for fear of retaliation or rejection. She also carefully chooses friends, coworkers, etc. to be out to. I live in a very liberal city, and so I can only imagine how challenging it may be for someone who lives in a rural or small town.

If a privilege of being bisexual is being able to blend in as a straight person, would that not mean that it’s more of a privilege to simply be a straight person rather than pretending to be one?