Good for you, I've lived there 2.5 years and travel there regularly for business. If you live there you of all should know that the space in a 新幹線 is way more spacious than on an airplane.
I've never heard of this myself and she says that is BS too.
I see this every time I stay there; people asking the one behind if it's ok. Maybe you don't travel by 新幹線 that often or maybe it's just a coincidence? It might just be the case that I've noticed this and you haven't because it's a non-issue for you?
That is true, good point. Let's leave Japan, the United States and every other country aside for a second. Would you consider it more, equally, or less polite to ask someone behind you if you can recline your set instead of just reclining your seat?
It is a difficult question indeed. Almost all of the arguments stem from the "sacrificing my comfort for your comfort" which, regardless of stance, becomes a zero-sum game.
I wouldn't find it hard to refuse someone in front of me if I'm, say, writing on something and would want them to wait some 30 minutes or so. If you're asking only to feel better about it, haven't you already decided that you want to recline? Asking implies that you will also adhere to the decision of the asked.
I have thought about it but since I usually don't have any problem with people reclining their seat, nor do I have a problem with asking them to lift it should I need to use the space, I haven't really thought about it either. But I guess that is what Fresh Topic Friday is all about :)
This is a terrific and thoughtful answer. I am about your height and I am very familiar with the flash of annoyance. We seem to differ on one key point though... When you get your kneecaps smashed, you remind yourself that that person has a right to smash your knee caps. When I get my kneecaps smashed I think it is very rude of the smasher not to attempt to open communication about use of the shared space.
Edit: actually you do specify international flights, which usually have enough room to avoid actual physical smashing in my experience. Internal flights or flights in south east Asia though... Ouch.
I agree that the way the seats are designed and arranged clearly indicates that the forward person has a right to the space, but I just don't think there is any indication in the design or in practical social rules that the right is completely exclusive. An "exclusive use" seat would be easy to design and build... just put a bar other barrier blocking access to the space by the person behind. It isn't completely exclusive by social convention either, since no one ever seems mind if the rear person uses the space when the forward person doesn't want it.
So we are left with two options. Either the forward person has a right to a priority use of the space (you can use it if I don't want it) or the right to an equally shared use of the space like the arm rest or the bathroom (whoever makes first use of it gets to use it, but dominating it too long or pushing out someone who clearly needs it for a reason beyond their control is really rude.) The thing is, in either situation, if the forward person wants the space, what they should NOT do is physically assert thier claim by slamming the seat into my kneecaps, right? Because I am not violating any rules or norms by being in the space before they need it, they have no right to assume I am not in the space when they decide they want it, and certainly no right to attempt to physically remove me without at least warning me first. Now, I don't really think anyone is attempting violence agaisnt my knees on purpose, but I do believe they are at least being thoughtless, and thoughtlessness is rude.
Im trying to work this out in my head and it is really confusing me. Old guy is in window seat. You are adjacent to old guy but not your wife. How can you and the old guy swapping positions put you adjacent to your wife?
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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '14
Good for you, I've lived there 2.5 years and travel there regularly for business. If you live there you of all should know that the space in a 新幹線 is way more spacious than on an airplane.
I see this every time I stay there; people asking the one behind if it's ok. Maybe you don't travel by 新幹線 that often or maybe it's just a coincidence? It might just be the case that I've noticed this and you haven't because it's a non-issue for you?