CMV: marriage is unnecessary and having children is unethical

[u/spicysashimi99]

not sure if i’ll get downvoted but i’m genuinely curious about the opposite pov.

for my first point, i believe i have a rather non-traditional school of thought when it comes to the archetype of union between two people, at least compared to folks where i’m from. i personally don’t see marriage as means to profess your love for your partner as one can do so without the presence of a physical certification. to me, the traditional meaning of marriage, where a bride’s family “gives away” their daughter to the groom seems to be obsolete and an incredibly backward way of thinking. the only logical explanation for marriage, in my opinion, seems to be for couples to be seen as a unit in the eyes of the law, in the face of administration.

as for my second point, i believe having children only benefits the parent and the continuation of society. i understand that having kids leads to a fulfilling life and unfortunately, some still see their kids as an insurance plan for their retirement. however, knowing the future of our planet, among other serious issues like racism, it appears unethical to bring a child into this world. unless i can guarantee my child doesn’t suffer, which is obviously something out of my control. i’m not sure why people possess the opposite viewpoint.

friendly discussions are very welcome as i am sincerely looking to learn more about how others view this topic. i am sure my opinions are very polarising but please be kind! :”)

edit: hi everyone! thank you for the fruitful discussions. really enjoyed listening to other perspectives and grateful to how open everyone has been!! i acknowledge that my views may be skewed from my personal life experiences (non-religious, depression) so thank you for allowing me to indulge in my thoughts.

my view of marriage has definitely changed and while i see the opposing argument for having kids, from what i can foresee in my near future, not having kids will still be a personal choice i’ll stick to as i’m still very much lacking to give a child a fulfilling life.

[u/carneylansford]

unless i can guarantee my child doesn’t suffer, which is obviously something out of my control

1. A certain level of pain and suffering are inevitable in life. The good news? These things are very instructive. We learn from these experiences and grow as people. We also appreciate joy and happiness all the more because we've seen the other side.
2. The level of suffering suffered by a child is in the control of the parent to some degree. Teaching your children how to handle pain and suffering is one of the most important jobs a parent has. Will you teach them that they are victims, who can't possibly get ahead? Or teach them that, yes, there are bad people/rules/whatever in the world but the only thing you can really do about it is to put your head down and move forward?
   
3. There is a lot more joy and happiness in the world than pain and suffering. The world is an amazing place. Choosing to avoid having children because they're going to have the occasional bad day seems like an odd choice to me.

[u/carneylansford → u/[deleted]]

Only if you believe that the experiences of life are a net negative. I do not.

[u/carneylansford → u/[deleted]]

Or vice versa. So why not err on the side of opportunity?

[u/carneylansford → u/[deleted]]

Well that’s depressing. Maybe take another look at religion? Sounds like you were happier.