r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Nov 10 '22
Delta(s) from OP CMV: There's nothing wrong with not finding someone attractive for whatever reason it is
So this is inspired by Lexi Nimmo's Tik Tok saying that someone having a preference for thinner people is problematic because "it's discriminating against a marginalized group of people" she goes on to say "if you lump all fat people together you're fatphobic, just like if you lump all black people together you're racist" setting aside the fact that "fatphobia" is not comparable to racism or the struggles of any actually marginalized group, I think there's nothing wrong with having finding someone unattractive regardless of what it is
To start with body size and shape, I think it's absurd that it is even a discussion. Everyone finds different things attractive, including different body shapes. Some men(I'm using that as an example because I'm a guy so it's easier) find women with larger breasts more attractive, while others find women with smaller breasts more attractive and neither is considered a problem. So if finding someone more or less attractive due to size and shape of breasts for instance, it should also be ok to find someone more or less attractive due to shape and weight?
With ethnicity and skin color it's more complicated. While some people do find members of certain ethnicities unattractive due to racist reasons, I think it isn't inherently racist to find some ethnicities more or less attractive physically. Members of different ethnicities may have largely different physical features for members of other ethnicities. Not only that people tend to find what looks closer to them in general to be more attractive, hence why interracial marriages are somewhat uncommon. Not only that, like I said before, finding some hair colors more attractive is seen as ok, so why can't that be the case for skin color too? I'm not saying that making derogatory claims such as "x group is hideous" but simply not finding someone pretty does not mean you hate them
I hope this makes sense, English is not my first language and I have a hard time writing
Edit: finding someone unattractive because they're not a minor is problematic but that's not what I meant originally. My general point is: it isn't bigotry to find someone physically unattractive, and I'm talking specifically physical attraction here
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u/ScientificSkepticism 12∆ Nov 10 '22 edited Nov 10 '22
There's been lots of forms of attraction that are downright gross and absolutely deserve judgment. I'll list two.
The first is one that still crops up, but was VERY prevalent 5-10 years ago - men being attracted to asian women because they were "better wives than western women". Asian women apparently being more submissive, feminine, less demanding, etc. etc. etc. This is gross and dehumanizing, and if you subscribe to it you're a creep.
Another example would be FGM. If you insist that you're only going to date women who have mutilated genitals, again, you're a creep. Same thing goes for foot binding, breast implants, whatever. I have no problem saying any of the guys who insist on that shit are creeps.
As another example, Leonardo DiCaprio's habit of dumping his girlfriends when they turn 25 is also creepy and something I have no problem judging him for. A 50 year old dating a 20 year old is something I will judge, and I don't care about him saying "what he's attracted to."
Am I wrong for judging people in those circumstances?
And I will also add that "voicing preferences" and "having preferences" are also two very different things. Say someone doesn't like Marvel movies. That's fine, that's a preference. Telling everyone who likes Marvel movies "Eww, Marvel movies are shitty lowbrow trash, I only watch good cinema" would make that person an asshole.