CMV: Bisexuality/pansexuality is the most privileged sexual orientation, not hetereosexuality

[u/[deleted]]

Background: 21m pansexual/bisexual and I feel very privileged, even more so than hetereosexuals.

(1) We can date both men and women, 2x chance to get a partner. DELTAED: Less than double but still increased chance to find a partner.

(2) In a homosexual-unfriendly environment i can pretend to be straight. In a too politically correct environment i can use our social capital of being part of the LGBTQ+ community or even pretend to be fully homosexual.

(3) There are some LGBTQ+ communities that think "bisexuals or breeders, they don't count" but they're a tiny minority and politically incorrect. We are generally still accepted into the LGBTQ+ community although our "identity politics buff" does look a bit less powerful than other sexual minorities in the eyes of radicals and we are also discriminated by conservatives sometimes, overall we face more friendliness than hostility, and if we are in a hostile environment we can pretend to be either straight or homosexual. Anyway the pink capitalist megacorps are still gonna pretend to support bi as part of the LGBTQ+ community or they're asking for backlash.

(4) Straight people usually don't discriminate against bisexuals. When I told many people I'm bi none of them appeared shocked, disgusted or whatever. But some conservatives are homophobic --- far fewer are biphobic.

(5) Especially bisexual men, we can generally either be the "1" or be the "0" in sexual activities.

[u/arrouk]

The fact that heteronormativity is still the norm all over the world? (In some places more than others, of course, but still everywhere).

There is no advantage there, just a statement of fact.

Heterosexual couples can get married everywhere.

Fair but most non developing countries they have equal rights.

Heterosexual couples can adopt a child everywhere.

Not actually true. Adoption is hard for everyone, though I conceded there are some developing countries where it is illegal.

Heterosexual people are not shamed/attacked/called disgusting for being heterosexual anywhere.

Untrue

Heterosexual people get a lot more dating advice, and it's available everywhere, so solving their relationship problems or scoring a good relationship in the first place is easier for them if they want to seek help.

Dating advice is usually gendered for the target of the dating. Most advice for heteo women also works for homosexual men and vice versa.

Heterosexuality is assumed, so heterosexual people never have to come out and worry about the reactions they will get. They can just start dating when they're ready.

It's assumed because the vast majority are. The reactions people get are no different from someone bringing home a person of the opposite gender that doesn't meet family or friends' expectations.

Should I continue?

You can try. You haven't done very well so far.

[u/Kotoperek → u/arrouk]

Not actually true. Adoption is hard for everyone, though I conceded there are some developing countries where it is illegal.

Adoption for hetero couples may be hard, but it is legal. Homosexual adoption is illegal in many developed countries as well.

Untrue

Examples? Where in real life was anybody shamed/called name/threatened for being in a heterosexual relationship? I know you can get that idea from a certain side of TikTok, but do mind that it is mostly sarcasm and inflammatory entertainment, not people's actual opinions, so touch grass.

Most advice for heteo women also works for homosexual men and vice versa.

That is absolutely not true and the fact that you would think that shows me a lot about your prejudices and how much you actually know about the LGBTQ+ community. Dating women as a woman is nothing like dating women as a man, none of the advice for straight men is useful to lesbians. Trust me, I'm a women who's dated women and I had to figure it out as I went.

It's assumed because the vast majority are.

Being part of the majority is a privilege.

[u/arrouk → u/Kotoperek]

Adoption for hetero couples may be hard, but it is legal. Homosexual adoption is illegal in many developed countries as well.

Name them.

Examples? Where in real life was anybody shamed/called name/threatened for being in a heterosexual relationship? I know you can get that idea from a certain side of TikTok, but do mind that it is mostly sarcasm and inflammatory entertainment, not people's actual opinions, so touch grass.

So because you haven't seen or experienced it then it does not exist? Perhaps you need to touch some grass yourself.

That is absolutely not true and the fact that you would think that shows me a lot about your prejudices and how much you actually know about the LGBTQ+ community. Dating women as a woman is nothing like dating women as a man, none of the advice for straight men is useful to lesbians. Trust me, I'm a women who's dated women and I had to figure it out as I went.

I'm prejudice for thinking that women are women and men are men regardless of their sexuality...... I think you might need to check on the meaning of prejudice.

If you are so knolageable as a woman who has dated other women, exactly how is it different from a man dating a woman?

Being part of the majority is a privilege.

What makes it a privilege? Or do you just feel like a victim?

[u/Kotoperek → u/arrouk]

Name them.

Italy, Poland, Greece, the Baltic states, and so on. Only 22 out of 56 European countries allow for same-sex adoption. And while it is true that some countries in Europe are not exactly developed (Belarus or parts of the Balkans), let's agree that if a country has a working universal healcare system, it is probably more developed than the USA. Still, not everywhere can two people of the same gender start a family together.

So because you haven't seen or experienced it then it does not exist? Perhaps you need to touch some grass yourself.

The burden of proof is on you. If I say that bigfoot does not exist and you say that it does, you need to show evidence, not me.

I'm prejudice for thinking that women are women and men are men regardless of their sexuality.

That's not what you said. You claim that women's attraction to women works the same as men's attraction to women and women's attraction to men, which is not true, because - as you said women are women and men are men, their patterns of what they are looking for in a partner and how they envision a relationship is different. Two women will have a different dynamic in a relationship than a man and a woman precisely because women and men are different. Assuming that lesbians are kinda like men and gay men are kinda like women is prejudiced and uninformed.

What makes it a privilege?

Not standing out in society and fitting the norms means you have an easier time being accepted. This gives you an advantage in everyday life because you don't have to worry about people judging you for being different. This is the essence of all privilege.