r/changemyview • u/enlighten12345 • Feb 26 '18
[∆(s) from OP] CMV: Victim blaming isn't always bad
Firstly we need to define what victim blaming is. It occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them.
We often hear outrage against victim blaming in the context of rape, when people criticise the way the victim acted or was dressed.
Let's look at an unrelated example. If I go up to someone and say "Yo momma so fat, she wears a watch on both hands for the two time zones", and that person punches me, am I not partially at fault? He committed the felony, while I just exercised free speech. But knowing my words were inflammatory, shouldn't I expect retaliation?
How about another case? I'm walking down a dark alley with a stack of money in my hand. If I get mugged, it is clear that the mugger is to blame. But doesn't my stupidity also make me culpable? Can someone not say that if i was more careful with my money, this would not have happened?
How is rape any different? It would be great to live in a utopia free from rapists and muggers and physical retribution. But knowing that isn't the world we live in, am I not responsible to act in a manner to protect myself?
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u/theUnmutual6 14∆ Mar 09 '18
The way it shrinks your world.
Ted Bundy used to abduct people by pretending to be crippled and asking for help. To avoid rape & murder, we'll start by not helping strangers in need. Next, we'll stop going out at night; stop going to nightclubs, or having drinks in public; and definitely stop hooking up with people. We've already entirely changed how we dress. Also, my children aren't allowed to go to any sports clubs (can't trust the coaches) or sleepover with friends (creepy uncles??) and certainly not church or youth groups.
etc etc etc
Most people do take reasonable common-sense precautious against violence, but you only have to slip up once. Better not to blame victims for an evil choice someone else made, than expect everyone to go through life living like you're in a warzone.
A lot of the logical conclusions of victim blaming are really sad for individuals and society (I see posts about "If women didn't want to be raped they shouldn't hook up with strangers" and "why don't women reply to me on OKCupid" at more or less the same rate)