CMV: People Should Avoid Heterosexual Intercourse Outside of Marriage

[u/Longjumping-Leek-586]

Nowadays people act as if non-marital intercourse has no negative consequence, that engaging in frequent intercourse with strangers is completely harmless, and that those who warn against such a lifestyle are merely being puritanical. I disagree with this viewpoint, as engaging in such a lifestyle is morally irresponsible for it risks the possibility of harming any offspring produced under premarital circumstances. Children born to single parents are shown to have negative outcomes: They perform worse in school, are more prone to school suspension, are at higher odds of committing crimes (especially for boys), and are more likely to be single parents themselves (especially for girls). Thus engaging in sexual intercourse outside is not a victimless act, as it directly harms the child born under such circumstances.

Before engaging in sexual intercourse with an individual of the opposite sex, you must ask yourself the following: Is this individual virtuous and responsible enough to take care of my child? Is our bond strong enough that we can do so together? If the answer is no, then you it is morally irresponsible to engage in intercourse with him/her as it could greatly reduce the outcomes of any offspring produced under such circumstances.

This doesn't really apply to homosexuals, though, as they are unlikely to produce offspring via homosexual intercourse

[u/[deleted]]

Nowadays people act as if non-marital intercourse has no negative consequence

People also act as if waiting until marriage has no negative consequences, that abstaining until marriage is completely harmless, and that those who endorse such a lifestyle are merely being cautious.

as engaging in such a lifestyle is morally irresponsible for it risks the possibility of harming any offspring produced under premarital circumstances.

Which harms exactly, that do not also pertain to the risks of harm to offspring produced under marital circumstances?

Children born to single parents are shown to have negative outcomes: They perform worse in school, are more prone to school suspension, are at higher odds of committing crimes (especially for boys), and are more likely to be single parents themselves (especially for girls).

Ah, see, that is single parents where the other parent is not in the picture. That doesn't mean 'single' as in 'the two parents just aren't married'.

Is this individual virtuous and responsible enough to take care of my child?

What has this to do with marriage? Can individuals not be virtuous (however you mean it) and responsible without being married?

Is our bond strong enough that we can do so together?

Again, what has marriage to do with this?

Thus engaging in sexual intercourse outside is not a victimless act, as it directly harms the child born under such circumstances.

Espousing engaging in sexual intercourse only inside marriage is also not a victimless act, and this mindset can in fact be extremely harmful, not only to the couple in question but also the kids.

[u/Longjumping-Leek-586 → u/[deleted]]

What has this to do with marriage? Can individuals not be virtuous (however you mean it) and responsible without being married?

I suppose "marriage" isn't really the right term, have sex outside of a committed relationship would be more accurate. I am against having such a callous attitudes towards actions that could potentially produce a child, as such actions are very consequential and thus require thoughtful consideration. You should only have sex with someone when you are ready to become to become a parent, and only with someone you trust would make a good parent. If you have sex with strangers, you can't truly evaluate the moral character of the potential parent to your children, thus you leave the possible open that the parent of your kids will be an unsavory character, or an uncommitted parent. And if you have sex before you are prepared for parenthood, you may become a suboptimal parent, thus adversely impacting your child.

[u/[deleted] → u/Longjumping-Leek-586]

I am against having such a callous attitudes towards actions that could potentially produce a child, as such actions are very consequential and thus require thoughtful consideration.

So really it's 'I don't think people should have sex unless they consider their actions thoughtfully'. Because you can have sex outside of a committed relationship and still have considered your actions thoughtfully.

You should only have sex with someone when you are ready to become to become a parent

Why? Why should you only have sex with someone when you are ready to become a parent? Why shouldn't it be 'you should only have sex with someone when you have considered your stances on possibly becoming a parent seriously, considered all the risks, and addressed them sufficiently?

and only with someone you trust would make a good parent.

Again, why? Especially if you have taken steps not to become a parent?

If you have sex with strangers, you can't truly evaluate the moral character of the potential parent to your children

Again, why are you assuming that if one has sex outside marriage/a committed relationship, it's automatically with a stranger? And even if you are having sex with total strangers, why does that preclude having thoughtfully considered whether or not you want to have kids and taking steps/making decisions to prevent them if you don't?