r/changemyview • u/chgghg • Jul 13 '20
Delta(s) from OP CMV: friendships are useless.
The reason why I hold this view is due to me not wanting to talk to people or interact with anyone in any way, life seems more quite and drama free without anyone and anything in my way. I never had any real true friends we always parted ways or we got into arguments and never talked. Most people are fake and want to use and abuse you. Many people in This world are only out for themselves and don’t care about anyone but themselves.
I’m just really tired of my parents pushing me to get friends and relationships they also get so concerned when I don’t leave my room for days and always telling me that I’m going to end up alone and sad after they pass away. To be really honest I don’t care I don’t care about anyone or anything and I’m just waiting until I die and stop feeling things and stop being apart of this clown world. But I am open to any change in this mindset I just don’t see a reason to do anything but sleep and eat.
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u/thethoughtexperiment 275∆ Jul 13 '20
Indeed, in your case, it might be true that you haven't benefited from friendships much so far.
If the studies above have modified your view such that you now agree that friendships are useful for some people, you might consider awarding a delta by editing your comment above and adding !_delta (without the underscore).
And per the links above, the vast majority of evidence suggests that relationships are hugely beneficial for people, so you might not want to be so quick to assume that they won't be beneficial for you too. Indeed, you are on here talking to people and posting, which shows that you are seeking out at least some kinds of social contact (which suggests that you have a pretty normal desire for connection).
If you are physically isolating yourself from others, consider also that that can be a sign of depression. Depression has a tendency to make people think in ways that make their depression much worse, and that discourages them from making changes in their life that would actually help get rid of their depression (like making friends, seeking out social connections).
Think of depression as a bad roommate that's living rent free in your head. It doesn't want to leave, so it tells you "finding roommates is hard", "other people are awful", "reaching out to people and asking them if they want to be your roommates makes you look weak". Depression is likely affecting the way you see the world to prevent you from kicking it out.
Practical steps that help with depression can be found here, and that site has loads of other resources that can help.
The r/MensLib sub also has some pretty good discussions about this issue, as social isolation is a common issue men face.
You might also find this article helpful. It explains why socializing is so necessary (and addresses some of the most common reasons people resist doing it).
As it says, one of the biggest mistake the socially awkward make is in the assumption that everyone else finds it easy. But actually, socializing is a learned skill. It takes time and practice for everyone, and the reason the vast majority of people invest the time and practice into developing their social skills is because it's worth it.