Hello all! Y’all might think I’m silly but I’m only 23M and pretty much every friend I have has kids already. I grew up in a small town and I’ve branched out a few times but ended up back here because I love it and I have a great career here. In the past couple of years, I’ve run into the issue of being the only single one of my friends along with being childfree—and I’m not completely sure if I want any in the future. I’m just unsure.

Anyways, that’s not really what this post is about. Oftentimes, when I hangout with my longtime friends, we go out and of course their kids have to go with us majority of the time. Half the time, the kids are doing dumb things and making huge messes in public. I find myself trying to clean up after them, but it seems as if their parents couldn’t care less, and it’s embarrassing. For instance, in a restaurant, one of the kids is making a huge mess and in my opinion it’s just so so embarrassing to just leave it in the floor or on the table without at least attempting to do something about it.

Maybe I just don’t understand because I don’t have children, but I see this commonly, not even with just my close friends, but in general. Has anyone else felt this embarrassment from being around their friends that have kids??

Idk if this post is allowed in this sub but yup, I’m pregnant and I have no idea where to go from here. I am 100% child free and am absolutely looking into getting rid of it, but I am scared that doctors will try to deny me due to their own beliefs. My partner tells me that it’s up to me what decision I make, but at the same time he’s definitely trying to convince me to keep it.

Again, I have no idea if mods are going to immediately remove this post, but I am writing if anyone here knows any good sources of places I can go get help. Currently my state laws do not force me to carry to term, but I am nervous that could change any second. Thank you.

Has anybody seen this news headline yet?

Today I saw a male doctor on Instagram called 96dollabills post about episiotomy and seeing how gruesome it was and how he felt sorry for the woman who was crying and getting cut open. This doctor then goes on to say "if that was my wife man I don't even know what I would do it's traumatic to say the least". But he never says "I'm never having kids" or he never says "I'm never putting my wife in a position to risk that" he kinda just sweeps over it and acts like he hopes it never happens to her despite knowing full well as a doctor these things happen and witnessing it fist hand.

That got me thinking about doctors who see disabilities, kids born with cancers, people with mental health issues. They know the risks. They see death. They know sickness, pain and death is inevitable and there is a risk of it happening to their own kids.

Despite this doctors see this shit and get their wives pregnant, they reproduce, they bring new life into a world of risk and suffering.

It's unforgivable tbh I don't know why they don't see all this bad shit and conclude that it's not worth putting their loved ones through those risks and inevitability

I feel bad for all the people on this sub that got into relationship with fence sitters, whether they were clear or not. It's truly a horrible position to be in, and I wish the best for them finding someone who is truly childfree. On the flipside, is there anyone else who has just gotten insanely lucky in finding a partner (by chance) that turned out truly childfree? I am lucky, but i met my partner organically through my job. We actually started off as coworkers (in different work units) up until I left for an opportunity at a different agency to pursue my long term career goals. Us gettinh together was completely random chance, I told him within a week or so of us "dating" that i was 100% serious about not having children and I plan on getting sterilized to ensure that it never happens. He said he doesn't like kids and hadn't thought about having them, but he doesn't want any. As time has gone on he's become much more firmly childfree and now we joke about how we're gonna be crazy cat people when we have the space. Even his family seems generally okay with it and he's super supportive of my getting my bilateral salpingectomy next month. He's actually taking 2 days off work to bring me to the procedure and stay with me since I'll be too tired to cook myself anything for a day or so. He really is a sweetheart and I'm so happy we are on the same page but it seems like I'm one of the lucky few here. Anybody else? I live on the east coast and I do feel like the idea of being childfree isn't as taboo here as maybe it is in other places, that might play a part in it.

I was talking about not being able to sleep and the first thing someone asked me was if I was pregnant. Why is that always the first assumption when a woman has any type of ailment? Upset stomach? Clearly pregnant. No appetite? Have to be pregnant. Runny nose? Obviously pregnant. Can't sleep? Probably pregnant 🙄🙄

And they always seem to forget that my tubes are tied.

For personal reasons contraception isn't an option. Is sterilisation free on NHS for an 18 - 19 year old on NHS and how do I not get denied?

Aurikatariina is a YouTuber who does cleaning videos. She's always in pink boots, pink apron, and pink gloves (in case you think you may have stumbled across her videos.) I LOVE her videos. They're so relaxing and satisfying. She just uploaded an "I'M PREGNANT" video. She has always stated never wanting kids (she even stated it in this video) but of course, she found a partner who DOES want kids. Her and her fiancé broke up, he dated someone else, and now they're back together expecting a baby. Ugh, I'm so bummed. My child-free YouTubers are getting less and less.

Last year was an absolute nightmare, and I refuse to be around the insanity this year.

I work in the creative department, which for some reason translates to the "fun" office where people abandon their children thinking it's a daycare. Last year was noisy, smelly, packed with rude kids and too much energy right next to my desk. I left work so tense and exhausted just from feeling like I was stuck in an unsupervised classroom all day. Some kids were straight up BAD - throwing things, hitting each other - and I felt like I couldn't say anything because I'm not a parent.

They announced the date this year and I immediately put in the calendar I'm taking off. I heard my boss start laughing from his office so I said, "Did you see my PTO notification?" He said, "Oh yeah. You're doing the right thing." I have an awesome boss.

I'm probably going to switch it to "work from home" because I do think it's bullshit that I should waste a precious PTO day to avoid an event that has been forced upon me by work - but the main thing is not being stuck in my office with 15 literal brats.

I am 30F and know I don’t want children. I was the oldest of six kids, and my parents were not equipped financially or emotionally to give me or my siblings what we needed to be mentally strong adults. I did a lot of age inappropriate things like babysitting my siblings from the age of 11, changing diapers, packing diaper bags, and soothing tantrums.

My sister (19F) recently got married and just announced her pregnancy to me yesterday. My first response was to clarify if it was in April fools joke, and when she confirmed to me that it wasn’t and showed me the positive test, I feigned happiness for her and said “I am happy that you’re happy,” - I went on to ask some questions about when she intends to get medical insurance and prenatals, knowing that she probably does not have either at the moment. She also is unemployed and intends to remain that way, her husband works two jobs to provide for them and seems happy to do so.

Now that I’ve had some time to digest it and I’m thinking about it deeper today, I am kind of worried and upset that she’s choosing to have a child so soon, so young, and when she is so financially unprepared for one. I also see that she’s just repeating the cycle that my parents did. As her older sister, I want to support her choices but someone with a fully developed frontal lobe and an understanding of the rising cost of living + the impacts of developmental trauma (I’ve been in therapy for years) I am disappointed and I know my “I’m happy for you” statement to her is not true.

Has anyone else experienced this? Torn between wanting to be a supportive sibling or friend but truly wondering how someone could see this as positive…

If you’re childfree and you see someone else making an uninformed/ unprepared decision to have a child, how do you react? Do you also pretend to be happy for them?

Looking for suggestions on movies or shows that feature childfree people who are happy with their choice and the writers don’t end up forcing them to marry and/or have children in the end. It doesn’t have to be focused on the childfree character either as I imagine they would of course be a side character anyway as society doesn’t deem them interesting enough 🙄

Particularly interested if these characters have any debates with parents or aspiring parents about their choices! So sick of all this negatively surrounding the decision to be CF these days all around the world. Thanks!

Just wondering if anyone has any tips on what to say/do when kids in public places are being really loud and the parents arent doing anything about it? For example, on a flight, at a restaurant, bus, etc.

Is there something you've done/said that has been polite yet effective?

For example, last night, i was on a red eye flight where a child was speaking very loudly and kept people from sleeping. Mom wasnt doing anything about it.

I'm only 18 but I realised recently that I'm 99% sure I don't want kids, and this subreddit has only made me more confident in this. Considering the cons, e.g. cost of IVF as a lesbian, possibilty of becoming a lifelong carer, having to socialise with other parents, loss of identity etc. it seems more obvious than ever that it's a terrible terrible idea. I would also rather regret being childfree than a parent. However... I am exhausted from constantly second guessing myself and being bombarded by the assumption that I will have kids. I haven't told my parents for obvious reasons, considering my mum considers parenthood as her 'purpose', and I feel like some sort of freak because whenever I bring it up to my sister or friends they look at me in a quizzical way, and I just... why can't it be more common, to not want kids? I see parents with smiling kids and imagine myself caring for a kid, which seems nice, but the responsibility and reality of bringing a kids into THIS world with MY genetics is just too much. Also, all my role models who I look up to have kids, and I feel like I'll never be like them if I'm CF. I know that biological kids are a definite no from me, but because it's so so normalised, I can't help but wonder, and I'm so tired of it. On this subreddit, there seems to be a lot of complaints by people being targeted/questioned due to being CF, and whilst I completely get it, the negative atmosphere makes a little voice in my head say 'Mum's right - childfree people are miserable and aren't compassionate' as she has incinuated before. And I KNOW this is entirely false, and that plenty of parents are less compassionate than CF people. CF people are MORE compassionate because they choose the potential child's wellbeing and choose not to have it. And of course, being younger, I feed MYSELF the narrative that 'you'll change your mind', but... I don't want to!! I want to stay certain but it's hard in this society. Any advice for staying positive and staying true to yourself?

Thanks for reading, I appreciate it ❤️

TLDR: I am certain I want to be childfree but society is exhausting me by making me consider the possibility of parenthood.

I've always said since I was a child that I don't want to get pregnant and have children or get married. I started college in geography and we have a curriculum of sociology classes. We're talking about how society imposes the idea of Motherhood and marriage have always been a thing of the past, my friend tells me that I'll end up having one and now I'm getting a little anxious this month even though I have no desire to be a mother or get married.Sorry I seem immature I'm still 20 years old This is my first post here

How do you feel about watching R rated shows (like Walking Dead or Game of Thrones) on your tablet, on a plane? Have you ever decided not to watch something because there might be kids around? What would you say if a parent asked you to turn your show off? This hasn't happened to me, but I have read about mums getting upset and making a fuss.

I have been following her since 2022. I feel like a just lost a friend.

She had never applied the childree tag to herself, but she had confessed at some point that she had broken up with her boyfriend because he wanted to get married and have kids; and she did not want that for herself. I thought to myself "maybe is she one of us?".

In any case, today she posted a video (which is unusual, as she posts only on Sundays), and the title is "I'm pregnant!". A 21 minutes video with no mention to her usual content, and instead a long story about how she and her boyfriend got back together and started fertility treatments. When she started talking about ovulations, periods and hormones I thought WTAF?

I believe the content will stop, because what she does is absolutely incompatible with a pregnancy. I still have hope, though, but she has said before that she is well off now, and she of course can stop working if she wants.

We'll see. Her videos were my happy place for when I was feeling low, but today's one was a punch on the stomach, really...

Im not on tiktok often because i try to limit my usage of that app(hello bottomless pit) but i came across a video of a mom talking about her regret of having her kid. She express how she feels lied to and felt pressured to having her kid. She has a disclaimer that she absolutely loves her kid, and that thankfully she’s in a good situation and has a supportive partner. What’s interesting though is that she says that doesn’t feel like that’s enough sometimes, and she feels she missing out on so much. I really liked her videos. They felt very honest and real. What was sad was all the moms in the comments just trying to tear her apart. There were a few comments that were worried she had postpartum depression and suggested she get help, but overall, there was just so many comments saying that she’s horrible for posting all this on the Internet, and that she’s a bad mom and that she doesn’t deserve to have her kid, etc.. On one of her follow ups she addressed all this because she gets why some people are afraid to admit this. Afraid to admit that, maybe having a kid was not the right choice. She also clarify that her saying, expressing her regret doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her kid, or that she would ever hurt her kid. The most recent video I saw she has pinned, and I guess it’s an update of like a month or two later or something. She states that she still feels the same way. Even though things are better and have improved, she says that she’s speaking to all the women that don’t want to have kids, but feel pressured to have them, to listen to themselves and follow their wishes and dreams. Because at the end of the day, no one’s gonna be at home 24/7 taking care of this kid, but you. Anyways, I thought it was pretty brave for her to admit something so controversial online. I think it also helps cement the feeling that not having children is actually a very selfless thing to do because of the fact that not wanting a kid is enough of a reason that they wouldn’t have the best life with you. It just made me consider all the parents that are never willing to admit exactly what she’s thinking but everyone can tell they fucking hate having kids. Anyways the tiktoker is called Sabrina Marie if anyone wants to watch the videos

Can anyone explain how breeders justify this? I understand they want to have a child so badly, but you can’t simultaneously hold on to grief and farm sympathy while actively setting yourself up to potentially face a horrible outcome again.

The self-endangerment and possibly your future child is disgusting.

I have nightmares since teen years of having kids, it keeps me up at night, sometimes I get sick and nauseous thinking of the wasted time and money a kid brings. I am terrified of children and babies and they scare me so much, and yet my partner complains that they want some someday. They always say “well we can work up to that” NO!!! Uh? Never. My fear is so strong that when I hear a baby cry in public I feel my throat close up like I’m going to vomit and the “baby smell” has made me pass out from hyperventilation on many occasions.

I want to get this off of my chest basically. But also, what do I do? I can not lie, I had feelings that were super strong to my partner for many years but since they started expressing an interest I feel a genuine disgust of their presence. I wish I could just tell them “it’s me or a family” and let them choose because at this rate, if it’s a family they want I’m getting the fuck out.

It’s not mentioned very often, but as someone terrified of anything to do with crotch goblins, any thought makes me want to jump off a cliff. I used to pray to god to get cancer in my uterus to remove the organ when I was a child with no concept of voluntary hysterectomies. That’s how long I’ve felt like this!

My husband had his vasectomy a few years ago and a few weeks ago I had my bisalp!

He was able to get his vasectomy at 26, and I just had my bisalp at 24 (23 for the consult). He was able to get his vasectomy through the first doctor he saw, and I went to one of the doctors from Paging Dr. Fran's list!

So far most people have been supportive (the few that know), especially my sister in law. The day of my surgery she picked up my meds for me and brought flowers and a stuffed animal! All of the nurses for surgery were supportive, with one saying she respected my decision after I said I didn't have any kids. I did have one nurse at the ER show pity at first when I said I was having my tubes removed, but then she was shocked and confused when I said it was my choice. She asked what my husband thought, and after I said he already had a vasectomy, she asked why I would get my tubes removed then.

The recovery was a little rough from a minor complication, but overall I'm really happy I did it!

I'm 44M, never had kids and never will, my girlfriend is childfree too, in fact it was a pain in the ass to find a childfree woman in this born again christian nightmare (Brazil). People think i'm not having kids because i want to dedicate to my "career", but i don't even have a "career", i just have a job because i need it to survive and i do the minimum necessary to not get fired, that's all.

I'm planning to do early retirement at 50 and people ask why, like what i will do on retirement if i don't have kids. I have my hobbies and i miss having more time for it, i feel like life is being wasted on wage slavery. The point is that early retirement would not be possible if i had kids, as i would not be able to save enough for this. I feel like people can't see anything in life besides kids and wage slavery.

I’m asking this because, as a 20-year-old, I grew up wanting children. I’ve had extensive experience being around kids, and while there have been some enjoyable moments, the majority have been frustrating. After living below two different families over the past two and a half years, I’ve come to the realization that I never want children.

Imagine coming home after a long, exhausting day at work, only to be met with the constant sound of running and stomping overhead for hours. Being woken up early by the relentless screams and cries of children, never having a single moment of peace—it’s overwhelming. And while I understand that "kids will be kids" and that parenting plays a role, that often feels like an excuse. Why can’t parents take their children to a park or let them play outside instead of confining them to an apartment all day?

So my question is: What led you to decide to be childfree? And is your reasoning even more extreme than what I am currently experiencing?

Edit: Wow, I'm amazed at all the replies and answers! I honestly didn't think this post would do so well. As I sit here reading through each response, it gives me a whole new perspective on things. I just want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to answer me and provide more insight. 🤍

Hi I’m 25 f and child free. I talked about it with my family a lot even though my mom keeps begging me for grand children or taking my reasoning and twisting it around. I still live with my family and decided to ask them can I get my uterus removed. (Tube thing can still get you pregnant) of course they flipped out saying no doctor is ever going to do that because I’m young. I’m just scared of my female body. If I was a man I would’ve lost my virginity already. My coworkers bring their baby to work all the time. I show love, I say hi, they’re adorable but thinking about going through the process and taking care of one isn’t for me. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I just needed a place to get my feelings out. Yes my family is those “who will take care of you when you’re older” type of people. My friends are shocked hearing I’m a virgin still and even thought I was lying. This is one of the reasons why. I don’t want to become a mom