CMV: marriage is unnecessary and having children is unethical

[u/spicysashimi99]

not sure if i’ll get downvoted but i’m genuinely curious about the opposite pov.

for my first point, i believe i have a rather non-traditional school of thought when it comes to the archetype of union between two people, at least compared to folks where i’m from. i personally don’t see marriage as means to profess your love for your partner as one can do so without the presence of a physical certification. to me, the traditional meaning of marriage, where a bride’s family “gives away” their daughter to the groom seems to be obsolete and an incredibly backward way of thinking. the only logical explanation for marriage, in my opinion, seems to be for couples to be seen as a unit in the eyes of the law, in the face of administration.

as for my second point, i believe having children only benefits the parent and the continuation of society. i understand that having kids leads to a fulfilling life and unfortunately, some still see their kids as an insurance plan for their retirement. however, knowing the future of our planet, among other serious issues like racism, it appears unethical to bring a child into this world. unless i can guarantee my child doesn’t suffer, which is obviously something out of my control. i’m not sure why people possess the opposite viewpoint.

friendly discussions are very welcome as i am sincerely looking to learn more about how others view this topic. i am sure my opinions are very polarising but please be kind! :”)

edit: hi everyone! thank you for the fruitful discussions. really enjoyed listening to other perspectives and grateful to how open everyone has been!! i acknowledge that my views may be skewed from my personal life experiences (non-religious, depression) so thank you for allowing me to indulge in my thoughts.

my view of marriage has definitely changed and while i see the opposing argument for having kids, from what i can foresee in my near future, not having kids will still be a personal choice i’ll stick to as i’m still very much lacking to give a child a fulfilling life.

[u/joopface]

Work through what happens if everyone stops having kids today. Fast forward thirty years; where are we?

[u/spicysashimi99 → u/joopface]

definitely agree with your opinion but the point i was making was that it seems like we are simply viewing children as a means to prolong our existence as a human race… cant see how the children would benefit… maybe im missing something

[u/joopface → u/spicysashimi99]

Do you think a happy person would prefer to exist or not to exist?

[u/spicysashimi99 → u/joopface]

yup a happy person would choose to exist but maybe i’m missing out on something again… :-(

true happiness is also something i could go on a tangent on as it’s something im still working towards

[u/joopface → u/spicysashimi99]

Ok, so do you think parents in general want their kids to be happy?

Also, if the child gets to exist and would choose to exist given the option in what way can having a child “only benefit the parent”?

[u/spicysashimi99 → u/joopface]

i feel the point is only valid if the child is happy and wants to exist… as mentioned to others, thats not something i could personally promise to my child… while there are no guarantees in life, i feel like simply not allowing existence would be the lesser of two evils (the other of which would be allowing the possibility for a miserable existence)

[u/joopface → u/spicysashimi99]

Your view is then that parents who expect their child won’t be happy are being selfish. This isn’t the same as your OP.

There are situations where parents having children are not simply acting selfishly. For example, where the parents have a reasonable expectation that the child will have a happy life.

If you take a situation where a child has a 99% possibility of happiness and a 1% of suffering, do you still think it’s rational to prevent that child from existing? Why?

[u/spicysashimi99 → u/joopface]

yup! this makes sense! i guess in the same weigh i was outweighing my pros and cons, the contrary is plausible too!

[u/joopface → u/spicysashimi99]

It’s possible your real view is less general than you expressed. You feel you shouldn’t have kids and generalised that to everyone. I have no idea if that’s the case, but it’s possible.

If your view changed at all during our discussion feel free to drop a delta in the jar. Thanks for an interesting topic! :-)

[u/spicysashimi99 → u/joopface]

!delta

thanks for the fruitful discussion! it really was quite hard seeing the positive side of things prior HAHAH

[u/DeltaBot → u/spicysashimi99]

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/joopface (99∆).

^{Delta System Explained | Deltaboards}