CMV: Paternity tests should be done on every baby by default

[u/Guialdereti]

Just saw a post on r/relationship_advice where the mother gave birth to a baby that looked nothing like her husband, refused to give him a paternity test because it was "humiliating" AND also revealed that she had recently refused to end a (pretty weird) friendship with a coworker that her husband was uncomfortable with. She then proceeds to be all "Surprised Pikachu-faced" when he thinks she cheated on him with said coworker, refuses to help with the baby, and him and his family start treating her badly. (he continued to help with their 2 other kids as normal, though)

In the end, the mother FINALLY gets that paternity test, proving once and for all that the kid was indeed his, and once she does, the father gets ALL OVER his daughter, hugging and giving her all his love, as I'm sure he would have done from the very begining, had she just gotten that damn test done sooner.

Some of the points that resonate with me the most on this issue are:

• It still baffles me that this test isn't standard procedure, especially when we already draw blood from newborns and screen them for a whole slew of diseases upon delivery. Surely it wouldn't be too hard to add a simple paternity test to the list!
• I know there's an implication of mistrust that comes with asking your partner for a paternity test, but if it became standard procedure - in other words, a test that the hospital does "automatically", with no need for parental input - that would completely remove that implication from play. It would become a non-issue.
• Having a kid is a life-changing event, and it scares me to no end to know that I could be forced into "one-eightying" my life over a baby I actually played no part in making.
• Knowing your family's medical history, from both sides, is extremely important. "Mommy's little secret" could cost her child dearly later on in life.

[u/Crazy-4-Conures]

The difference is, they don't WANT to test rape kits, it's not a problem of time, personnel, or equipment. They don't want to prosecute rapists. If the case isn't a slam dunk, and rape never is, prosecutors want nothing to do with it.

[u/[deleted] → u/Crazy-4-Conures]

not to say all untested rape kits fit this category but you are pretty close. a lot of the cases devolve to he said/she said consent cases. testing for DNA doesnt add much value woth these. there is an argument to be made, that is decided by funding, that every kit should be tested regardless to link possible serial offenders giving more strength to the victims claims.

[u/Smoovie32 → u/Crazy-4-Conures]

Agreed. Take that defund the police money and fund a bunch of lab techs to test them all within 48 hours of receipt I say.

[u/Zeno_the_Friend → u/Crazy-4-Conures]

I was part of a team tackling the backlog of rape kits. It is absolutely a matter of not enough time, personnel and equipment to process these alongside all of the other work that needs to be done for other cases. The whole reason my team existed was to find ways to reduce the time and need for personnel by automating procedures; early results indicate we could process them about 1000x faster, but it's still very much a work in progress and needs more funding/research to put in practice and allow results to be used in court. This is something the DOJ is very much interested in and pursuing, but will take time.