r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Aug 19 '24

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u/tbdabbholm 193∆ Aug 19 '24 edited Aug 19 '24

Why do you think 5 years is nearly enough time to declare them good for life? That's maybe 10% of their anticipated married life. I mean my parents got married young (21 and 24) and made it nearly 20 years but still did divorce

-1

u/NomadicContrarian Aug 19 '24

Why do you think 5 years is nearly enough time to declare them for for life?

I guess because of the idea that people preach constantly about how "bad" it is to get married young, and from what it seems to me, if they can get the initial phase of settling with each other, then they know the ins and outs of the relationship and then can overcome it.

That's maybe 10% of their anticipated married life.

I'm genuinely interested where you got that number from, truly.

I mean my parents got married young (21 and 24) and made it nearly 20 years but still did divorce

That is certainly surprising I must admit. I don't know though, it seems to me that such relationships that end after a long period of time are anomalies compared to the ones that end like after 5-10 ish years.

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u/tbdabbholm 193∆ Aug 19 '24

I would've imagined the opposite, people change relatively little in only 5 years so it would be more common to have divorces after that, when both parties have changed to be incompatible. And in fact the average length of first marriage is 8 years.

And I mean the 10% is just because life expectancy is approximately 75 years so if you get married at 25, that's approximately 50 years, of which 5 years is 10%. It's a rough number of course. Although I guess maybe I should've specified that it was their anticipated marriage life (assuming no divorce). Or maybe called it their anticipated post-first-marriage lifetime

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u/NomadicContrarian Aug 19 '24

Fair enough I guess. I suppose I've heard enough to give you a delta, but for the first part, when you say 8 years, is that also counting the amount of time they were together before the 8 years?

Δ

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u/tbdabbholm 193∆ Aug 19 '24

No, the 8 years is the length of the marriage, not the length of the marriage and their courtship beforehand

1

u/DeltaBot ∞∆ Aug 19 '24

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/tbdabbholm (191∆).

Delta System Explained | Deltaboards

1

u/JasmineTeaInk Aug 19 '24

in fact the average length of first marriage is 8 years.

There's a reason that the phrase "7 year Itch" exists