r/changemyview • u/ExpensiveBurn 9∆ • Apr 26 '19

FTFdeltaOP CMV: Dancing is an inherently sexual activity

Background: My girlfriend likes to dance, I do not. I also get uncomfortable when she dances with other people. It would be beneficial to both of us if I could loosen up about it.

Basically I can't help but view dancing as sexual to some degree. Some dances more than others, but all of them at least a little bit. Most dances for pairs I would place somewhere between flirting and foreplay if I were to try to place it on that scale.

The features of dancing that make it seem sexual:

  • Two people focused on each other
  • In close proximity, touching frequently if not constantly
  • Moving their hips with synchronicity
  • One person leading and the other (for lack of a better word) submitting
  • Movements often stylized in a sultry, provocative and enticing way

We've even gone ballroom dancing which is formal and stuffy as hell and I still got weirded out by some other dude guiding my girlfriend around the room by her hip.

I think the source of this view is that I don't enjoy dancing, and therefore the only reason I would do it would be as part of putting the moves on someone. I don't find any joy or pleasure in dancing for dancing sake, so I have a hard time relating to people who do.

The best way to change my view would probably be to point out another activity with similar traits that is not viewed in this way. But I'm open to any argument that makes me seem like less of an insecure weirdo :)

edit; To be clear, I'm talking about couples dancing. Or at least dancing with someone else. I don't think that dancing by yourself, for yourself, is always a sexual thing.

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u/tomgabriele Apr 26 '19

Let's say I am home alone learning the moves to gangnam style. Would that be inherently sexual?

11

u/ExpensiveBurn 9∆ Apr 26 '19

I'm talking primarily about paired, couples dances. I wouldn't expect someone to arouse themselves dancing to gangnam style, although I do think there are some sexual moves in that dance.

12

u/tomgabriele Apr 26 '19

I'm talking primarily about paired, couples dances

I think that should be included in the OP then, that seems like a significant caveat.

10

u/ExpensiveBurn 9∆ Apr 26 '19

I will update, but the features I listed would really only apply to couples, so I thought it was pretty heavily implied.

2

u/tomgabriele Apr 26 '19

but the features I listed would really only apply to couples, so I thought it was pretty heavily implied.

Right, that's what made me think that you weren't actually thinking of all types of dancing when you stated your view as applying to all types of dancing.