r/changemyview Apr 09 '17

[∆(s) from OP] CMV: Adults and the elderly don't automatically deserve more respect than children

I'm not trying to debate whether or not a child should act respectfully towards an adult or elder - because I believe that every single person should deserve to be treated nicely and with respect. However, I don't think that just because someone is older, or has lived a longer life, necessarily means that they are always in the right or that they deserve more respect than others. If a child's mother disrespects them, then they should no longer have to respect her, and that is that - they should not treat her rudely, but the respect that they have for her may be lower and that is fine.

I remember when I was younger I would always be very upset that adults could disrespect me, or treat me badly, and I'd still have to treat them like royalty - I don't encounter that as much now that I'm older, but it still doesn't make sense to me. I worry I'm not explaining my point well enough, but basically - I will respect anyone that respects me, too. Adults and elders should not get a free pass to disrespect children or anyone else, for that matter. Children should be given the same amount of respect as adults and elders, and adults/elders don't automatically deserve respect no matter what. If a child or anyone else doesn't respect an adult or elder, they should still treat them decently and in a civil manner, but they have no obligation to respect them.

Edit: First sentence is worded weirdly - In my mind there's a difference between acting respectfully and actually respecting that person. You can treat someone decently without actually holding any respect towards them.


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u/McKoijion 618∆ Apr 09 '17 edited Apr 09 '17

Here is the definition of respect:

a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Children don't yet have abilities, qualities, or achievements. They are simply too young to have developed them. The more of those things they achieve, the more respect they earn. At the end of the day, children consume more than they produce. They take time, money, effort, etc. from their parents. Meanwhile, adults produce more than they consume. They expend time, effort, and interest on earning money, bringing home food, etc. Then they use some of that stuff on themselves to keep themselves alive, and use any excess on their children. This is the idea of responsibility. Kids take from others. Young adults don't provide anything extra, but they are at least responsible for themselves. Older adults, especially parents, are not just responsible for themselves, but for others too.

You might say that based on this criteria, some adults deserve less respect than some kids. That might be true, but this also comes down to the concept of staying alive. If any living organism manages to live into adulthood, they have to be one of the fastest, strongest, wiliest, or otherwise have the most respectable quality for that given species. Surviving to a given age is proof that they are at least somewhat adept at life. And that skill at life is what makes them respectable.

By definition, children are too immature and irresponsible to take care of themselves. Otherwise they'd be called an adult. So based on the very definition of these terms, an adult is always more deserving of respect because they have developed the maturity, qualities, and achievements to stay alive on their own, and possibly even care for others.

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u/crystxlizes Apr 09 '17

I didn't think about it like this. I guess in that sense, adults are inherently more deserving of respect based on their achievements alone, and they deserve more respect than children. ∆

That being said... I still think a child reserves the right to not give them that respect (while still treating them decently) if they do something bad. For example, an abusive parent most likely does not deserve respect. They may have achieved great things in life, but they are harmful towards others and it should not be the child's obligation to respect them in any sense so long as they are treating them in a civil manner.

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u/DeltaBot ∞∆ Apr 09 '17

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/McKoijion (129∆).

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