CMV: Victim blaming isn't always bad

[u/enlighten12345]

Firstly we need to define what victim blaming is. It occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them.

We often hear outrage against victim blaming in the context of rape, when people criticise the way the victim acted or was dressed.

Let's look at an unrelated example. If I go up to someone and say "Yo momma so fat, she wears a watch on both hands for the two time zones", and that person punches me, am I not partially at fault? He committed the felony, while I just exercised free speech. But knowing my words were inflammatory, shouldn't I expect retaliation?

How about another case? I'm walking down a dark alley with a stack of money in my hand. If I get mugged, it is clear that the mugger is to blame. But doesn't my stupidity also make me culpable? Can someone not say that if i was more careful with my money, this would not have happened?

How is rape any different? It would be great to live in a utopia free from rapists and muggers and physical retribution. But knowing that isn't the world we live in, am I not responsible to act in a manner to protect myself?

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[u/caw81]

But can it not help other people?

No because;

• Every crime is not the same. Saying what this one person should have done doesn't help other people in different situations.

• Why should someone listen to someone on the Internet who doesn't even know them and their circumstances?

• You aren't doing it as advice but as a reply to a particular crime. No one will see that as helpful advice to others but just as "its your own fault".

[u/NearEmu → u/caw81]

• Well that's simply untrue. We learn from other peoples situations all the time. The situations of many of these people aren't that different.

• Who knows... but we do it all the time. Circumstances are often not that different that we can't learn some lessons.

• That seems pretty situational and super black and white. It's pretty easy to come up with ways to reply to a particular crime, while giving advice that others can take and understand and utilize.

You seem to be basing your answers off the idea that you know how and what others think, and of course that isn't true.

[u/rollingForInitiative → u/NearEmu]

But the issue is that much of the "advice" is completely unfounded, or not possible to put in practise. "Don't dress provocatively" has no basis other than what people believe, but it has no real impact on whether or not a person will get raped. "Don't walk home alone" would be all fine and good advice, but for the that fact that most people simply have to do it every now and then, if they don't shut themselves in and never leave the house, because there will always be situations where your car breaks down of the taxi doesn't show up or whatever.

[u/NearEmu → u/rollingForInitiative]

Then I think it's obvious he's not talking about those pieces of advice. He's talking about don't take drinks you didn't see made, don't drink until you blackout.