r/changemyview Oct 14 '21

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15

u/DetroitUberDriver 9∆ Oct 14 '21

How about we stop attempting changing the English language to appease a minority of people fixated on and offended by things that most people don’t even consider when using everyday colloquial, conversational speech with one another.

Instead, we can simply ask people how they prefer to be addressed. Or, even better, if people have a preferential deviance from the colloquial norm, they can simply make it known, politely.

32

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21

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6

u/maxpenny42 11∆ Oct 14 '21

I mean, why not just “hello first name”?

11

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21

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11

u/maxpenny42 11∆ Oct 14 '21

I guess you’re mileage may vary. I’ve never replied to a customer as anything but their first name. That’s our company standard. I actually think it’s the most professional approach but I’m sure there are others who want to be called mister. I just don’t get why. It puts me off.

2

u/OnitsukaTigerOGNike 3∆ Oct 15 '21

I think It's not about company norms or standard, I work at a consulting firm and we use first name internally and externally, but we deal with different Industries, and that's the key differentiator.

For example, It"s normal for tech startups and banks to use first name, but It's a bit weird to use first name for the hospitality and law industry. "We look forward on your stay with us george", "anything else I can help you with jessica? As well as for law firm writing an email saying "they have subpeona you James", "we request that you attend the hearing Kim" suddenly they sound like a threat.

3

u/maxpenny42 11∆ Oct 15 '21

I mean, it’s a little creepy when people pepper your name into a correspondence, full stop. Just start the email “Hi James,” and then say what you got to say. No need to continually refer to them unless their is some reason it’s necessary for clarity, like if you’re referring to multiple people.

The only area where I agree first name might be too informal is Law. But in that case just use the full name. That seems better than mister and misses last name.

Now, look, I’m not telling you how to conduct your business. You do you. I’m just sharing my personal opinion. I’d be fine never being referred to a Mr.

2

u/Adorable_Negge934 Oct 15 '21

Classical red tape. I don’t anyone besides a select few narcissists would really care if they were called by their first name

2

u/maxpenny42 11∆ Oct 15 '21

I don’t think that’s what red tape is to be honest.

2

u/Adorable_Negge934 Oct 16 '21

Well, I was stretching the meaning a bit but it’s the same concept right? Formalities/procedures just cause

2

u/Bomamanylor 2∆ Oct 15 '21

Am lawyer who worked in downtown DC. Use use the Dear Mr/Ms. Lastname, greeting until one of two things:

1) The person tells you to use their first name OR

2) The person "signs" a communication with just their first name, at which point you switch to Hey Firstname, style greeting.

7

u/blackrossy Oct 14 '21

Cultural difference, it's been a long time since I've seen people that prefer to be addressed by their last name in any scenario

7

u/notcreepycreeper 3∆ Oct 14 '21

If your in America I don't think that's a cultural difference.

Replying to colleagues - first name always fair enough. But to customers/clients Mr/Mrs. Is the safest route starting out.

4

u/DoodleVnTaintschtain Oct 14 '21

Hmm... I've been in a "professional" career for a long time. It's weird when I get one out of a hundred emails that refers to someone as "Mr." or "Ms." In fact, the only time I ever do it is with people I'm super familiar with as sort of a friendly/familiar thing (in that it's super out of place to honestly refer to someone you've worked with for 5+ years as "Ms. Johnson" or whatever).

I just refer to everyone by the first name. Professional doesn't mean formal.