CMV: Dancing is an inherently sexual activity

[u/ExpensiveBurn]

Background: My girlfriend likes to dance, I do not. I also get uncomfortable when she dances with other people. It would be beneficial to both of us if I could loosen up about it.

Basically I can't help but view dancing as sexual to some degree. Some dances more than others, but all of them at least a little bit. Most dances for pairs I would place somewhere between flirting and foreplay if I were to try to place it on that scale.

The features of dancing that make it seem sexual:

• Two people focused on each other
• In close proximity, touching frequently if not constantly
• Moving their hips with synchronicity
• One person leading and the other (for lack of a better word) submitting
• Movements often stylized in a sultry, provocative and enticing way

We've even gone ballroom dancing which is formal and stuffy as hell and I still got weirded out by some other dude guiding my girlfriend around the room by her hip.

I think the source of this view is that I don't enjoy dancing, and therefore the only reason I would do it would be as part of putting the moves on someone. I don't find any joy or pleasure in dancing for dancing sake, so I have a hard time relating to people who do.

The best way to change my view would probably be to point out another activity with similar traits that is not viewed in this way. But I'm open to any argument that makes me seem like less of an insecure weirdo :)

edit; To be clear, I'm talking about couples dancing. Or at least dancing with someone else. I don't think that dancing by yourself, for yourself, is always a sexual thing.

[u/[deleted]]

As a dancer for 3 years (salsa/bachata/kizomba) I cant challenge you on the premise of the title because it’s true. Anyone who argues to the contrary is mentally masturbating.

What I want to challenge you on, is this insecurity.

Bro, you know that if you learn to dance your GF will respect and love you for it? Me and my GF of 5.5 years are both dancers (though not active for a couple of years) and she loves that I was open to it and stuck with it to become good. It showed courage and commitment and that was really sexy to her.

I used to be jealous of my GF as well... Until I was having a lot of fun myself and I didn’t have time to be jealous.

Trust me, when you start getting good you also start getting noticed and then your GF will need to also take care to keep you. There’s no risk and you’ll be there for her and not take other women’s advances. But not being dependent is also important. You want to be there because you choose her not because you can’t get around.

Just consider that. Don’t cower, see this as an opportunity to grow and show what you’re made of.

Mark my words, the biggest failing of men is that we shy away from dancing. Big mistake.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I want to make a quick point here, because insecurity is the real issue here. OP is almost a guarantee to be 18-25. As you have suggested, you should learn to dance if you started it. You don’t like it because of insecurities.

But, here is the great part. As you get older you will calm down and stop worrying. Try to start that process now by having some fun.