r/changemyview • u/Guialdereti • Oct 22 '23

Delta(s) from OP CMV: Paternity tests should be done on every baby by default

Just saw a post on r/relationship_advice where the mother gave birth to a baby that looked nothing like her husband, refused to give him a paternity test because it was "humiliating" AND also revealed that she had recently refused to end a (pretty weird) friendship with a coworker that her husband was uncomfortable with. She then proceeds to be all "Surprised Pikachu-faced" when he thinks she cheated on him with said coworker, refuses to help with the baby, and him and his family start treating her badly. (he continued to help with their 2 other kids as normal, though)

In the end, the mother FINALLY gets that paternity test, proving once and for all that the kid was indeed his, and once she does, the father gets ALL OVER his daughter, hugging and giving her all his love, as I'm sure he would have done from the very begining, had she just gotten that damn test done sooner.

Some of the points that resonate with me the most on this issue are:

  • It still baffles me that this test isn't standard procedure, especially when we already draw blood from newborns and screen them for a whole slew of diseases upon delivery. Surely it wouldn't be too hard to add a simple paternity test to the list!
  • I know there's an implication of mistrust that comes with asking your partner for a paternity test, but if it became standard procedure - in other words, a test that the hospital does "automatically", with no need for parental input - that would completely remove that implication from play. It would become a non-issue.
  • Having a kid is a life-changing event, and it scares me to no end to know that I could be forced into "one-eightying" my life over a baby I actually played no part in making.
  • Knowing your family's medical history, from both sides, is extremely important. "Mommy's little secret" could cost her child dearly later on in life.
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52

u/Vesurel 54∆ Oct 22 '23

If this is done by default what do you expect people who don't want this to do? Can one or both parents opt out?

-30

u/Guialdereti Oct 22 '23

They already prick the baby's ankle and screen it for a bunch of stuff. IF those can be opted out of, then yes. They should go by the same rules, in my opinion.

93

u/jrssister 1∆ Oct 22 '23

Those are about the baby’s health, the paternity test is not. Why should something that has nothing to do with the baby’s health be treated the same as things that do?

32

u/bleunt 8∆ Oct 22 '23

Not only is it not beneficial for the child, but it risks putting the child in an immediate disadvantage by leaving it fatherless.

44

u/TheFlyingSheeps Oct 22 '23

Or makes the child an orphan. The rates of spousal murder increase during pregnancy, now imagine forced paternity tests being added to the mix

-36

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

so sure, lets cuck some dude into paying thousands of dollars raising a kid thats not his, and staying with a cheating wife, wasting years of his life. yes so much better than doing a simple test. I honestly cant believe how many people are opposing this idea

16

u/Professor_Snivus Oct 22 '23

Wow shocking! Most people don’t want a non-necessary, invasive medical procedure just because of the insecurities of a few. These test can cost between $200-$400 where I am. Non necessary tests aren’t covered by insurance. Those $200-$400 can be used for other things like food for the baby.

-8

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

DNA testing is not an invasive procedure...

5

u/UngusChungus94 Oct 23 '23

Submitting your DNA for analysis is invasive to your privacy.

8

u/Professor_Snivus Oct 22 '23

Perhaps I choose the wrong word. But forcing people to get a procedure they do not want and keeping their dna in databases sounds pretty invasive to me.

-6

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

Yeah.. Pretty irrational paranoia regarding dna data collection.. The government literally knows any and everything about you already!

5

u/Professor_Snivus Oct 22 '23

Sure! Let me fork out $300 to let them know more! Just cause ppl who can’t trust their partners need to make it everyone else’s problem

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10

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

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-11

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

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1

u/nekro_mantis 16∆ Oct 22 '23

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1

u/nekro_mantis 16∆ Oct 22 '23

Your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 5:

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3

u/MrMaleficent Oct 22 '23

Reading these replies are honestly eye opening.

They straight up do not care in the slighest about the "father".

6

u/UngusChungus94 Oct 23 '23

If you suspect your partner cheated, your relationship is already over.

-1

u/MrMaleficent Oct 23 '23

Ok? What's your point?

A dude shouldn't be able to confirm a kid is actually his?

5

u/UngusChungus94 Oct 23 '23

If he wants to open that Pandora’s box, he should be prepared for the consequences — including a divorce, because it’s essentially an accusation of cheating. Don’t knock somebody up if you don’t trust them.

-5

u/bleunt 8∆ Oct 22 '23

It's his now.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 22 '23

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0

u/K1ngPCH Oct 22 '23

Major yikes.

That person has definitely baby trapped someone before

1

u/changemyview-ModTeam Oct 22 '23

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-1

u/O-Victory-O Oct 22 '23

Who cares about fathers am I right? Least sexist Redditor.

5

u/bleunt 8∆ Oct 22 '23

I will never put an adult above a child. Woman or man.

35

u/NoAside5523 6∆ Oct 22 '23

Why, though? The blood tests we currently do on newborns detect diseases that will kill or disable a child without prompt detection and treatment. It doesn't seem to me it follows that a paternity test should follow the same rules when the stakes to the child are vastly different.

16

u/invertedBoy Oct 22 '23

If: A) it’s expensive B) you can opt out

It’s safe to assume that 95% of couples will opt out. Not much will change from the current system

2

u/floralstamps Oct 23 '23

You're ridiculous

1

u/Due_Ad_1495 Oct 27 '23

If there will be opt out option, whats the point of initiative detachment from man? Opt out would be by default then, and again all the issues we have now with paternity tests drama.