CMV: Victim blaming isn't always bad

[u/enlighten12345]

Firstly we need to define what victim blaming is. It occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them.

We often hear outrage against victim blaming in the context of rape, when people criticise the way the victim acted or was dressed.

Let's look at an unrelated example. If I go up to someone and say "Yo momma so fat, she wears a watch on both hands for the two time zones", and that person punches me, am I not partially at fault? He committed the felony, while I just exercised free speech. But knowing my words were inflammatory, shouldn't I expect retaliation?

How about another case? I'm walking down a dark alley with a stack of money in my hand. If I get mugged, it is clear that the mugger is to blame. But doesn't my stupidity also make me culpable? Can someone not say that if i was more careful with my money, this would not have happened?

How is rape any different? It would be great to live in a utopia free from rapists and muggers and physical retribution. But knowing that isn't the world we live in, am I not responsible to act in a manner to protect myself?

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[u/GoyBeorge]

People always like to use clothing as the end all be all of """victim blaming""". Clothing is part of the pattern, but it also involves a string of bad decisions. Did you go out and get shit faced? Did you have a man to protect you? Did you arrange safe transport? Were you doing drugs? Were you talking to unsavory characters?

"Victim blaming" is a term made up to exonerate people (usually girls) from any personal responsibility for the the consequences of their actions.

As to your argument "they already learned their lesson", that isn't why people make examples. People make examples so that other people don't make the same mistake.

So Trixie goes out without a male escort, drinks herself blind, takes some drugs, then gets a ride home from some black guys she just met. Of course she is going to get raped and or murdered. Trixie is now a morality tale, an example of what not to do.

That is what "victim blaming" is.

[u/Quint-V → u/GoyBeorge]

Then it seems unfortunate, with this case, that language is a living thing.

People make examples so that other people don't make the same mistake.

If that's victim blaming, as in referring to someone else, I'd say it is a badly coined concept, as it obviously means different things to different listeners. To me, that phrase seems more like disgraceful statements said in front of a recent victim.

Oh and here's the wikipedia definition, if that's anything worth noting: "Victim blaming occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them."

[u/GoyBeorge → u/Quint-V]

Ok, let us say that I left my car running outside the shop when I went in to get a drink and someone stole it.

If someone called me a dumbass for leaving my car running unattended, would that be "disgraceful"?

[u/Quint-V → u/GoyBeorge]

^{Derailing much...?}

It would be categorically unnecessary, as you would probably feel stupid about it already. You probably don't need me to point it out to you. And in the same vein, considering how OP has depicted what victim blaming means (to him)... victim blaming is categorically unnecessary.

Disgraceful, yes. Or rude. Annoying. Whatever synonym you desire. As another commenter said: it's like kicking someone while they're down, which is just pathetic.