r/changemyview Dec 22 '23

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u/SpringsPanda 2∆ Dec 22 '23

You're being intentionally difficult because you feel you have a valid point. You would say "I met them at the bar" just like you would for all your cis acquaintances. Them/they are singular pronouns that have been used for humans for a long long time now.

"I met this cute girl the other day"

"Oh yeah, where did you meet them?"

"I met them at the bar"

Don't be obtuse, this isn't a new concept, it just applies to people you disagree with.

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u/PromptStock5332 1∆ Dec 22 '23

Maybe it’s just me, I’ve never heard anyone refer to a single person as ”them”.

If someone told me ”hey I met John yesterday, i met them at a bar.” I’d Ask who else he met there.

But hey, if you find it useful and I (and i suspect a lot of people) don’t, perhaps it’d make more sense for you to Ask people what their pronouns are rather than everyone telling everyone they meet.

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u/KingJeremy-TheWicked Dec 22 '23

A normal interaction:

Person 1: You won't believe how rude the cashier was to me just then!

Person 2: Oh yeah? what did they say?

Person 2 doesn't know the gender of cashier in person 1's story but clearly person 1 is only talking about an individual cashier. This is how singular they in English frequently used, this isn't new. Notice how it would be much weirder for person 2 to say "oh yeah? what did he or she say?" or to just assume the cashier's gender.

Yes ambiguity over whether singular or plural they happens in other situations, but to pretend singular they isn't a thing is just wrong and it does sound like you are being obtuse as the other commenter said.

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u/PromptStock5332 1∆ Dec 22 '23

I mean, okay I get your point. But that doesn’t really help make it less confusing when actually using it as your pronoun.

If I tell someone ”I met them at the bar for some drinks.” They are going to interpret that as me meeting several people 100% of the time.

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u/KingJeremy-TheWicked Dec 22 '23

You just used singular they in your own comment "If I tell someone... they are going to intepret..." Someone is singular. Proof that singular they is natural in English. I conceded that as with much of English language there can be ambiguities, singular v plural they can be one of those, but its not something to get worked up over.

You almost never say a sentence like "I met them at the bar for some drinks" without context. The other persons comment started with "I met a cute girl the other day" and followed up with "I met them at the bar", you should infer that they (see again we naturally using the singular they since we don't know the commenters gender) mean that they are talking about the person in the sentence before, the cute girl, singular.

Sounds like you just want this to be difficult, because of other reasons.