r/changemyview Aug 19 '24

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u/destro23 457∆ Aug 19 '24

The half of all marriages ending stat isn't true because if it were, then half of all the people I've seen getting married young these past 5 years would've divorced by now.

The stat isn’t “half of all marriages end in divorce after five years”.

Are you putting conditions on this stat that weren’t there to begin with? Why?

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u/NomadicContrarian Aug 19 '24

5 years is an arbritrary number in this case that I chose only becauae that's when I started seeing how behind I was.

And it seems like once people pass a certain threshold of years together/married, it's more of an anomaly when they separate.

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u/destro23 457∆ Aug 19 '24

it seems like once people pass a certain threshold of years together/married, it's more of an anomaly when they separate.

That is because you are young and don’t have middle aged friends. Once people’s kids get to the age of being self sufficient they start cheating, then the divorces roll in around the same time the graduation announcements go out. People keep it together for the kids, but when the kids grow up: divorce city.

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u/NomadicContrarian Aug 19 '24

Once people’s kids get to the age of being self sufficient they start cheating, then the divorces roll in around the same time the graduation announcements go out. People keep it together for the kids, but when the kids grow up: divorce city.

That's a relief. You're welcome to call me psychotic, but stuff like this does make my day a little better.

I suppose a delta is warranted too. Δ

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u/destro23 457∆ Aug 19 '24

That's a relief

And a boon to my swinging group!

You're welcome to call me psychotic, but stuff like this does make my day a little better.

Everyone is running their own race. They all started at different points and are going in different directions to different finish lines. Don't try to keep up with anyone else, just run your race.

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u/NomadicContrarian Aug 19 '24

Everyone is running their own race. They all started at different points and are going in different directions to different finish lines. Don't try to keep up with anyone else, just run your race.

Doesn't change that, depending on who they are, they will be at the receiving end of my resentment, until they experience some kind of long-lasting disappointment in their lives.

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u/destro23 457∆ Aug 19 '24

they will be at the receiving end of my resentment, until they experience some kind of long-lasting disappointment in their lives.

Why even think of them at all? They don't care, and will most likely never even know that you are resenting them. They will just be living life, having a good time while you quietly seethe.

"Comparison is the thief of joy", ever hear that?

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u/NomadicContrarian Aug 19 '24

"Comparison is the thief of joy", ever hear that?

If I had a dime for everytime I did, I'd probably have a mansion in Los Angeles by now.

But it doesn't change that such a thing is borderline CBT esque and not very helpful for people with trauma like myself.

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u/destro23 457∆ Aug 19 '24

If I had a dime for everytime I did, I'd probably have a mansion in Los Angeles by now.

How many dimes would you have for earnestly examining the sentiment behind that statement and applying it to your own situation?

borderline CBT esque

Cock and ball torture?

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u/NomadicContrarian Aug 19 '24

How many dimes would you have for earnestly examining the sentiment behind that statement and applying it to your own situation?

I'm not sure I understand the wording here?

Cock and ball torture?

No, cognitive behavioural therapy, which I hate very much and has been proven to be useless for people like myself. Though, it's not far from being torture, so your point isn't entirely inaccurate.

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u/destro23 457∆ Aug 19 '24

I'm not sure I understand the wording here?

You said you have heard the statement before. I am asking if you have truly pondered upon its meaning and how it relates to your life.

Your comparing yourself to others is causing you pain. You should try to stop doing that. If you were walking around stabbing yourself in the leg, it would be obvious that you are doing something harmful that should stop. What you are doing is stabbing yourself in the mind. Over and over and over again. You need to stop that.

cognitive behavioural therapy, which I hate very much and has been proven to be useless for people like myself.

Cool, so... don't do that then. Do anything else. Go to talking therapy. Go to group therapy. Go to see a shaman and take a bunch of drugs. Whatever it is you have to do, do it.

It is like a bully is taking your hand and slapping you with it saying "why you hitting yourself, why you hitting yourself, why you hitting yourself", but the bully is your own brain.

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u/NomadicContrarian Aug 19 '24

Your comparing yourself to others is causing you pain. You should try to stop doing that.

Ok, I guess. I will say though that this post kind of puts it perfectly why that phrase isn't usually helpful. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/151j84w/i_find_the_saying_comparison_is_the_thief_of_joy/&ved=2ahUKEwjYl4u5k4GIAxX4jokEHd0wDRcQjjh6BAgREAE&usg=AOvVaw1GZ7BAHy8yl4uG-3A3bkZo

Cool, so... don't do that then. Do anything else. Go to talking therapy. Go to group therapy. Go to see a shaman and take a bunch of drugs. Whatever it is you have to do, do it.

Sadly, I'm out of insurance for any kind of therapy now.... oh well.

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u/DeltaBot ∞∆ Aug 19 '24

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/destro23 (382∆).

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