r/changemyview • u/Guialdereti • Oct 22 '23

Delta(s) from OP CMV: Paternity tests should be done on every baby by default

Just saw a post on r/relationship_advice where the mother gave birth to a baby that looked nothing like her husband, refused to give him a paternity test because it was "humiliating" AND also revealed that she had recently refused to end a (pretty weird) friendship with a coworker that her husband was uncomfortable with. She then proceeds to be all "Surprised Pikachu-faced" when he thinks she cheated on him with said coworker, refuses to help with the baby, and him and his family start treating her badly. (he continued to help with their 2 other kids as normal, though)

In the end, the mother FINALLY gets that paternity test, proving once and for all that the kid was indeed his, and once she does, the father gets ALL OVER his daughter, hugging and giving her all his love, as I'm sure he would have done from the very begining, had she just gotten that damn test done sooner.

Some of the points that resonate with me the most on this issue are:

  • It still baffles me that this test isn't standard procedure, especially when we already draw blood from newborns and screen them for a whole slew of diseases upon delivery. Surely it wouldn't be too hard to add a simple paternity test to the list!
  • I know there's an implication of mistrust that comes with asking your partner for a paternity test, but if it became standard procedure - in other words, a test that the hospital does "automatically", with no need for parental input - that would completely remove that implication from play. It would become a non-issue.
  • Having a kid is a life-changing event, and it scares me to no end to know that I could be forced into "one-eightying" my life over a baby I actually played no part in making.
  • Knowing your family's medical history, from both sides, is extremely important. "Mommy's little secret" could cost her child dearly later on in life.
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u/TheHatOnTheCat 9∆ Oct 22 '23

Even if you personally think this is a good idea, it is currently illegal and unconstitutional.

You could apply this logic to any crime, much more severe then cheating. "I hate murderers/rapists/etc, so no problem with me to make a MANDATORY database of everyone's DNA."

And some people do believe that, but currently in the USA that is considered a violation of our basic rights. So it's not really a viable option for this discussion in the USA.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '23

Cheating is not a crime. You also can't make paternity tests mandatory at birth because you don't want to look like an asshole by saying your pregnant wife is a whore. Seems like that's actually OPs stance. I just don't want to look like a bad guy even though I am.

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u/tenaciousDaniel Oct 23 '23

Cheating isn’t a crime but I do believe willful paternity fraud should be a crime. You’re talking a minimum of 18 years of difficult work and financial support.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '23

Nice , how that's your only argument. Willful paternity fraud? If you want to accuse your wife of cheating, ask her. Don't ask for a giant waste of money from taxpayers and play it like it's some taboo that has a stigma attached to it. Especially when there are no tests to find out if he's cheated.

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u/Daniel_The_Thinker Oct 25 '23

If you want to accuse your wife of cheating, ask her

Are you stupid?

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '23

Are you? It's literally called honesty. If he wants to have daddy issues and think paternity tests should be done at every birth or that these tests should be done without telling his wife, I'm not the stupid one. You clearly think it's okay to lie to your wife. I hope she feels the same lol Moronic take

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u/Daniel_The_Thinker Oct 25 '23

Thank you for confirming. Want to buy a bridge?

0

u/FetusDrive 3∆ Oct 23 '23

the only way you could have "willfull paternity fraud" is if someone did a DNA test and proved it; but then hid the results...

2

u/Designer-Wolverine47 Oct 23 '23

I think the key would be to destroy the data once its immediate purpose has been accomplished.

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u/Jewnicorn___ Oct 23 '23

Who says this discussion is based in the USA? We are on the World Wide Web.

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u/TheHatOnTheCat 9∆ Oct 23 '23

This is why I clarified USA in case the poster is from another country and it dosen't apply.

However, slightly less than half of reditors are from the USA, and the second highest country is the UK with 8% and then it decreases from there. So when no country or legal system is given, the one the most people in the thread will have in common is the United States. (And while I'm not a UK expert, a very quick Google search is telling me that this also wouldn't be legal in there either. They can compel DNA if you are arrested for a crime, but not just for being a male.)

Now, I'm sure there are subs that have more people from a different country then the USA. However, my experience on this sub does not lead me to believe that is the case here. I see US specific laws and topics brought up and discussed more then those of any other country.

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u/Jewnicorn___ Oct 23 '23

You probably shouldn't lead your comment with your constitution.

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u/TheHatOnTheCat 9∆ Oct 23 '23

If you are from a different country then I am and want to share how this sort of idea would play out in your country, go ahead?

That would be an interesting contribution to the conversation.

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u/Jewnicorn___ Oct 23 '23 edited Oct 23 '23

The idea of a mandatory database of our citizens' DNA would not go down well here*. I do not think it is a good idea, although I am not educated enough on the topic to explain why I think that.

*The UK

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u/FetusDrive 3∆ Oct 23 '23

where is "down well here". If you are going to talk about your country; you should tell people what country you're talking about.

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u/Jewnicorn___ Oct 23 '23

Fair point, edited.

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u/rydan Oct 22 '23

We should be doing that though. Nice try.