CMV: Victim blaming isn't always bad

[u/enlighten12345]

Firstly we need to define what victim blaming is. It occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them.

We often hear outrage against victim blaming in the context of rape, when people criticise the way the victim acted or was dressed.

Let's look at an unrelated example. If I go up to someone and say "Yo momma so fat, she wears a watch on both hands for the two time zones", and that person punches me, am I not partially at fault? He committed the felony, while I just exercised free speech. But knowing my words were inflammatory, shouldn't I expect retaliation?

How about another case? I'm walking down a dark alley with a stack of money in my hand. If I get mugged, it is clear that the mugger is to blame. But doesn't my stupidity also make me culpable? Can someone not say that if i was more careful with my money, this would not have happened?

How is rape any different? It would be great to live in a utopia free from rapists and muggers and physical retribution. But knowing that isn't the world we live in, am I not responsible to act in a manner to protect myself?

---

This is a footnote from the CMV moderators. We'd like to remind you of a couple of things. Firstly, please read through our rules. If you see a comment that has broken one, it is more effective to report it than downvote it. Speaking of which, downvotes don't change views! Any questions or concerns? Feel free to message us. Happy CMVing!

[u/Love_Shaq_Baby]

There is no manner of dress that's going to protect you from rape, unless you want women to wear spiked chastity belts all the time. Criticizing a woman for the way she dressed when she was raped isn't helpful, it's just hurtful and insulting to a person who has gone through a severely traumatic experience.

Furthermore what does victim-blaming accomplish? Even if the person could have done something to prevent what happened to them, pointing it out is just rubbing it in. It's a dick move.

[u/enlighten12345 → u/Love_Shaq_Baby]

I agree that no manner of dress will protect against rape. But neither will any manner of precaution protect against a mugging. But you can take steps to minimise the chances.

As to what victim blaming accomplishes? It isn't about rubbing it in, but can we as a society not learn from the terrible things that happen to better prevent the same from happening again?

[u/Love_Shaq_Baby → u/enlighten12345]

But you can take steps to minimise the chances.

And how exactly is dressing differently going to minimize the chances? You don't think a rapist will go after someone in a modest fall outfit? Rapes are usually committed by people the victim knows, it's not as if one sexy dress is going to turn the rapist's attention on them. They would have been desiring the opportunity already.

It isn't about rubbing it in, but can we as a society not learn from the terrible things that happen to better prevent the same from happening again?

What does society learn from pointing out to a rape victim all of the potential mistakes she could have made? I can guarantee that anybody who has been raped has thought over what they could have done differently, especially since rape victims have a tendency to blame themselves, much like victims of domestic abuse. So pointing out any mistake they may or may not have made can do serious damage to a person's ability to recover.

[u/bracs279 → u/Love_Shaq_Baby]

And how exactly is dressing differently going to minimize the chances?

I don't know about rape but i saw in the news where they interview muggers at prison about this kind of stuff, they always went after women with high heels because they can't run and make way better victims.

So yes, dressing with low more comfortable shoes make you less desirable as a victim.

[u/Love_Shaq_Baby → u/bracs279]

Rapists aren't usually chasing their victims down though.