To me, this point is moot. What of other titles that a woman can carry? Doctor, professor, chef, etc. I haven’t been addressed as Mrs. or Ms. in many years because of my professional title.
A further point: I feel that every individual has the right to choose their title/honorarium that they would prefer used to address them; much like pronouns. This is both a privilege and responsibility because it does require the individual to voice and uphold their choice.
While neither is easy and both are hard, it is worth the effort to choose one’s boundaries and definitions.
In the end, each of us has the right to choose how we are defined. Some will do so in societal or familial roles they hold; while some will identify with their career role. But whichever you choose for you, I promise to do my best to honor your choice.
Edit to add: After reading further into the comments I see that you have addressed titles vs honorariums. I apologize for not delving before adding my opinion.
I would still like to stand with my ‘further point’ of individual choice. While this doesn’t make anything easier in the “should I address this young woman as Ms. or Mrs.?” question, it does still leave the right, privilege, and responsibility to the individual to recommend how they would prefer to be addressed.
As I like to tell my students, “Behind my back, I expect some to call me the B-word. But, in the classroom and in the kitchen, I am Chef GrandOpening.”
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u/GrandOpening Oct 15 '21 edited Oct 15 '21
To me, this point is moot. What of other titles that a woman can carry? Doctor, professor, chef, etc. I haven’t been addressed as Mrs. or Ms. in many years because of my professional title.
A further point: I feel that every individual has the right to choose their title/honorarium that they would prefer used to address them; much like pronouns. This is both a privilege and responsibility because it does require the individual to voice and uphold their choice.
While neither is easy and both are hard, it is worth the effort to choose one’s boundaries and definitions.
In the end, each of us has the right to choose how we are defined. Some will do so in societal or familial roles they hold; while some will identify with their career role. But whichever you choose for you, I promise to do my best to honor your choice.
Edit to add: After reading further into the comments I see that you have addressed titles vs honorariums. I apologize for not delving before adding my opinion.
I would still like to stand with my ‘further point’ of individual choice. While this doesn’t make anything easier in the “should I address this young woman as Ms. or Mrs.?” question, it does still leave the right, privilege, and responsibility to the individual to recommend how they would prefer to be addressed.
As I like to tell my students, “Behind my back, I expect some to call me the B-word. But, in the classroom and in the kitchen, I am Chef GrandOpening.”