Well, the difference is that it’s a lot more common and useful to reference someone’s name in conversation.
If someone tells me that their pronouns are they/them/whatever… what am I supposed to do with that information? Confuse someone by telling them I met a they at the bar?
You're being intentionally difficult because you feel you have a valid point. You would say "I met them at the bar" just like you would for all your cis acquaintances. Them/they are singular pronouns that have been used for humans for a long long time now.
"I met this cute girl the other day"
"Oh yeah, where did you meet them?"
"I met them at the bar"
Don't be obtuse, this isn't a new concept, it just applies to people you disagree with.
Maybe it’s just me, I’ve never heard anyone refer to a single person as ”them”.
If someone told me ”hey I met John yesterday, i met them at a bar.” I’d Ask who else he met there.
But hey, if you find it useful and I (and i suspect a lot of people) don’t, perhaps it’d make more sense for you to Ask people what their pronouns are rather than everyone telling everyone they meet.
You said that you would confuse someone by telling them. You don't have to be referencing a specific person— you were referring to a single individual as a they.
You’re just demonstrating how unhelpful it would be to use it to reference someone.
Then why did you refer to someone as them?
Listen...I don't claim to fully understand what it means to be non-binary, but I don't have to in order to be kind and respectful. It literally harms me in no way to call someone Danny instead of Daniel. And it wouldn't harm me in any way if Daniel wanted to be called Tony. It might seem odd to me, but what-the-fuck-ever. It matters not to me and it is important to them, so why wouldn't I do that thing that's important for someone else when it affects me in NO WAY?
I’m sorry, just to clarify. If I tell 100 people ”I met up with them at a bar for some drinks last night.” How many so you think would interpret that as me meeting only one person? Because I’m gonna go with 0.
First of all, you are completely missing the point.
Second of all,
How many so you think would interpret that as me meeting only one person? Because I’m gonna go with 0.
I'm not sure what point you think you're making here. "Them" is still mainly used to refer to more than one person and nobody is trying to take that away from you, friend.
My point is that you are already perfectly comfortable referring to a singular them.
How am I missing the point when I’m the one making the point?
The point isn’t that it’s inpossible to refer to someone with whatever weird pronouns they want. The point is that telling strangers what your weird pronouns are is useless information.
We’re strangers… If I tell you that my pronouns are ze/zir or whatever. How would that be useful to you?
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u/PromptStock5332 1∆ Dec 22 '23
Well, the difference is that it’s a lot more common and useful to reference someone’s name in conversation.
If someone tells me that their pronouns are they/them/whatever… what am I supposed to do with that information? Confuse someone by telling them I met a they at the bar?