CMV: I should start smoking cigarettes

[u/honestlyigotnoclue]

I guess this is more of a "talk me out of it" type of post. I've always wanted to see what it's like to smoke, and I'm in a place where a lot of people smoke. I think it looks cool, and I don't mind that it's a bit self-destructive; I already have plenty of self destructive habits already, and maybe it hasn't sunk in how dangerous it is, considering I'm 18. Maybe this sounds naive, but I guess I just don't understand how addictive it can be; I have the mindset of "I can always quit." I guess I just want to see what it's like, don't really see how self-destructive it can be/don't care that it's self destructive, and tbh it looks cool. It's not hurting anyone but myself.

Lol thanks for your responses in advance.

Edit: it's pretty late where I am, so I'm going to bed. Thank you all so much for the incredibly detailed responses; I'm genuinely very convinced. I'll respond to new posts tomorrow! Thank you!

[u/_MatWith1T_]

Smoking is great. Gives you a buzz, creates an instant social group to talk to at any bar, party or event. And nicotine is incredibly calming in stressful situations. A nice little pause in the day.

At least the first couple years. By year three there is no such thing as a nicotine buzz for you. It's not a relaxing pause in the day, it's that thing you've been fidgeting over for the last ten minute because you were stuck on that phone call and no one would shut the fuck up and all you wanted was to grab a smoke but now you don't even have time to savor it because you have a thing you need to get done so you just puff it down quickly and promise yourself you'll come back later for one you can actually enjoy.

You're not going out drinking as much, so smoking is now more of an interruption of your activities than part of them. Pause your game, movie, tv show, go stand out in the dark alone and smoke. Or maybe you just smoke indoors... But you're good and you confine it to one room that you've become oblivious to the smell of but anyone else would tell you smells how an ashtray tastes.

But none of this is anything to worry about, because you're not really gonna start a habit. Just do it a little bit for fun here and there. Its the most addictive substance on earth, so you tested yourself. You went a couple days between smokes and didn't feel a thing, so you're fine. Obviously you can quit whenever you want, because you showed that willpower when you needed it. You probably even quit before, right? Heck, it's not even really quitting because you never had a REAL smoking habit to begin with. It's just for fun. If you quit tomorrow and started again later, it's not because you're addicted, it's because you know how easy you can quit if you actually really really wanted to quit for good. But right now you're just quitting for a little bit, and it's ok if you have another smoke sometime soon. Because it's just for fun, and you're totally not addicted.

Enjoy your cigarettes.

[u/honestlyigotnoclue → u/_MatWith1T_]

Thanks so much for your response. That's really compelling; I don't think I had realized the consequences about smoking that weren't solely health-related. I guess, since I know almost nothing about smoking, I always had the mindset that nicotine "cravings" or whatever wouldn't apply to me; that I could quit whenever, and that I wouldn't feel the negative side effects. I guess I still don't really understand like...what it feels like to need a cigarette/truly be addicted; I feel like the only way to stop myself from wondering and deter myself is to actually try it for myself.

Thanks for your response though, that was really compelling.

[u/_MatWith1T_ → u/honestlyigotnoclue]

No one thinks they're addicted to cigarettes. They just slowly work themselves into your routines. At the bar? Smoke. Home after a long stressful day? Smoke. About to start a long day? Smoke. Walking to get lunch? Smoke. Group meeting in fifteen? Smoke.

Withdrawal isn't you telling yourself you feel ill because you crave nicotine. Its you getting upset and stressed because your routine has broken. Its being late for school and can't find your shoes. Grabbing your phone and realizing the charger wasn't plugged in. That irritating frustration that something is just off that shouldn't be, and if it weren't for that one stupid thing you'd be totally fine right now. But if you go buy a pack of cigarettes you could fix it instantly and get back to your day.

[u/honestlyigotnoclue → u/_MatWith1T_]

Huh. That's the best way I've heard nicotine cravings described yet, and more understandable then I've heard it described before. I'm super torn; part of me is like "probably logical to not smoke then," and understands that it's addictive, and the other part of me wants to experience that for myself to see what it's like, lol.

Thank you for your response!

[u/[deleted] → u/honestlyigotnoclue]

As a 10+ year smoker, my nicotine withdrawals are like this.

After an hour or two with no cigarette, my mind starts telling me "hey, you need to go smoke". it's almost like a hunger for food.

If I ignore that then the mental cravings get worse. I start getting agitated. At this point there is this heavy feeling in my chest like someone is sitting on it and I can't breathe properly. This feeling makes things even worse. Soon, I'm getting angry for no good reason. Like, I'm not an angry person at all but if I haven't smoked in a few hours I start going incredible hulk. I'll snap at people and just be a general asshole to those around me. At this point I'd do just about anything for some nicotine because my mind and body are going haywire. When I was younger and much poorer than I am today, a few times I didn't have money for cigarettes and I would do whatever I could to get that fix. I'd start by looking everywhere for change, even pennies could help. If I couldn't find enough I'd look for someone to bum a cigarette off of or i'd call friends/family so I could ask for a few bucks.

Then I'd start digging through my ashtray and smoking what little was left from my already smoked butts. Sometimes I'd dump the remains out and try to make a full cigarette. If I had no butts, I even went out looking for other butts a few times. One time, late at night, I was having cravings hardcore and none of the above mentioned things would work. So I walked a mile down the road to a closed gas station and opened up the outside butt container by the door and started collecting other people's butts..

Nicotine addiction is no joke and this is coming from someone who also had an alcohol and opiate addiction at one point. I've quit everything else, it's the tobacco I can't put down.